I was wondering, if you have sex with someone before marriage...do you always remember them and and think of them when you think about your first time? do you feel like he/she will always be a part of you and vice versa? do you repent not being able to tell your loved one you saved yourself just for them and that you loved them and thought of them years before you met them, and that saving youself is the best gift you'll ever be able to give them?
im young and just curious to get some good answers. please gimme you thoughts and opinions.
2007-03-10 19:26:40 · 23 answers · asked by Alpha7 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I dont know, but wouldnt it be nice to give to your 1 love, the person you'll be with forever?
2007-03-10 19:47:57 · update #1
give it***
2007-03-10 19:50:09 · update #2
I lost my virginity on a one night stand when I was 19. It was fun, but I never cared to get the guys last name, can't remember what he looks like and when he called me the following day and came over, I told him what was what and that I was not interested in pursuing a relationship at that time, so do I think about my first time or feel emotionally attached? No, not one bit.
I've had sexual relationships after that with people I knew and was at least friends with, do I feel emotionally attached or think about it? Not really, it was fun, but that's it.
My partner has also had previous sexual relationships and he too is very realitistic about sex. Neither of us are impractical enough to think that the 'saving yourself' bit is much more than a line given be anti-sex avocates and trust me, I've met my share of them, growing up with very conservative parents and even attending protestant schools instead of public. To us, virginity is just a first experience, but nothing more special than the first time you ate chocolate icecream or the first time you wrote your name. I don't remember either experiences and I barely remember my first time aside from the details I told you just now. The most important part is that you're healthy.
If you're wondering "should I have sex? or should I wait" You may as well wait unless you're absolutely sure you can deal with the responsibilities of sex. If you need more information on safe sex, unwanted/unplanned pregnancy, stds ect. visit plannedparenthood.org It's not all just fun and games or 'emotional attachment' and guilt.
2007-03-10 19:39:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay probably not the best answer for you as a young person, but I'm married and I was curious and young at one time too..thus premarital sex.
When I turned a certain age, I decided to find out what everyone was talking about..sex, that is. So, I made a pact with two of my girlfriends at the time that we'd all lose our virginity within 3 months. I took care of the little problem the next day. For me, it was just physical activity. For many girls, it means instant commitment and forever love..the type you are talking about.
I truly can't remember the actual sex I had with anyone but my husband. So, the idea that they are always a part of me and vice versa doesn't hold water.
I don't repent on the idea of not saving myself for my husband, because in my mind, I did. I've never given so much trust, faith, love and honesty to anyone of my former partners than I have my husband. The sex we have is truly "making love". I can't say that about former boyfriends or partners because now that I look back on it...it isn't true.
I think saving yourself is your gift that you keep for yourself. Don't save yourself as a gift to give someone else. Save yourself as a gift you allow yourself to have.
I often think that maybe my first time could have been more about the romance then curiosity, but that's how I dealt with it. Can't go back and change it now.
My ramblings probably didn't help, but there you are ...thoughts and opinions. Do with them what you will.
2007-03-11 04:47:32 · answer #2 · answered by Mangomum 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As an adult that didn't wait to have sex before marriage... I now wish I did. I will encourage my daughter to wait for marriage. As a teen it wasn't made something "wrong" to do. It was more like "if your going to do it then at least use protection". That is almost encouraging. Teens will do it if they really want to, but I won't encourage it... quite the oppisote.
As a women, yes I remember my first.... not so much the first time though. No, I don't feel he will always be a part of my life. I don't even know where he is now or anything about him.
I don't regret telling my husband I didn't wait. We were familure with each other's past. I'm a renowed Christian and not until the last few years realized how inportant it is to wait until marriage.
2007-03-19 00:35:44 · answer #3 · answered by rl_pitts 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I had several partners before I got married at the age of 22. I remember the ones that meant something and not all of them did. I wouldn't say that I regret not saving myself, but I do wish that maybe I had chosen some of my partners a little more carefully. Sex is so much better when there are feelings behind it and it can be a beautiful thing when it is used for expressing your love for another person as opposed to it being only about pleasure and getting carried away in the moment. On the other hand, my husband did save himself for marriage and was a virgin until our wedding night. His decision to stay a virgin had to do with his morals and religious convictions and was not because he didn't have the opportunity. He and I were celibate until we were legally wed and we were together for 2 years before we got married. He doesn't regret his decision and I have alot of respect for him for being able to honor himself in such a way.
2007-03-11 04:55:04 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question is very good and you are very pure in your thoughts.
I thought the way you did years ago when I was a young christian teenage boy.
I now have some mileage and I travelled a bumpy journey over the years. The road was not always smooth but it made me the kind of man that i am today because I know what my life about now.
Yes, me and my wife had Pre-marital sex
I loved her before I had sex with her and the sex only sealed the love we have for each other.
Trust me, We did not get married for sex.
We got married because we both feel like God placed us within our path. We have the same crazy feelings for each other. We are very happy together.
I am not lusting for other women like I was in the past.
I crave for only 1 woman. I Love her so much.
I like your thoughts. I used to think the same way when I was younger. After being exposed to the world at an early age.
I travelled the 7 seas across the globe and my mind got contaminated.
Continue to find out who you are before you make important decisions.
Thank you . Take care of yourself.
2007-03-11 05:08:00 · answer #5 · answered by Big P 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't wait, I wished I had, because now I know why God frowns on sex sin. He (God) you became one with the person you are having sex with. People think you just get into bed with that person and do the do, It is a spiritual thing that goes on when you sleep with a person. That's why you should only cleave to your husband. I wish I had the space and the time to explain every thing to you. You should hold yourself for your husband. You will always remember your first, I wouldn't go as far to say you will always think or even love them, but they will be a part of your life forever. One can only be a virgin once in your life. After that you can only be celibate.
2007-03-19 03:22:17 · answer #6 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to wait until marriage to have sex, then by all means do it. Do not do something based on others' opinions.
I have had sex before marriage, and have been married twice. I do not regret anything that I have done, and in fact, I will probably not get married again. That does not mean that I will never have sex again.
Sexual feelings are a normal part of a person, but there is nothing wrong with waiting, either.
2007-03-18 19:40:27 · answer #7 · answered by kmf77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did make that mistake But I don't dwell on the memory of them.My husband knows about the things in my past I don't bring anything up so he doesn't ever throw them in my face.I do feel it would have been nice to save myself for my husband .Also studies do show that woman and men alike that are save them self for marriage the the marriage is a lot more stable and the percentage to stay married are a lot higher.Not having sex before marriage also lowers the risk of an STD and unplanned pregnancy.
2007-03-17 00:42:25 · answer #8 · answered by anntanner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first time, at 16, was a laughable one. I rarely think about that. There is usually an emotional attachment to the first time and you'll probably remember that one. The one I remember the most is a 2 year relationship I had at 19. We are still friends. I'm 63 and she's 60.
2007-03-11 04:41:33 · answer #9 · answered by reinformer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had pre-marital sex and I am married now(not the same guy), I never put that much weight on my virginity other than I would know when the right time was, I lost my virginity to my first love who I was with for 2years before we had sex, but regardless I would of always remembered him because I was on love with him- If you feel your virginity is that scared-then keep it because will more than likely regret not saving yourself.
2007-03-11 06:40:28 · answer #10 · answered by sss_1122 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋