My husband and I have been married for 3 yrs. We have a son together. He has a son from a previous marriage. He still has pictures of her, the wedding, and his wedding ring. Is this ok? I haven't said anything, but I am curious to know what others think. Thanks!!!
2007-03-10 16:09:15 · 23 answers · asked by metalwife 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Of course it's OK! He's keeping them for his son from that marriage.
I don't have kids from my 1st marriage but I still have the photos because my parents paid a mint for that wedding (the dress, the wedding, the flowers, the reception, champagne, etc.) and I looked gorgeous in the photos so, yeah, I have them. I may PhotoShop the ex out of them one of these days, LOL! But I have them it doesn't mean the jerk means a thing to me. However, there are people in the photos that do mean something to me like 2 aunts that came a long way to be there.
When I was first reading the headline to this story, I thought your new parnter might want you to ditch the photos you had of your 1st wedding and was going to tell you that he's being unreasonable if he wanted you to get rid of them. Sure, he shouldn't FLAUNT them (e.g. put a wedding photo up in your living room or bedroom) but his son's feelings are part of this issue, too, so he should hang onto that stuff for his kid's sake.
2007-03-10 16:12:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is okay, they are a part of his life. You married a man with a "past" and probably has some good memories of days gone by. Just because a couple get's divorced doesn't mean that everything in the marriage was rotten. Since he paid for the wedding set why shouldn't have have HIS wedding ring. It's HIS.
2007-03-11 00:15:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Life is a strange bed-fellow, and at times, can mystify us.
Have a chat to your husband, ask him without putting him in an uncomfortable position. This will stop him from being evasive or feel the need to obscure the truth.
Why did he divorce his 1st wife?
Being previously married, and having a son, is a life time bond, that cannot be removed.
It was and is an integral part of his life.
Despite them not being still married, the divorce could have been amicable and he is still concerned about her.
He might not realise your feelings on this matter.
2007-03-11 01:30:37 · answer #3 · answered by calexico 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My thought is that it is perfectly natural for him to have the pictures. I was going to say before I read on your message that if you have children keep all pictures (for the childs future) and future conversation between you and that child in the event of a tragedy. Wedding ring possibly the same thing, saving it for his child to do with. Obviously, he didn't need the money to hawk it (good sign). If there were no kids my opinion would be one-zero pictures of the ex (because your future kids are going to find them, mine did). Anyway, fun question.
2007-03-11 00:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter what we think, what counts is what you need for your marriage to be happy. You should sit your husband down and talk to him about how you feel and ask him if there's a specific reason why he would keep these things from a previous marriage. Ask him how would he feel if you would do this to him from a previous guy in your life. Let him know how they can affect your marriage, and what could be done to prevent any negative actions.
2007-03-11 00:20:50 · answer #5 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I’m assuming that these things are put away and he’s not taking the pictures out and staring at them every day.
If it were my hubby, it wouldn’t bother me at all, even if he didn’t have a child with his ex. The fact that he kept them doesn’t mean he still has feelings for this woman. But that’s a part of his past, his memories. Why would I want to ask him to destroy it?
2007-03-11 00:22:21 · answer #6 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends if they are hanging on the wall i would worry about them but if it is all boxed up in a closet or just photos in a room that his son stays in i think it is OK. Some day his son may want these things as a memento of his family and he will appreciate that you were OK with this.
2007-03-11 00:19:43 · answer #7 · answered by bubbles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is part of his past, don't you keep pictures and momentos from things in your past, I have my ex husbands wedding ring. I have mine as well. I am currently engaged. It is part of my past like a memory. I keep them to remind me of the lesons I have learned and will probably keep them forever. It does not mean that I have feelings for my ex, just that I remember. Keep quiet or maybe ask him if he is keeping them for a particular reason. He may open up to you in a new way. Do not allow him to feel as though you are pressuring him to get rid of them.
2007-03-11 00:16:13 · answer #8 · answered by twysty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely he should have the pics, they both should. But only for the kids. His wedding ring, maybe to given it to his son eventually
2007-03-11 01:39:23 · answer #9 · answered by fayebrah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes if you have children with that ex spouse. If there are no children involved than I would say no. But, those things are needed for the kids of that marriage.
2007-03-11 01:53:55 · answer #10 · answered by tooyoung2bagrannybabe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋