My mom (late 60's) is always confrontational with my future wife. Always takes things personal and feels that she's being attacked.
I think the main issue is that she's sad and frustrated that she's losing her son.
I am the youngest of 5 children but my mom speaks to none of them but me. she's had various falling outs with each of them over the years and while my mom and I also have our disagreements i have to be there for her.
My finance wants to constantly defend me to my mother and that some times gets my mom going even more.
I would like them to get along but most importantly i just want peace...
any suggestions?
2007-03-10 16:32:21 · 7 answers · asked by RainKing 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm 37 and male.
BTW, i am getting married no matter what and it's not going to change what i do. i just would like to find a way to put this behind us without causing a big deal. i want my mother at the wedding and i dont want to push too much and end up having her not come. if i have to push her to treat my wife with respect i'd rather do that after the wedding so i dont lose the opportunity to have her at the wedding.
2007-03-10 16:48:51 · update #1
If ur fiancee is willing and patient, she can work out the solution with passage of time.
2007-03-10 17:34:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife to be needs to not fight your battles -period! Your not a baby, and it's your mother! She needs to show your mom respect, just like you should show her parents respect. Now, if your mom was putting her nose where it shouldn't be, since it's your mom, you should handle it. Your right, your mom probably is feeling bad she is losing her last child, even though you are older, it's just a mom thing. Explain this to your wife to be. If she loves you, she will want to understand, and want to get along with the family. It's called a future, that you ALL will share. So think before you ALL are speaking so freely, feelings may get hurt, and you aren't even married yet!!! Gee, your mom is in her late 60's, your soon to be wife isn't going to have to spend a life time with her!!!! Shame on her!!!
2007-03-11 01:22:38 · answer #2 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom has had you for 37 years, time to let go and let you do your thing which is getting married. YOU have to tell mom thanks for all that you did for me, I'll still be here but I am marrying a woman that will now be #1. If she has had previous falling outs with other siblings, it is due to her over-controlling nature. Better nip this one in the bud, bud or future wife will be a memory. Then mom will sooth your hurt feelings like she did when you skinned your knee at 5 years old.
2007-03-11 01:31:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know something? You have only ONE mother in your life and you can have 10 wives along the way. Not knowing how to manage your mother is your own issue as an adult. Not sure why you have to pick someone that makes things worse, that's for you to sort it out. You willingly set up World War 3.
Based on what you say, you are already painting your mother in bad light in favor of your future wife. Only you know if that is fair.
2007-03-11 00:48:14 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has she hated all his past relationships? The three of you need to set down and try to work it out. Your B/F needs to take the lead here. He needs to explain to his mom that this is going to happen whether she likes it or not. You guys want her involved and to be a part of your family, but if she chooses not to join in, things are going forward. You and he must stay strong and on the same page, on this subject. Because mom may start subversive measures to drive a wedge between you to
2007-03-11 00:40:26 · answer #5 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom is the same way. I always tell her that I feel sorry for the woman that marries my brother. Chances are you're mom will never see the light no matter how much you try to convince her. Good Luck!
2007-03-11 01:12:48 · answer #6 · answered by Sara M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't say how old you are...but at some point in your life you have to do what is right for YOU and not for your mother. if you truly love this woman and are going to marry her, there is nothing your mother should be able to do about it. my mother in law didn't want my husband to marry me either, and we have been very happily married for more than 12 years now, and i no longer talk to her. my husband still talks to her every few months but otherwise we don't have contact. so i guess my point is do what is right for YOU.
2007-03-11 00:40:46 · answer #7 · answered by BJC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋