My boyfriend is an American, and he comming to asia to meet me and marry me, and he wants my dad to give us his blessing cause he knows it important to me to have my dad blessing, please advise.
2007-03-10 16:44:25 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he is meeting you for the 1st time and marrying you???.. I dont know..
2007-03-10 16:47:01 · answer #1 · answered by bebekaychic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you are aware, but there is a common custom in Asia for when a man wants to marry a woman. The man must present his material worth before the woman's parents. He must prepare bank statements, investments (stocks, mutual funds, etc...), real estate holdings (house or apartment) and explain what his career path is. His career path means what kind of job he has, and what he has planned for the future. He also needs to show your parents his educational background.
I know about this because I went through this with my wife's family. I spent a lot of time preparing everything. I showed them exactly how much time it would take to pay off my house, and even how many years I would have to work until I could retire. I did all of this because I wanted to show everyone that I was a good man and that I would make a good husband.
I know it sounds like a huge amount of work, but if he is really in love with you and wishes to spend the rest of his life with you, then I think that this is a reasonable request.
Plus, it will help you to feel more secure in your decision to marry this man. After all, you will be living VERY FAR from your family and friends. He will have to be very supportive of you, both emotionally and financially. It is going to be difficult for you to adjust to a completely different life. And you will not have your friends and family there to help you.
If he does not like what I have said, then I think you should take some time to consider why he would refuse to show your family how he intends to take care of you.
2007-03-11 08:33:20 · answer #2 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're meeting for the first time? Obviously this isn't an arranged marriage. Before he even gets to your dad, have y'all covered the basics? Do you practice the same religion? If you don't, and you have children, what religion will you raise them in? What's his fave color? Does he know yours? Middle names? What's he like when someone cuts him off in traffic? What are you like when you have a fight with your mother? Can you cook? Can he clean? Does it matter who sleeps on which side of the bed? How do you both behave in restaurants when the waitress/waiter makes a mistake? Maybe silly questions, but you'd be surprised what ruins a relationship.
If you've covered all that, then he should probably start with Mr. so and so, I love your daughter... or something like that.
2007-03-18 22:01:48 · answer #3 · answered by miz_booty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should just tell your Dad that he loves you very much and wants only to give you total happiness and the best life he can give you, then ask if he can have his blessing in asking you to marry him.
2007-03-11 00:48:42 · answer #4 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow wow WOW!!! marriage isn't two post cards, 4 e-mails and meet me, marry me!!! you better slow the hey down and think about it. What are either of you thinking? If I were your dad you would NOT get my blessing. Marraiage is HARD to make work, add to that culture and language barriers and then not knowing each other that well too and you're talking disaster!!
2007-03-18 19:08:30 · answer #5 · answered by Gardner? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think that can really come from you . you know best what your dad would want your husband to be like. if he is wrapped up in money then he wants to hear how your bf is going to make a ton of money . if he is religious then he wants to hear that .
what really is important is that your bf tell the truth . you should really consider what your dad and mom have to say about this guy . they are often good at seeing things that the person in love is not seeing because of the rose coloured glasses
2007-03-11 00:50:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most countries it is important to show respect for the parents of the bride. If your fiance is well travelled and well educated he will understand that, if not you must write to explain how important this respect is. It will help him be respected in return, and will ease the family acceptance of your situation. Wish you much happiness, (my son is marrying a woman from Japan.)
2007-03-18 02:28:59 · answer #7 · answered by Tinribs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just make sure he acts like he usually does around you when he is around your dad. Don't let him put on an act of being a very polite gentleman just because he is around your dad. You have to let your dad see what he is REALLY like. Then your dad can decide if he wants you to marry him or not
2007-03-11 00:49:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To have the blessing of the parent(s) simply means that they realize the love you have and wish you the best as a couple!
2007-03-11 00:47:45 · answer #9 · answered by Marsha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should just tell him that the two of you want to get married and he wants his approval and blessing.
2007-03-11 00:47:11 · answer #10 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is part of your tradition and part of your families values, it is respectful and nice of him to meet you and your family and ask your dad for your hand. Good luck to you both.
2007-03-18 13:35:35 · answer #11 · answered by lasman37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋