how can i make this work with my childs mother?

Question

we just had a boy and she was a single mother til i came into the pic, we just moved in together and the boys are stressing us both out (age 2 and 2 months), I love her and I want to stay with her but we never get any time together anymore i feel like my life is going down, its almost are if we are only partners, I work 12 hour shifts so i barely get any time anyway when i do get time for us shes tired from taking care of them by herself all day, what can i do to see some light i am stressed all the way out!! help me

her son is still in diapers and won't give up the binky how can we get those to stop this is just added stress, and he won't take no for an answer, the father isn't in his life but I feel like I have no control over him

Also I am a young father I'm 22 and my girl is 21

Also to clarify I moved out of my apartment to move in with her and her parents until we get our new apartment in 2 months, her parents love me but i feel like **** I'm living with someones parents! and with 2 kids! I've lived on my own since I was 17, is she bringing me downhill?

Answer 1

oh honey, listen it will be okay. I have been there. I was married at 19 and we had kids and divorced by 22. I met someone kind of like you we got married and had two kids. We have a totally of 4 kids. We do still struggle, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. The older the kids get it is a lot easier. Sit down and talk about how you can change your life style, and then follow through. What you are going through now will build great character. You will not feel the butterflies you once did, but they do come back. This will only make your love stronger. Right now the most important thing is to stay positive it will really change the environment. You and girlfriend are the most important thing because children feed off of you. If you are not okay they are not okay. I disagree with what the first person said about you are not number one. Children are very important, but in order to raise them right you need to be okay. When I am not doing well my children will act out. That is fact. Nurturing your relationship with your girlfriend is how they learn to develope relationships.

Answer 2

parenting is one of the hardest jobs you will ever have but do not give up> you have to remember you are not number one anymore the kids are and it is a big adjustment but youcan do it, try to have someone come over and watch the kids so you and her can go out for dinner and have some adult time together.Your life isn't going down hill it's called being a parent it will get better in time just be there for each other is what counts the most.It will get better if you make an effort i'm sure it is hard on her looking after both children i'm sure she would like a break as well
good luck to the both of you!

Answer 3

Hey I think when you have a night off rent a room and suprise her before you take her to the room find some time to go there by yourself and set it up really nice buy some roses candles bubble bath sope....put some roses on the bed on the floor ect... light some candles run yous both a bubble bath get some strawberrys and champain make it real romantic to to make it as stess free as possible or you could always get a babbysitter get the babies out of the house have a nice dinner just the two of you rent a movie and just relax give each other some massages have fun have a growin up moment..........................

Answer 4

it sound like both of you really need to talk to someone about
what going on.it hard to deal with the fact that there are
small children, and a father that not in the picture , etc
but if you love this girl then time to put everything on the
line. if you dont this relationship will not last.

Answer 5

I'ts time for you to grow up and face your responsibilties. She has your child now, please do the right thing and work things out. I wish people would realize that having kids is a life time commitment. I wish I knew that 18 years ago.