Should I be mad?

Question

I work, and support my husband while he is in school. I used to homeschool our son and now he does this. He has a lot of spare time, as he barely does any house cleaning.

I work from home, but I have been working 11 - 14 hour days lately... I am tired and cranky. Also I quit smoking at the beginning of the week and did I mention I was PMSing? I am under a LOT of stress. We had it out the other day - and I told him I feel unappreciated and I am sad. I haven't left my house - not even to check the mail since last Sunday.

My husband said tonight he would give me a massage after work. When I got off work he was sleeping. I came to wake him up to tell him t just go to bed. Then he turned on the TV watched the 1 1/2 hour of television AWAKE and THEN came to bed! I of course got no massage - and no recognition whatso ever. We at leftover turkey tonight that I cooked while I was WORKING yesterday :(

Do I have the right to expect dinner and him to keep his word? He did when he worked!

I will not begin to say that this is an easy task and between school and our son, my husband is fairly busy. However, he doesn't do much of the housecleaning, and his homeschooling tactics - well, let's just say they aren't DEMANDING and the rules are much more lax.

Oh and we are unschooling parents and since he is young - age 6 - he mainly takes him to group science, PE, math - whatever activities - and then does learning time and reading at home for about an hour to an hour and a half...

We aren't talking about running around after a toddler all day or teaching algebra!

He says I expect too much - and maybe I do - I am working on that. But seriously - is it really too much to expect our ONE child to be washed and clothed, to be schooled, to have the dishes done and dinner made?

We have been married - and no we are not above counseling - we have actually gone in the past. But I am a private contractor and at the moment we have no med. insurance..... MAN I can't wait till he is done with school - in SEPTEMBER!!! ARHHHGGGGG!

Answer 1

Well your husband could be going through a lot of stress at the moment too. Having to take care of your son, (why can't you just make the kid do some housework) and going to school isn't an easy task for some people. Just talk to him again.

Answer 2

Okay I am in the opposite situation I am the one who homeschools two children ages 10 and 6 and we don't unschool so even at 10 we are teaching algebra it is very demanding and I have to do so much organizing and planning and learning it is crazy. I have household chores and I take care of my husbands grandmother so I know all about unappreciated and people expecting to much from you. My husband works 13 hours a day six days a week and doesn't have the time or energy to give to me that I would like him to and I don't have the time and energy for him. But when it gets really bad I take matters into my own hands and this is what you should do. Try being extra sweet to him ask him if there is anything you can help him with, take him to dinner, make his favorite treat at home. When he turns on the TV get behind him and rub his back. The way to get his attention is to give him yours he will start to get the idea. As for the house work just because you are working doesn't mean it is just his job to get the kid washed and the laundry done. You are working at home would it be so hard for you to put clothes in the dryer on your way to get another cup of coffee?

Answer 3

sounds to me like you ARE mad - very mad, and have been patient and understanding for a long time..and he is not aware. Do you expect him to be aware of you and your needs just because you would be? I'm afraid that your complaints are going to fall on deaf ears because you and your man have clearly got communication issues . Get some help - there's some good marriage counsellors out there....don't say it's not that bad that you need a counsellor, because otherwise you will wait way beyond crisis mode before you and your man get support. There's loads of info, books, CDs etc out there. Go on a mission to learn as much as you can to make your most significant relationship work. You do want it to work, don't you?

Answer 4

yes u have the right to be mad. u r looking for attention from hi m .. everyone is busy .. but they still need to care about each other feeling . of coz u have to be understanding . but also he got to understand u as well if he is still ignore ur feeling after u talk to him . u have to ignore everything .. seem like u are the only one in the house care about the little things..if it is keep goin on like this , u guys might disvoce at some point ,, better slove the probelm earlier.. 2 ppl build a family is all about supporting each other . emotionally

Answer 5

Pointing fingers and keeping a list of all the ways someone is disappointing you, is a really great way to make yourself miserable.

You have a husband and a child, a *family*. And you are able to stay home where you're comfortable instead of having to be out there in the unforgiving world to earn your pay.

Relax and take a few deep breaths, try to understand at least a little that maybe you're being a wee bit selfish here...

Answer 6

your husband is not being fair to u my best friend cathy would say well he is a man aint he ha ha good luck i hope things get better u need a break

Answer 7

First of all dogs get mad, people get angry. Yes you should be resentful that he doesn't help around much. Talk it out with him.

Answer 8

yeah, you gotta keep him on check, maybe he doesn't realize how stressed you are. Sit him down and tell him again

Answer 9

absolutely. anything he expected of you when he was working, you can expect from him. anything less is not enough to repay you. tell him either get his act together or get a job.

Answer 10

okay...thats messed up...well i guess for me....i will be mad of course because im working too hard to support my family or whatever...i agree with you...but i dont know...try making them feel sorry i guess......hahhaha...see if it works