I am 5 months pregnant with a baby boy. I feel like my boyfriend is becoming distant because in our previous pregnancy I lost the baby. Therefore I feel like with this pregnancy he's not showing any signs of joy and we're always arguing and things like that. Everything is just going bad between us and he says he cannot get over the first baby. What am I to do? Please give advice.
2007-03-10 17:07:35 · 8 answers · asked by mizva2bk 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
He may not want to be hurt again, but it shouldn't be causing arguments between you. Think it might have been better to wait a while and use protection and maybe get married first?
Anyways, just realize he is not healed yet from a painful loss and that shows that he cares. He will likely come around when this sounds more promising or when the baby is born if he truly does want one. Sounds like he is sensitive as you would want him to be. Just not good timing so he can enjoy a new light yet.
2007-03-10 17:26:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing. I'm sorry your boyfriend is being so unsupportive. I'm sure you've tried talking to him. Just explain to him that even if he is sad about the other baby who didn't make it, this little guy WILL and he is his son! You can also let him know that most miscarriages are due to fetal abnormalities that would not allow them to live outside the womb, so he shouldn't feel any guilt about loving THIS baby...there was nothing the two of you did wrong, there was probably a chromosome abnormality. Ask him if the other baby had lived, would he love both babies equally or would he love the first one more? He should say he'd love them equally...then let him know that he needs to show that love to you and your current baby. Loving this baby isn't betraying the one you lost! Also let him know that you will tell your son one day about the other baby you lost so that the child will know that he had an older brother or sister, and you will all be able to mourn the baby together...but still celebrate the life of those who made it! Tell him he can being showing his love by being kinder to YOU because right now the baby inside you can feel your moods, and when you're stressed, the baby's heart rate can increase and make him feel the effects of your mood. Good luck, I know I rambled a bit but I really hope I helped! And congratulations!
2007-03-10 17:14:45 · answer #2 · answered by grayhare 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar problem like that with my husband. We had a miscarriage on our first baby, and when I ended up pregnant again, he was not to sure about everything. I think what really pushed him away was thinking what if it happens again? He was really looking forward to being a dad,and then that whole thing happened. We use to fight about everything and he had even accused me of cheating on him, which I didn't. But after I was 7-8 months along, I had an ultrasound done and he got to see that the baby was just fine, so then he really started coming around. So from personal experience, he might be withdrawing thinking he don't wanna get excited and let down again, because it is real hard on men as well as women. So when he comes around, which sooner or later he will, you will both have a chance to talk things out and he should be fine. Its just getting through the nervousness first. So I hope I was able to help you, and I wish you all the luck in the world!! Congratulations!!
2007-03-10 17:21:37 · answer #3 · answered by sneekygirl69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all congrats on ur pregnancy.
2nd of all as long as you are happy then thats all that matters. Most of the time they are just very scared and nervous abt being a father and once the baby is born his feelings might change. I have seen a lot of fathers turn out like that after the baby is born ( my kids father was the same way and now he cant live without them!) I can't speak for your boyfriend though we can only hope that is what will happen.
If not forget him! Your baby will make you stronger and the love u will have for your son when he is born is going to be so overwhelming and you will gain the most wonderful feeling in the world.. love from your child. That beats anything in the world. Its too bad he cant share ur happiness with this though it would make your preg a lot more enjoyable im sure. Best wishes and good luck! :)
2007-03-10 17:17:00 · answer #4 · answered by melissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's probably still grieving over the loss of your first baby and having another child so soon probably didn't give him enough time to heal his heart. he's probably trying to not get his hopes up in case something happens in this pregnancy and is preparing for the worst. talk to him and let him know that you understand how he feels about the baby you both lost and that despite what happened you both were blessed to get a second chance to bring this baby boy in the world and that he's going to have 2 great parents. also tell him that you both won't forget about the one that you lost. it will always be with the both of you in your heart and soul and will celebrate the good memories you have of the one you both lost.
2007-03-10 17:15:49 · answer #5 · answered by basic324 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is probably just afraid of it happening again. try to get it out of him what is really wrong. maybe him talking about it will make him feel better about the baby. he is becoming distant because he is afraid of connecting with the baby and being disappointed and hurt again. jsut try to understand how he feels.
2007-03-10 17:17:01 · answer #6 · answered by ProudMommy_1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a delicate issue, and i think you should talk to a trained professional ( a cousnelor ) about the best way to handle the siutatoin.
2007-03-10 17:32:48 · answer #7 · answered by lady26 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he'll warm up once he has that tiny little baby in his arms!
2007-03-10 17:15:11 · answer #8 · answered by tara b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋