Help! I need some advice....... I am married and have fallen for a man that I work with. Nothing has happened, but I can't stop thinking about this person!! I thinkk he feels the same way too!
2007-03-11 00:40:55 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Me and my man haven't been getting on in the past few months. I had a major trauma last year and he wasn't as supportive as he should have been and it has really scarred me. I don't really know if I love him. We only got married last year. I'm really confused.
2007-03-11 00:48:47 · update #1
He has a major problem with me, he says I'm overweight and that if I loved him I would lose weight to make him and me both happier. He tries to control things too much and I think he is developing OCD tendencies aswell. He blames this on me because he's not happy with the way I am.
2007-03-11 01:17:48 · update #2
Sorry to break it to you, but once your married and this happens the only thing you can do is get a divorce...just wait, it will pass
2007-03-11 00:44:02 · answer #1 · answered by michshell159 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Now, calm down! You really do need advice. So, here goes. Stop acting so childish. Forget the office affair, you will only be the laughing stock of the whole company, or worse, force your husband to kill you. Some men always want what another man has claim to.
Why did you get married in the first place? Do you even remember what it was that attracted you to your husband that made you realize that he was, The One, and say, "I do"?
Marriage is a commitment, and most people take a vow, in the belief that they will make a fruitful and caring and lasting relationship. Instead of working on the guy at work, you should be giving it your all and working on your early marriage.
When we marry someone, we learn and we grow with that person. So, you've had a bit of trauma and your husband didn't treat you like your mother or father would have. Is that any reason for you to trash your marriage?
Get with the program and start behaving like the wife that he thought you would be. Stop looking for the easy way out and respect your marriage, and yourself, for that matter.
2007-03-11 09:11:29 · answer #2 · answered by DARMADAKO 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should really sit down and consider your feelings. Do you love your husband, are you willing to risk what you have with him for another man? Now, you have a crush, which causes the butterflies in your tummy and all that, which you no longer have with your husband, and it is nice, but it will not last with another man either. You are in a fog about the other person, thinking about him all the time, maybe thinking you would be happier with him. This too will go away if you start to focus on your husband. Spend more time with your husband, talk to him, go out, be more intimate, try to think about all the good things and memories with him. If you are willing to get a divorce, or break your husband's heart and never have him trust you if you do cheat, if he takes you back after you realize what a huge mistake you've made, then go for it. If not, focus on your marriage and your husband and keep all contact with the guy to business only. Visit this site, it may help you understand what will happen if you choose to risk your marriage, unless you want a divorce. www.marriagebuilders.com
2007-03-11 08:57:24 · answer #3 · answered by ummaseela 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are in love with this guy at the office, you are probably in love with the attention he may be giving you, since you are not getting it from home. You say your husband says you need to lose weight, it is not the weight it is him you need to lose. He he loves you and truly loves you it does not matter you size. When I married I weighed 125 now I am 160 and my husband loves me with or with out the extra pounds. Do not do anything while you are married, divorce him and then look to see if you really love this other guy.
2007-03-11 09:43:22 · answer #4 · answered by teressahousley@sbcglobal.net 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are between a 'rock and a hard place'. Think thru the situation with your intellect, rather than your emotion. Is the pleasure you seek with this other man worth the pain that you will inflict on him, his wife, you, your husband, your family, his family. You are not operating in a vacuum, everything you and he do will affect the lives of other people, in ways you cannot even begin to imagine. I speak from experience, and trust me, the pain is very real, and very lasting.
Think very carefully, before jumping off this cliff.
2007-03-11 08:55:20 · answer #5 · answered by wild1handy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess the question is.... How do you feel about your husband? Remember this could be lust and not love you are feeling with this other man. You should be sure of your feelings before doing anything rash. If you still love your husband than you should chalk it up as a crush and let it go before someone gets hurt. Good luck
2007-03-11 08:49:30 · answer #6 · answered by Bubbles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if u feel you like this person more than who your currently married too then id say try it but before u go and get a divorce make sure that person feels the same way about u then there no point in given up your husband or wife just for nothing hope this helped !!!!
2007-03-11 08:45:34 · answer #7 · answered by whataboutme 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Smarten up and grow up. You are married and have a vow to work on your relationship and not be selfish. Stay away from this other dude, that's just silly and self-indulgent. You need to change your attitude toward your husband and your marriage, and WORK on it in a much more positive way.
2007-03-11 09:42:24 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop before u mess a beautiful married life.
wen u buy a car, u find nutha 1 on road much better, wen ur datin sme1, u like da other guy cute, dis is human nature, we get attracted 2 things. but a car can be compensated but not a married life
wats da best u can get from him ? u kno da ans...but after dat...u think he can keep u happy ..den ur hubby ??
guys can fall for ne girl, u kno da guys around u....dnt make a 1 time mistake make u repent for life, u wud not know whether things wud work out wid dis new guy or not, but...dnt do smethn dat wud make ur hubby regret or doubt on ur character
addl :
there wud always be ups n downs in a relationship..everythn depends if ur ready 2 ignore em n move ahead, he wasent supportive once, but shud've talked it out wid him rather keep it inside u....unless u tell him wat u feel, things wud not work out..u kno it...
2007-03-11 08:54:28 · answer #9 · answered by moooooooovin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First wife had an affair with a co-worker. This is way too common, be sure to think about how upset your husband will be after you have had your ten minutes of fun with your co-worker. Good Luck with your divorce.
2007-03-11 08:47:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋