Please help me with my jealousy?

Question

Please help me with my jealousy?
i am so jealous of my friend because she got this babysitting gig at a church $5 dollars for every baby. but the thing is i am way more experienced than her. she was watching my twin neighbors once. they are about 1. but she had to call me bc she couldnt handle it. and then she ended up getting paid still when i did all the work. im trying to find more people to babysit or mabey a toutering gig for like a second grader. but i just get so jealous so easly. Please help

Answer 1

Everyone feels jealous from time to time. Jealousy is easy to deal with, once you understand what it's teaching you. Here are some pointers on working through your emotions and feelings of jealousy.
Understand the emotion. Jealousy is usually a combination of fear and anger; a fear of losing something, and anger that someone is "moving in on" something that you feel belongs only to you. Also, be aware of the distinction between jealousy and envy: they are two separate and distinct emotions. Jealousy involves wanting to keep something which you already have; whereas, envy involves wanting something which you don't have.
Allow yourself to actually 'feel' the emotion in a healthy way. When you start feeling jealous, ask yourself: is it more fear based, or more anger based? Recognize which part of your body is being affected. If you feel a dropping or clutching sensation in your stomach, it’s probably fear. If you feel a burning, tight sensation in your shoulders and jaw, then you’re likely feeling anger. You might also feel a combination of those sensations.
Communicate your feelings. Sharing your true feelings with someone without blaming them can create a deep sense of connection between the two of you and open up a dialogue about the path of your relationship. Instead of saying, "you shouldn't have done that", say, "I felt terrible when you did that." Use "I" instead of "You".
Identify what your jealousy is teaching you. Jealousy can alert you to what you want, and what is important to you. If you’re jealous of someone talking to a friend of yours, personal relationships may be important to you. If you’re jealous of your money, you may have an underlying need for security or freedom. Ask yourself, 'Why am I jealous over this? What is making me jealous? What am I trying to keep? Why do I feel threatened?' When you begin to understand what makes you jealous, you can begin to take positive steps to maintain those things, without the cloud of negative emotion that accompanies jealousy.
Change any false beliefs that might cause jealousy. There are often false beliefs that underlie jealousy and fuel emotion. If you examine the belief, many times, you can eliminate the jealousy. Some common underlying beliefs are “Everyone is out to get my money.” or “If this person leaves me, I won't have any friends.” Beliefs are changeable. If you change your belief, you change the way you feel. Choose to tell yourself a belief that is nurturing and supportive, and you’ll feel better. When you begin taking steps to creating a happy and fulfilling life for yourself, you will find the anger, the jealousy and the fear will disappear.



Tips
Jealousy is not the same thing as love. Sometimes, people think that by feeling jealous about someone, they are loving them. Jealousy is not love, it’s the fear and anger of losing love. Jealousy disappears when you are truly loving yourself and others for whatever experience you’re having.
Learn to be happy yourself and what you have. Everyone is different and each person has their good and bad qualities. Realize that you have the potential to create a better future.
Try to talk about your problems with someone. Perhaps you feel that these jealous tendencies are a private matter; then, you ought to anonymously ask an advice column or similar construct about your problem.



Warnings
If jealousy in your relationship is leading to control or power struggles, it's a sign that there is an underlying issue which needs to be addressed.

Answer 2

Well ,,,, You might consider just how much of a friend this so called friend of yours is ,,,, She shouldn't expect you to help her make her money and then not compensate you properly for the help ,,,, But then again you shouldn't have agreed to help her before discussing it with her either ,,,, I think the best thing to do is just leave it alone and move on ,,,, There's nothing that can be done about it now anyway ,,,, If she asks for your help again then just tell her that you have other things you have to do ,,,, She doesn't need to know the truth ,,,, Maybe if she fails again or several times later you'll get your children back ,,,, Everyone else answering this question missed the mark ,,,, They are thinking about the jealousy factor ,,,, I don't think it is jealousy you feel so much as it is simply wanting justice ,,,, You helped this girl who was being paid to do her job ,,,, She should have been up front with compensation for it and wasn't ,,,, You shouldn't have agreed to help with out discussing it first ,,,, So it's more or less tit for tat so to speak ,,,, Lesson learned for next time so your efforts weren't totally wasted ,,,, Hope you have better luck later on ,,,,, Yoda told you this ,,,,

Answer 3

Jealousy is a natural emotion everyone knows the feeling.
Since you have addressed the problem, you have won
over half the battle, just work on how well you can be more
tolerant of competition, be honest with those you deal with
and make a good image of yourself that others will see in
you. This will give you confidence in yourself and give those
around you to have confidence in you.

Answer 4

In any way of life. Jealousy is the absence of Love. If you call this one your Friend? Then there isn't any Love between you. If you are truely Friends? Then you should support her? Maybe that Love will get her to help you. Instead of having you panic about not having something. Take it easy. Things have a way of working themselves out.

Answer 5

mayb u should team up with her. U no, create your own babysitting company. That way u get paid the same as your friend.

Answer 6

I agree with Kelly V. Helping her in some way is the only thing that will cure your jealousy.

Answer 7

Well, at least you recognize you have a jealousy problem. That's already a huge step forward.

Answer 8

talk to your friend and see if she will be willing to let you help at the church. if she wont listen, you could go to the church and tell them that you are realy interested in babysitting.

Answer 9

im sure there is more babysitting jobs and if your friend needs your help you should help her like a friend does and dont expect any money from her

Answer 10

just join her and help out and split the profit. another way of making money at your age would be , dog walking or light house cleaning for elderly.