do i leave or try to make it work?

Question

my husband recently told me he wants to seperate. i thought he was just blowing off steam like he always does but he keeps telling me to take the kids and move out. he says that if he doesnt come back to me in 6-12 months i should just forget about him. but tonight i walked in on him playing with himself. ive been a stay at home mom for the past two yrs and i dont know how i will make it with no money or any place to live or anything. . . HELP

Answer 1

I'd stay and since you don't work or have your own income, make him hit the road. I'd consult a lawyer and see what your rights are in your specific state.

Either way, since you have been a stay at home mom, it's up to him to maintain the status quo of paying the bills while things are pending. i.e. he needs to pay the rent/mortgage, car payments, utilities and food while any action is pending in a court whether he likes it or not.

Maybe you can see if he wants to do counseling, it may help him and you really find out what is wrong that he does not want to disclose up front.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Hmm it could be that you cheated and he has to get his head straight.

Or maybe hes just tired of you and the kids and wants to finally fullfill the dreams that he had before you killed them.

Either way, what is your self worth? are you worth more than a woman thats going to wait 6-12 months for a loser that wants his wife and kids out of his house?

Whats him playing with himself got to do with anything, hes a man, and as a man he has more than enough right to do what he needs to do when he needs to do it.

Maybe he met another woman but isnt sure he can get her, but he thinks he can? so hes giving himself some time to work on it. Again what are you worth?

If youre worth more than someone that should wait for a man that needs 6-12 months to decide whether he loves you or not, than pack your **** and move on. Then hit his *** up for child support and whatever else you can get from the guy. Get the kids day care, or call some friends that you probably stopped talking to because this asshat wouldnt let you talk to them anymore. Perhaps family members can give you a place to stay until you get on your feet?

Dont be affraid to call people that you stopped talking to because of the relationship, just explain things, if theyre real friends they'll understand.

But if youre not worth all that much, than just wait on your *** with no job and 2 kids until the guy determines he loves you only because he cant bang the new hot chick at work.

Answer 3

What's he thinking? You have the children, he can leave, and pay the rent! That's exactly what the Judge will order when you file for divorce or separation. The Judge is not going to let those kids stare and go homeless-believe me!! As for waiting for him? Yea right! Surprise! After he's been "touched" by other females you may not want him back period! Which I am sure he has already been touched! Sorry....I know this hurts, but it's time to get tough, and get whats yours. A stay at home isn't just nothing you know! You did your part, and it's not YOU who is breaking the commitment! So don't just settle for less, think about you and your kids, because he's going to think about him and his new girl!! Good luck!!

Answer 4

Leave him, and don't wait 6-12 months to see if he wants you. That's ridiculous, especially since you guys have children. Marriage is not a game. File for divorce BEFORE he does. He will have to help financially support you and the children because you have spent your life being a stay-at-home wife and mother and he has practically thrown you out on the streets. Actually, make him leave. Where does he get off thinking he can just throw his wife and kids out of their own home? You have a very good case to divorce him and take as much of his worth as possible.

Answer 5

If he doesnt come back in 6-12 months then forget about him?! Thats crazy, hes giving himself that much time to see how he feels, hes stringing you along. Leave him, there are many women who make it after being with out work for a while, dont wait for him just leave hes not worth it, he sounds like he could care less about you or your kids.

Answer 6

Did your husband say why he wants to separate? Have you two gone to talk with a marriage counselor or someone else? Were there problems that you knew of or is this out of the blue? I can only imagine how hard it is to hear something like this. If you do separate I would tell your husband that he needs to move out and he still has to support you and the kids. He still has a responsibility to uphold. He can't leave you high and dry. I hope it works out. Good luck.

Answer 7

he is probably cheating but maybe not either way you need to find a job and then have him kicked out by a restraining order if you can if not then go ahead and move who wants to be with someone that doesn't want to be with them. Thankgod he is saying take the kids but the first thing i would do after my job even before the apartment i would hire a pi. that way if he is cheating he won't get to have you as a back up in 6 mos because you will know the truth and you deserve the truth. he's only looking out for him when he says six mos crap thats if the life he is planning for HIMSELF doesn't work out! you'll make it.

Answer 8

Look at what you just told us. He told YOU to move out with your children, and then basically hang around for 6-12 months. Seriously hon, take those kids, and get out. There is help out there, find out your rights, see a lawyer, find a support group. Get your information together and go. Why on earth should you put your entire life on hold for nearly a year while he runs around playing the single man and having fun and ditching his responsibilites. Look at yourself in the mirror, tell yourself you have WAY too much respect for yourself to be treated like this. Get organised and get out. Make him be responsible and pay support and go and get YOUR life back from this very spoilt and selfish excuse for a man.

Answer 9

You caught him having an affair with ... himself?
Marriage councilling is cheaper than breaking up ... and so much easier emotionally.
He sounds as though there is is something he doesn't like. Could be his expectations are un-realistic. Talk to someone and be prepared to hear that you could adjust, too, Michelle.
If he asked you to wait 6-12 months, he is not committed to leaving you for good

Answer 10

You've got to try your best to make it work. Do whatever you can to exhaust every effort to find a solution to your problems. Find out what he thinks the problems are and try to fix them in a loving way. Men play with themselves quite often and you shouldn't be intimidated by that. Maybe you should go to a hotel and give him a weekend to himself to blow off steam. Do your best to secure yourself financially and consider marriage counseling for the both of you. good luck to you and your children.