i have a feeling that the reason he wants to seperate is b/c he wants to see what else is out there. we got married young and i have had two kids in the past yr. one is 9mo and the other is 20mo. my body is no longer in the shape it was in and i done think he is phyisically attracted to me anymore. he says he is but i can see it in his face. he wants to be by himself and see if there are any other girls out there that would want him or put up with his crap. i love him but is it worth the heart ache?
2007-03-10 18:01:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is all too familiar. You are not the only female with a young guy making babies and the young guy not knowing what to do with himself after.
If you have family, whoever is able to look after you and help you, get away from him and show this young baby maker that he is not what he thinks he is.
I don't know what kind of resources you have available to you such as your family and his family but you need to use everything that you have to help you with your kids.
Admit to your family that you made a mistake by commiting yourself to this guy too soon and that you need their help.
Let all the key individuals know about your situation with this guy because he will not like everyone getting into his business he realize what's going on and what he is doing to you.
Maybe, he will become a man and mature and rise above his adolescent mentality.
Talk to someone please. seek help
2007-03-10 18:38:23 · answer #1 · answered by Big P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are a funny breed that us woman will never understand why they do the things that they do. I would let him go, they say that the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence until you get their and then it looks greener on the side they were on in the first place, After kids we all get out of shape and put a few extra pounds on, we can beat ourselves up and don't need any help doing it. But I hope he knows he will have to pay child support when he is gone. I would get the book love must be tough by Gary Smally. It helped me out a great deal, let the cage door open he wants you to beg him not to go, but when you don't it will make him stop and think if your interested in him and in time he will come back but get that book hon
2007-03-11 03:13:44 · answer #2 · answered by celesta_palmer2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be able to stay with someone who was no longer attracted to me. Since you have children, it's a toss-up between whether or not they will suffer more damage being raised by two parents who are no longer in love, or by two separated parents. Either way, it's a tough case. If you think that cheating or infidelity will be in your future if you remain together, I would get out of it and try and make as clean and smooth a break as possible, for the kids.
2007-03-11 03:08:43 · answer #3 · answered by Breez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's seriously saying things like this to you, then he's not worth one more second of your time. Let him go, and forget about him as soon as the door closes on his useless azz. If he felt this way, he shouldn't have gotten married and had children in the first place. That's his OWN fault. Now he wants to change his mind, now that it's too late? Give me an effing break. I'm so sick of hearing this kind of garbage from men. Kick his dumb azz to the curb and move on with your life, and be happy with your kids. A new, better man will come...one who will really care about you and your babies. This guy is a loser, plain and simple.
2007-03-11 06:57:37 · answer #4 · answered by heather_chavous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you something. I'm a 22 year old mother of 2 kids a 4 and 3 year old. my ex husband left me for a much younger girl . And I'm talking much younger. i had my first son in Sept and my second in Feb so like you I had 1 after the other. In the beginning it hurt so much to know that the man I gave my heart to played me the way he did. I would advise you to sit down and talk ,figure out a solution to your problem. Cause Hun, where there is a problem there is a solution.
2007-03-11 03:35:17 · answer #5 · answered by mom of 2 angels 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's going through that stage where he is lacking attention. he is simply not use to sharing you with the kids, and needs you to show him you still love him and want him and need him. he just wants attention and since he's not getting it at home, he wants to separate. the reasons are pretty obvious. it's hard after childbirth to get back in shape. your body will never be the same again, but it can be better. treat yourself special, and treat your husband special. talk to him about it, if you guys separate, you may never be able to rebuild. now is not the time to be giving up on your marriage. he knows that but is probably overwhelmed himself, and confused, and a bit lonely for all the chaos. show him how much you love him.
2007-03-11 03:13:10 · answer #6 · answered by iwondersoiask 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him, and your not happy with your body why not change it? I know it's not easy for some women to get their "before baby" body back but it can be done. But if he really wants to leave there's nothing you can do or change to stop him. Honestly though, much as I love my husband, there's nothing worth the heartache of putting up with crap and being treated bad. I'm sorry for you.
2007-03-11 03:10:29 · answer #7 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who are you kidding. you mean for the sake of making him happy, you would let him be with another woman. ask him how he would feel after you were with another man.
better yet ask you kids how the feel about not having a daddy around. or how you are going to explain that daddy has other kids.
makes no sense. exercise. if you are willing to let him be with someone else why wouldn't you put that energy and time into your relationship. Get in shape. Invent new things to do. Get excited about eachother.
2007-03-11 03:08:17 · answer #8 · answered by Stamping Machine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey, having babies one right after the other is hard on your body. It'll take time to get back into shape. Never let a man make you feel anything less that beautiful and special. If he wants to screw up by letting you go, that's his problem! Running around after 2 little ones is going to have you back into no time and he will be begging to have you back!
2007-03-11 03:07:59 · answer #9 · answered by tara b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can We Save Our Marriage?
- Trapped in a Loveless Marriage
- Why Does Love Fade?
- Is There Reason for Hope?
- Your Marriage Can Be Saved!
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2001/1/8/article_01.htm
Advanced On-site Search (In case a link becomes modified, this can be used.) http://watchtower.org/search/search_e.htm
2007-03-11 03:08:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋