Why don't "best friends" of opposite sexes fall in love with each other?

Answer 1

Oh, dear. I don't know if I can do justice to answering this question, but I will give it a shot.

Love... sweet feelings of safety and protection, affirmation, understanding, a bonding, trust, admiration, knowing someone -- really knowing someone, acceptance, care. Love of this nature can be accomplished in different degrees with different dynamics by people in various types of relationships.

Friendship is a bond that joins two people to seek each other out for recreation, rest, communication, challenge, and growth. "Best friends" provide a special companionship for each other that close acquaintances and even other close friends just don't match in some way at some time.

Falling in love carries with it the expectation that deeper emotional/physical/sexual feelings will develop. A promise of deeper intimacy.

CRASH! The safety barrier is broken.

I am imagining that women more than men would guard a relationship to protect it from CRASHing the safety barrier, but I know men can shy away from this as well. Previous abuses of relationship intimacy, self-doubts, fear of losing someone you love, fear of intimacy in general -- sheesh, lots of things, can cause friends of either party to uphold the safety barrier and maintain a relationship as close friends rather than challenge the safety barrier.

And part of the "safety" of the relationship may be that one party or both wasn't face to face with physical attraction to start with. Although this can develop, it's very possible for a friendship to thrive without that attraction. It may never become an issue if the relationship isn't challenged to go further.

If this is your relationship, and you are honest with your friend, perhaps you can communicate your feelings in an honest and safe way. Do remember, though, that if you are the party seeking a different kind of intimacy and your friend seems hesitant, you need to be careful to respect his/her need for the things that helped your relationship grow to this point: sweet feelings of safety and protection, affirmation, understanding, a bonding, trust, admiration, knowing someone -- really knowing someone, acceptance, care.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I guess because when you start out as friends...you actually like that person - you see some of yourself in them. You usually have much in common, similar backgrounds and can identify with many things that they hold to be true for themselves. When you fall in love with a friend, it's from the inside out. I think that is the truest form of love. You can be very attracted to someone based on physical appearance and chemistry...but that does not last. When you connect with someone on an intellectual level first, it is so much more powerful and meaningful. You love the whole person, all the wonderful things about them, all the weaknesses and the silly quirks that you already know about. You also knew them in a completely different context, not when they are already the b/f or g/f..on their best behavior. You get a glimpse of the real person interacting in their daily lives and you get to determine if this is someone that you would want to be with. Are they kind, do you share the same values, do you see them as a good person? Chances are yes, since you're already friends.

Answer 3

I think you can be in love with your friend of the opposite sex. Not all relationships are built on the foundations of sex. I had a lover who is now my best friend (we were together 4 years). I also have another brilliant friend. People think we are a couple when we are out but we are only friends. And its wonderful. We do love each other. But we both know we would never work as more than we are!

Answer 4

I personally think that it can happen more than you think (the falling for each other). I think that the difference is how the person is attracted to the individual! If a man and a woman are friends and share common interest they can just be friends as long as that just it. But I think if one person feels more than just companionship, for example a physical attraction then there is a possibility of falling for each other. Think about it...loads of people who have been in really really long relationships tend to say thing like ''I feel like my other half is like my best friend''. BEST FRIENDS CAN BECOME LOVERS XX

Answer 5

Some do.... but most would consider it like falling in love with a brother or sister. A best friend is just that, no emotional involvement, but always there if you should need them.

Answer 6

Sometimes Best friend can mean more than a relationship! Love always go wrong.Did you know a love heart turned upside down is two tear drops!Its is better to stay friends because then that can be forever and you will never get hurt by that person!!!!! Who else is going to be there if you got heart broken by your best friend???

Answer 7

because with certain people they don't feel any sexual attraction towards them and have never thought about them in that way. besides, men and women who are close friends can still get along and communicate with each other, without feeling as if they want to sleep with them. my two best friends of whom i've known since school are male and not once did i have any feelings towards either of them, and even to this day i still don't. yes in certain cases this type of thing happens, but in truth it is about how well you've know that person or those people and the fact that you have so much trust, respect and honesty with one another to know that you can still be and only be friends with them, to the extent to which it has never gone beyond friendship

Answer 8

I wouldn't say it never happens.

If they've been best friends since they were very young - when they weren't feeling sexual attraction towards ANYONE - I suppose it makes it harder to recognise any feelings that they do have.

But in lots of instances, spending so much time together and being so close makes falling for each other sort of...

inevitable.

Answer 9

I would say that two best friends of opposite sex are in love with each other, they just don`t realise it. Or they are too scared to admit it in case they ruin friendship.

Answer 10

some times they do....but some times they properly like each other but think that if some think happens it will spoil there friendship also some time they really don't know what each other is thinking.....and are scared to voice what they feel because the other one might not feel the same and will make the atmosphere between then awkward....