What do you think of a man whom is involved in helping people who are in prison?

Question

If this person is single I think it is fine if he wants to do it but he was telling me that if he got married he would still be bringing exconvicts into his home because the are changed now and not threat. I believe people can change but I don't think that every criminal that says they have changed have really changed. I could not see myself having a husband that brought these kind of people into our home or around his kids or mine. Am I wrong about this? What is your opinion about this kind of situation? I am not in this situation but met a guy that does this kind of thing and it has turned me off to him as I would not want to have a man bringing criminals around me or my daughter or in our home, no matter how much they might have changed.

Answer 1

While his heart is in the right place... his head is not. My sister is so involved with sponsoring people in AA she ends up only dating guys with alcohol problems and has lots of unreliable friends. Not to mention they never seem to hold down jobs and need to stay with her and her daughter (which ends up lasting a long time).

I think you should stay away. He seems like a good guy but he clearly doesn't understand the value of personal safety and respecting your family. It would be a dangerous position to put a wife and children in.

Answer 2

Criminals can change. Haven't you ever done anything, got punished, and regret it. If so then you know that someone can make a mistake, paid his due. Now, for him not to return back to where he came from, he needs some one to help him. B/c the people that were helping him before was killing him and he will end up back at the same place. What the man is doing is honorable, I do hope that he is thinking with his brains and instincts. And I do understand why you would be upset. Believe it or not there is "honor among thieves"

Answer 3

Honey, I wouldn't reject a man you otherwise liked just because he's a prison counselor and invites some of them home. You say you have traditional values: well, what about what Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount: "For I was in prison, and you came to see me."? You might even help him to do his work.

In any event you are getting waaaaaaaaaaaaaay ahead of yourself here. You two are far from hitting it off and living with each other, so I would not worry about it yet. Instead I'd try to get him to talk about his work with these guys and why he invites them home, etc. Show more interest in him.

Answer 4

You need some counseling. I understand your being cautious, but using phrases like "these kind of people" show that you are prejudiced and a bit of a snob.

Not all ex-cons are perverts or life-long criminals. Many made one mistake or were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Unfortunately, there are a large number of people who feel as you do. That's why men like this one are valuable. They help the newly released find a life.

Let's hope that no one in your family crosses that line and winds up in a correctional institute. God help him or her if it happens. With your attitude, he/she can kiss the family support good bye.

Answer 5

Criminals don't change. The guy is either a criminal himself or he is incredibly stupid. He will be burned eventually and anyone around him would be hurt too. If criminals change, why is there such a high instance of them ending up back in prison.

Answer 6

I think you are right
Also, there are many people who are soft and sentimental about such people, without actually knowing what they are like.
Be careful.

Answer 7

I agree with you completely.If he wants to help he can help them away from his home.