likes the band activities in her current school, but doesn't socialize much at school, and never on weekends with the other band kids. She is in 10th grade this year. She has a few friends she talks to at school, but won't call them and see them on the weekends. She just hangs around at home, reading all day or doing whatever. She says she is talking more at school, but I don't see any change in her socializing at home--she never makes a phone call to anyone.
Should I insist on boarding school? It's only for 11th and 12th graders so she would start off friendless like everyone else. The academics are the same at both her current high school and the boarding school. She says she is happy at the high school she is at, but with few friends, I'm concerned about her social development.
2007-03-11 01:44:38 · 10 answers · asked by helpfulhannah 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
1. She does not study on the weekends, and only before a test. She gets pretty good grades in spite of this. She reads fiction 89% of the entire weekend instead, unless there is something she has to do. She won't even go to the shopping mall.
2. She says she is "too lazy" to call people, because she reads until 10 pm and then has to do homework. She says she is too tired to call anyone.
Shouldn't she get some practice socializing just for life experience? She is missing out on so much by hanging around at home ALL THE TIME. She is so out of shape and won't exercise, either.
Don't you think boarding school would be a good experience for someone so disorganized/tired that she won't socialize? The boarding school has a great academic reputation, but so does her current public high school. Advice, please! Someone must see some value in the boarding school, surely??
2007-03-11 07:36:14 · update #1
And other kids used to call her once in a while, but no one does anymore, not for a few months now.
2007-03-11 07:38:14 · update #2
I was close to the same way. I only had two or so friends at school, and only one of them did I do anything with on the weekends. I wasn't a people person, so I didn't like going out. I prefered to stay at home and read or play with my pets or watch movies with my family.
I would consider this as more of a blessing than a curse that your daughter is this way. It's so much safer for her. She's not going out and giving into peer pressure of alcohol and drugs (which may be one of the reasons she stays at home- so she won't have to deal with that), and she's not out being promiscuous. Count it as a blessing that she's not like 90% of other high school girls.
If she doesn't want to go to the boarding school, you need to sit down with her and have a good discussion on her feelings about it. She probably has some very valid reasons of not wanting to go. It's hard to make new friends at that age, and she's probably nervous about it. She may not socialize all that much that you see, but the interaction she has now with her friends might be enough for her.
2007-03-11 01:56:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im a junior in High School and I dont really have any friends either. I never call anyone, have not spent any outside-of-school-time time with anyone and I am just fine. Some people, like me, just function better without friends. Just like me im sure its not that anyone is repulsed by her, people are always inviting me to prom or to wherever and I just dont want to go. I dont think there is anything wrong with that.
As far as life goes, I have a job and can function there just fine; This does not really impair your social abilities for life because you will learn those whether you want to or not.
I think its a good thing she reads and learns so much, people who spend too much time socializing miss out on that.
I can tell you that for a year or two I was extremely depressed because of my lack of friends and you may want to watch for that. Now that ive had a taste of "friendship" i can see im not missing out on much.
You should also consider the fact that friends make you do stupid things like drink, sex etc.
2007-03-11 09:58:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is perfectly fine, and if she is shy (which it seems like she may be around people her age), it can be MORE detrimental to make her start over at a new school, then it would be to try and get her new friends at a boarding school.
If she is happy, and really doesn't want to go, just leave it. You are making boarding school into a punishment for not having friends-- that is NOT the message you want to be sending across. Respect the fact that she is quiet and such. Most of my friends were shy like me, and none of us socialized until about grade 11. We all turned out at honour students and all 7 of us are currently in University.
2007-03-11 04:01:10 · answer #3 · answered by bpbjess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doupt that boarding or no bearing shes either the type to make weekend friends or not. Unless its a new school in that case she will have the chance to make new friends. If its boarding at the same school, well it works like this
shes been going there a while, fgirls have their idea on her and she has her friends, she starts boarding and everyone already knows her so they have already decded if they want to be her close friend or not. Its the way teenagers work.
2007-03-11 03:15:54 · answer #4 · answered by Lucy W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is fine. I had a few friends at school, never hung out with them on weekends, and barely called them, and Im fine. I was more interested in my schooling, wanted to get good grades so I could go off to college/university. I was a very shy child, and the first day of college I was so nervous but I made the first step and made friends, I knew I had to. She will be fine, be happy that you don't have a rebellious child who is out partying and smoking, and doing drugs, be happy that she is into her books and wants to succeed. Don't push her into boarding school, you might make it worse then what you think it is.
2007-03-11 01:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by Proud Mother 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
shes fine, does the boarding school have all the same activities? I am a sophomore too, and i dont socialize much at home either but i do a bunch of stuff at school that my parents dont know about, like clubs and stuff. My parents think i am just like your daughter, dont do much, just sits ome and do nothing, my parents even say i have no one else. If she says she is happy at her school, dont talk to her about it but i bet she is doing activities and stuff at school that you dont know about, thats not to say they are bad. Adn she might not ever call anyone simply ecause the life of a teenager is REALLY hard today, the school week is HECTIC and CRAZY, just let her relax on weekends, dont ship her off if she doesnt want to go
2007-03-11 04:58:31 · answer #6 · answered by Bryn H 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1
2017-02-20 01:04:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is happy, let her be. Some people just aren't as social as others and don't need to be. Be glad she is not into alcohol and drugs and things like that. She will be fine!
2007-03-11 05:38:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well do what she wants........ why would boarding school be better??? and u dont know what goes on at school...... she could be the most popular girl in the 10th grade for all u know........ and i have friends but i dont go out every weekend..... i dont even call my friends that often...... and i dont get calls everyday and i have alot of friends....... talk to her...... see what she wants to do.......
2007-03-11 06:24:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the same way.
Just talk to her about the idea of boarding school and see what she says about it.
2007-03-11 03:51:58 · answer #10 · answered by SaraShootEmUp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋