I'm a transsexual. I've been called a "freak" an "it", snubbed by the lesbian communities that once thought I was "a cute baby butch" but now as a "man" they think I'm the plague. Gay guys LOVE me till they find out I don't have the appropriate "package". I see people for how they REALLY are and that they are NOT as open minded as they claim. I try not to let other people affect me, because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter...but over time, hearing it all the time, gets me depressed. What should I do?
2007-03-10 15:14:08 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I had a similiar experience with the lesbian community when I came out as trans (I am an intersexed person as well, so double whamy). I was under the illusion that the mainstream gay and lesbian community would be supportive of difference.,. little did I know.
Firstly, it is difficult when words become weapons, but seriously dude, the only way for those words to demean you, if you let them affect you. Some ways of doing this, is to focus on finding strong trans role models and by goining on and off line, trans support groups. There are a few on myspace and on yahoo groups and I would send you the links but my puter is acting up at the moment.
Try www.myspace.com/gender_schemender, and there is also another group called Gender ****. Once you realise that there are heaps of other trans guys out there and build up a network of people for a sense of community, those demeaning words will fade away as background noise. =)
2007-03-10 23:06:11 · answer #1 · answered by Orditz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a M-F so take what I have to say w/a grain of salt. As for the gay guys, it doesn't take long to realize that gay guys are still guys - that means a great percentage of them are shallow, regardless of sexual orientation. Keep this in mind - its really hard to find a decent guy no matter who you are. The lesbians? Oddly, I think the "snub" is sort of acceptance of your change - your not a female anymore. I'm guessing here that it might be worthwhile to try a straight woman - or be open to anyone - its the person that counts. Depression, yea I fight it too. But the demeaning comments - its just stupidity articulated by people that don't know what they're talking about. You know yourself - and that's something to be proud of. I know it sounds strange, but I've really liked every transman that I've met - sexy, masculine w/o a lot of the macho bs. Hand in there - there is a lid for every pot!
2007-03-10 16:44:48 · answer #2 · answered by confused (again) 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I live in a really conservative town, and gays/lesbians are treated like that. Recently, three billboards nearby posted these huge ads advertising services to make "homosexuals" straight. I'm a lesbian, and even though I don't believe in that crap, it still wears me down. I've never met a transsexual (that I know of, at least), so I guess I have limited experience in knowing whether I'm really open-minded about that or not, but I would certainly hope I would be.
I guess it's hard for people, gay or straight, to separate someone's physical appearance from their true sex. Plus, if someone hasn't had the experience of feeling trapped in a body that doesn't reflect their true, internal gender, then it would be that much more difficult for them to empathize and understand. Is there some sort of support group for transsexuals in your area? Being around other people who have had your experiences would help you deal with those who can't or won't.
Good luck! I admire you for being true to yourself and not giving into the prejudice of others.
2007-03-10 16:21:14 · answer #3 · answered by kacey 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry people have treated you badly. My sister is gay and I have a huge amount of friends in the gay community. Please understand that not all of us straight people feel like this. I don't. God made you, and he also made your mind. I understand true gay people can't be made straight. It is who you are. Sometimes I think God puts people on Earth to serve as his own personal angels. But I think he only picks the strongest ones for the job. Perhaps he is using you to educate the ignorant and in time more people will come to accept you and your community. Because humans need to learn to love eachother despite our differences. I'm sure he will reward you in Heaven someday, for the pain you have had to suffer to make the world a better place. Keep your head up and remember your are MY hero. :o)
2007-03-10 16:33:57 · answer #4 · answered by Destiny 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know its hard. I have been put down because of my physical attribute. It's been very depressing and now, I am determined to move on and let the world talk crap. Up front, I find you handsome. I hope my compliment does not offend you. I love every one, no matter who it is. I learn to be tolerant love everyone. Thought I would let you know that
Stay positive and brush off the negativity that surrounds you. Life is too short and make the best of it.
2007-03-10 18:05:32 · answer #5 · answered by Aldo 78522 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find more positive people, places, things to do. Take come time to decompress each day and release those negative emotions. Avoid the negative influnces in your life when you should.
2007-03-12 21:54:09 · answer #6 · answered by carora13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋