He worked all day, got home at 9:00 and left to got o a bar with Neighbors. He doesn't usually but more than me, since we have 2 kids (5 months and 3 yrs old). He works hard and he is a good father. The thing that bothers me is that he says he's going to a bar in town for a few beers and he's gone for 4 hours at a bar a few towns over, isn't that a bit much? I also get really worried about him driving drunk or whoever is driving and I can't sleep. Also, my son is coming to our bed asking where Daddy is! How do you and your spouse plan these things, does one go out with out the other.
2007-03-10 17:18:45 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He didn't drive this time, but the neighbor is drinking and he is going to drive him home!
2007-03-10 17:31:38 · update #1
I would absolutely be upset if my husband went to a bar. If he wants a beer he can drink them at home. Where there will be no ladies hitting on him, no bar fights , and no drunk driving.
2007-03-10 17:40:43 · answer #1 · answered by tooyoung2bagrannybabe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the key to a good marriage is for both parties to have a break once in a while. In fact my wife is out now while I am watching the kids. I will go out later in the week. IT's all about taking turns and helping each other out. Don't forget to go out on a date also. You two need some time together without the kids.
I would be concerned about the drunk driving though. Hopefully your husband and the neighbors are smart enough to have a designated driver. He has a family he has to think about. I hope this helps. Good luck.
2007-03-11 01:43:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chill out, you said yourself he worked hard all day, give him a break.
So he wants to have a few beers? Let him, its got nothing to do with hooking up he just wants to unwind at the end of the day.
If you start nagging him too much you will push him away, then where will it leave you?
You have to find a fair level where you can both be happy, perhaps share your concerns (your only valid one to me seems to be the concern over drinking and driving). Explain why you don't like him going to a bar so far away and would rather it be one in your town.
Then, have a drink yourself and relax for a moment.
2007-03-11 01:30:52 · answer #3 · answered by Nick F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, or we get a sitter and try to go together actually. It's very seldom that he goes out without me. Your right about drinking and driving! Why didn't he ride with the neighbor? If he went out more than you, I would wonder. So, maybe you two could talk, and decide to go out just with each other if that's what you want? Keep the communication open!!
2007-03-11 01:29:50 · answer #4 · answered by sue d 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im 20yrs old and 8/ months pregnant with my second child me my kids father have been seperated for 6 months now he was working out of town and all the guys would go to the bar he asked if he could go, (i trusted and loved him very much) so i agreed, he now lives there in the town he was workin at with a woman 10 yrs older than him whom he met at the bar...becareful i would hate for anyone to feel all the pain i have and are feeling...
2007-03-11 03:10:15 · answer #5 · answered by nahdya21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex-husband used to and at first no problems, but eventually it led to more drinking. He then quit going to bars, but still hung out with his friends and drank every evening. It gets old and you will get bitter, so nip this in the bud quickly. Plan evenings out together before you end up in divorce court battling over what night he gets to call the kids, when really you don't care. Neither party needs to be out in the bars, unless you do it together. You get married to get out of this scene and you don't go back when you have children you need their father at home.
2007-03-11 01:26:39 · answer #6 · answered by Shanna h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The essence of a good relationship is communication. So communicate. Tell him what your fears are. Tell him you are concerned and ask him for his feelings. Your concerns are your concerns and they are valid for you. If your H can't answer your concerns then it is time to consider marriage counseling. Ask him to go with you to counseling. Sometimes for men the reality of marriage responsibilities and children are overwhelming and they seek relief with their buddies, or somewhere else. The answer, of course, is to work at improving the primary relationship. But he has to feel that way also. If the two of you are on separate paths, talk to him about it and how you would like to get together with him on the same path. This is important.
2007-03-11 01:34:57 · answer #7 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be discussing this with your husband. Let him know that this looks like he's doing something wrong, and that you are worried when he's out drinking and trying to drive home at all times of night.
2007-03-11 01:26:06 · answer #8 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
damn right i would be upset~! as his wife i'd like to be with him not have him go off alone to a bar like some single male sl#t. Married people should go to places like that as a couple, otherwise it just invites trouble. And since he has kids he needs to think of his responsibilities at home, you're stuck at home all day with his kids, doesn't he think YOU deserve a break to and to go out with him like i'm sure you used to?
2007-03-11 03:04:28 · answer #9 · answered by nanabooboo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your story sounds so familiar, I also have two children that are three years difference, My husband eventually got a third DUI, and that is the better part of the story..............sorry cuz your not going to want to hear this, but we are now divorced, and my son still asks for him......
2007-03-11 01:36:58 · answer #10 · answered by Skinz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋