i know it hasn't a long time since he left, since 5Am friday morning we got into a arguement and he finally said that he is fed up told that he just needs some space and it was after my niece's mom move in now i know he is having a hard time because we are living with my parents he is waiting to get in the police department so i think i understand that he needs space but we have two kids we have been married for 9 years what can i do.
2007-03-11 01:27:29 · 12 answers · asked by Stacie R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we haven't been living with my parents for the 9 years we just recently moved in with them like5 months ago we did have our own place but when that time was up we didn't have anywhere to go so the only option is my parents house now he is staying at his parent and i and the kids our at mine.
2007-03-11 01:39:09 · update #1
all he says is that he needs some space and then we can talk things out and by then he will be calm and ready to talk i just love him so much
2007-03-11 01:45:19 · update #2
he has had a job he doesn't just sit around he was laid from gutter guys because of weather but he was always home with me never left the house and if he did he usally took me and the kids but my whole thing was that he would stay up and talk with my niece's mom and they would just talk i would wake up and check on them without them knowing and they wouldn't be doin anything.
2007-03-11 01:57:43 · update #3
well we haven't been able to afford daycare so i haven't been able to work i have a 6 year old and a 2 year old
2007-03-11 05:53:28 · update #4
Do you have a job and are you helping out? There is no reason that the two of you can't be living in some small apartment until he has a steady job. He does need his space after living with your parents. That is not easy.
2007-03-11 04:05:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so he's waiting to get in the police dept. what's he doing in the meantime? not just hanging around waiting i hope! if he is, he's not much of a man. so you've been married 9 years and are living with your PARENTS?! i hate to tell you, but it's possible that he's got a girlfriend somewhere, especially, if he hasn't been working and supporting you and the kids. if he's that kind of man, i doubt that he will be able to pass the psychological tests to get on with the police dept anyway.
his leaving may be the best thing that ever happened to you! even though you don't think so now. truly, he doesn't sound like he's into being a man and raising a family with a wife. he sounds more like a lazy bum.
it's always hard to live in someone else's home. if it's a temporary thing he should be able to cope. you and everyone else are having to right? if it's been long term, then if it bothers him so much, he can get a job and get you a place of your own. ( like a man would) instead of acting like a spoiled little boy and running away, leaving you with all the responsibilty. the fact that your nieces mom moved in really has nothing to do with it, it's just a handy excuse he used to get out of the house and go stay with his girlfriend. i'd bet you my family dog on it.
sit down and really think about the past 9 years. has he let you down over and over? when did it start? has it gotten worse lately? how does he treat you and the kids? is he short tempered? moody? maybe what you really need to do it file for divorce. good luck.
2007-03-11 01:52:04 · answer #2 · answered by JEANNE B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a place of your own. After nine years you should have your own home with no one else living there. He is probably feeling inadequate as a man. Not having a job and all. The police dept is not the only job out there. He needs to face the music, get a job and provide for his family.
2007-03-11 01:32:38 · answer #3 · answered by docelec2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been married for 9yrs and you are living with your patents,that is your first problem right there.You,your husband and your children should be living in your own place.I think that the first step you need to take in putting your marriage back together is move out of your parents and establish your own home.If your husband is wanting to become a police officer that in itself is a completely different lifestyle and I speak from experience my husband is a police officer and you have to be ready to deal with anything.Good Luck to you.One more thing if your husband said he does not love you anymore you cannot force anyone to love you...
2007-03-11 01:34:47 · answer #4 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have too many people living with you! I don't know if you are living in your own house or in your parents' home. If you are living with your parents in your home, because they have nowhere else to go, there really is not much of a solution. But if you are living with your parents in THEIR home after NINE YEARS of marriage, you have a major maturity issue. Move out and get your own place!
2007-03-11 01:33:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anpadh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you either need to get therapy with or without him. Because if he does go with you great...you can try to work things out, but if he doesn't go...that right there is a big sign that he no longer wants to be in the marriage. Then, in that case you will need help in coping with his selfish decision.
Good luck.
2007-03-11 01:42:25 · answer #6 · answered by BrokenOpalAngel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be living as a family, separately from extended family.
2007-03-11 01:40:20 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds really immature, plus he is not able to even provide a home for you and your children? What a prize!!! Divorce him.
2007-03-11 01:37:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds as if he is beginning to disconnect from u, he doesn't like his life, u really need to get your own place to live. living with others never works.
2007-03-11 01:43:12 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't waste your life...move on. it's nice to live happy, don't worry too much because of him.. divert your love to your kids.
and most of all try to love yourself
2007-03-11 04:32:25 · answer #10 · answered by cheung_crl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋