Is this normal?

Question

Are fights and quarrels between lovers natural?Once in a while,I have these with my fiance and then we become normal the next day..why it happens and are they harmful..whats your opinion?

Answer 1

disagreements are normal. Fights are less normal. It all depends on the communication styles and personalities of the lovers. Some people prefer to be aggressive when upset and others are more passive and like all the facts. Some people can't listen to another's point of view while others need to hear it all laid out in order to understand. Simply express your expectations and look for signs of understanding from you significant other. If you feel that they may not be buying in to your ideas, try expressing them another way.

Answer 2

Disagreements are quite natural between couples, however, what you need to look at is how you interact with each other during the quarrel. Are you able to come to an agreement, do you (this is for either of you, or both) concede when it is beneficial. Do you grow as a result of your disagreements? Do you argue over trivial matters? What is the outcome...I know you said that you are over it by the next day, but are these things brought up again later, or are things left "up in the air"...unsettled? There is an important aspect of arguing that can be beneficial because it gives you both a chance to state your feelings, and to see where your responsibility in the relationship lies. It is very important to listen to the other person and to take their thoughts and feelings seriously. Empathy goes a long way in helping to come to a solution...really put your feet in the other persons shoes and see where they are coming from. don't dismiss their side just because you disagree...everyone needs their feelings and thoughts to be validated, so try seeing things from their point of view and then see if it makes understanding them a little easier. I know that I only have control over my thoughts actions and behaviors, and I also know that if I take the time to act or even to react in the right way, then those around me act or react accordingly. I can exercise my power of "response" ability...(responding in a way that I choose to any outside stimulus), then I can kind of guide a quarrel in the way that it should go. I don't try to assume that I know what they are trying to tell me until I have investigated (listened and used my 'empathy' skills. Men are so different from women! I learned this when I had a son after having 3 girls! They think differently...completely, and they don't have a glue how we think either, so it really takes a lot of patience and understanding (and not jumping to false conclusions) to make a good relationship. Make sure and always maintain fairness when disagreeing. Games can only lead to disaster. I guess what I am saying is take control of your responses, because you are "response" able, and make sure that your attitude during a disagreement is positive...truly trying to gain a better understanding of what you are quarreling about, and never let it get personal..as in being disrespectful to the other person. I think it is very important also never to bring up past arguements. The past is just that...past. Leave it there. I hope that everything works out for the two of you. There is so much joy in a loving and caring relationship!

Answer 3

Well yes they are. No two people are exactly alike, and if there were two people who were exactly alike, they'd be boring. Fights and Quarrels are normal, as long as they dont go on for too long, aren't too severe, and don't occur very often. How often would you say these things occur? You should probably talk to your partner about these fights, and suggest seeing a therapist if you think they are severe.

Answer 4

when you live in close proximity with someone its natural to have to blow off some steam as long as its not violent or abusive a good argument can be very cleansing

Answer 5

only you can decide what is normal