Fathers rights?

Question

My son has separated from his ex partner for 3 years. They have 2 beautiful daughters together. When my son left he gave her the house and contents, plus he pays £350 a month maintanance. However, he can only see his daughters (age 4 and 7) when it suits her. He can only bring them to my house and take them to their dance lessons. He cannot introduce his partner of nearly 3 years to the girls or take them to their house . They are getting married this year and the girls arnt allowed to know never mind go! Even after the wedding he will still have to bring them here (I am the girls grandmother) as she says she will stop him having access if they go anywhere near the new partner. My son has been told that because he was not married to his ex that he has no rights regarding the girls - surely this cannot be right. My sons name is on their birth certificate! Has anybody had a similar situation and any advice. She has said if he takes her to court she will stop access & tell the girls why

Answer 1

he has fathers rights, even though they were not married,he is on the birth certificate and as long as he is, after a certain year which i cant remember exactly ,but with them being 4 and 7 they definately fall into this catagory ,he gets automatic fathers rights.
she cannot stop him taking them wherever he wants or meeting his new partner. he needs to go to court and get a contact order, he will most definately be given more time with them than he has now and as long as he demonstrates he turns up on time and returns them on time etc there shouldnt be a problem. he should have set days or weekends with them and part of the holidays, this is standard practise. she is being very unreasonable.

maybe its time to call her bluff, she sounds like she has not come to terms with the situation and is scared he will try to take the girls and of his new partner mothering them, do you have a good relationship with her? maybe you could go for a chat, or offer to have them meet his partner at your house for first few times. i think after 3 years this needs sorting out once and for all. your son sounds like a decent father and she should realise how lucky she is. the best of luck to you all

Answer 2

Because he wasnt married to her he has few rights without a court order. he can go to court and should be given at least 'reasonable' access. Unless he is a really bad violent drug addicted or whatever kind of guy there is no reason for the court to deny him access or limit it. They wont take into account his ex.s hangups. His ex, basically, sounds like a total b***h who is using the kids to control him still. She could deny access even after a court hearing by just not letting him take the kids, being out when he calls etc and he would have to go back to court. Its difficult to make her comply. Its going to be tough and tough also on the kids. Eventually the will be of an age where they will be old enough to have some input into this, but its a long wait.
Court is the best option to legally get access. She may be scared if he actually goes through with it and comply, but she may not. Hope it works out for him

Answer 3

Sounds to me - because she's not very nice. But then again, I work with people from the UK all the time - and not to say that this isn't a problem in America - parents MOMS and DADS all the time, use the kids as leverage. But I am starting to notice over there there is something funny up with divorce laws and parenting rights - especially for the dads.

She could - technically - deny him rights I would assume if she has custody - seriously with my clients I see it EVERY day. But I also see the mom's calling me when the court sides against them! It can be fought - if he is paying his maintanance, has a good job, and hasn't had any questionable activities (such as drugs, criminal activity, etc) he should have a decent case. AT least he should go see a lawyer - or rather, solicitor over there, right? - and see what they advise.

:) Good luck! That sounds like he got the short end of the stick.

Answer 4

Your son is allowing this woman to control his life. If he won't get the courts involved, it won't get any better, just worse. He must go into court and explain the situation in detail. If he does, they will handle the problem and he will have reasonable access to his children. Whether they were married or not has no bearing on the issue. This woman has recognized the fact that he is the father since his name is on the birth certificates. Seems pretty obvious why he left her. He should not let this go - fight back and do it now but do it through the courts.

Answer 5

Women like this make me so angry - she doesn't mind taking your son's money like he is a walking bank but is being totally unreasonable about access. In my view, if a woman denies access for no good reason she should also forgoe the right to maintenance. I would question this woman's ability as a mother - what mother denies the children access to their father and then tries to poison their little minds. He needs to get a solicitor as soon as possible and fight her all the way. Your son has been too generous already, the house, the contents and maintenance - what a selfish, nasty piece of work she is - sorry to rant. Good luck to your son, keep fighting.

Answer 6

Most men in this situation (and there are many) would simply stop having contact with the girls. Start a new family with the new wife and let the former breeder of his children deal with the loss. Latter when the girls are 18 he can bring them back into his life. Meanwhile try to get the daughter's mom on tape saying these things so they can be played back to the daughters when they turn 18 so they know the true nature of their mom. Even if he had married her, she would be able to do this stuff.

Answer 7

No WAY .this is not true at all.

He is the girls father he has LOTS of rights.

He needs to get a lawyer and to sort this out ASAP!.....because whilever there are no court orders regarding visitation ...........the ex will continue to do this...............your son has every right to include his children in his life, and meet his new partner, and go to the wedding!

She cannot stop access to him seeing his children, and if he wants to he can even go for shared custody......if he is getting married Im sure he can provide a good life for his girls./he may not want to upset the girls by doing this .........but my point is he has the right to if he wants!

Answer 8

If he takes her to court she can't stop access because now she would not be following court orders. He's a pushover if he allows this threat to stop him. The girls will learn the truth when he shows his unconditional love and doesn't bad mouth mommy. If he has no rights to the girls then he wouldn't need to be paying maintenance. Throw that back at whoever claims that's the case. a legal marriage does not determine his right's as a father, his DNA does.

Answer 9

This is not right. At least not in Australia, and I don't thing England in THAT far behind on parental rights, surely! He needs to get himself a solicitor.

I assume he is registered as the girls' father on their birth certificates? In that case he can apply for the same access as any father can. Otherwise a paternity test will resolve that issue and the court will order one if necessary.

The mother is being ridiculous.

Answer 10

I stopped my ex seeing my daughter. He said he was going to take me to court but never did, basically cos it would have cost him a fortune.
My solicitor told me that if he did take me to court for access he might get it but it would still be to my terms (this was nearly 9 years ago now so things might have changed).
The father only has real rights when they have been married to the mother, it makes no difference if their name is on the birth certificate or not.
Your son needs to find a good solicitor and be prepared to fight.