My husband and I have been separated for 1 year, married for 5. He informed me last year when we first separated and this year that he wanted a divorce "sometime in the near future". I clearly stated to him that I don't want a divorce and would not help pay for one since I feel we can work out the problems in our marriage. He refuses counseling and was adament about divorcing and offered to pay for it. Since we don't have children, I completed the divorce petition and sent it to him to try to make things easier. After he received the petition, he became very angry. He now states that I should be responsible for half because I was partly responsible for our marriage problems (which I am). I refused again stating he if he wanted a divorce he should pay for it. I know that he loves me and I don't think he really wants a divorce. I know that there isn't a third party involved. Should I wait this out? What's really going on? I could use a male point of view.
2007-03-10 14:29:28 · 21 answers · asked by T J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe he's still in love with you but can't stand your nagging. Are you willing to change your attitude? Maybe he wanted a baby. Can you bear one? Have a heart to heart talk with him and make a compromise. I think your marriage is still saveable.
2007-03-10 14:43:36 · answer #1 · answered by Super_Noypi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definately would NOT ASSUME that there is a 3rd party. There MAY be, but acting like you KNOW there is will only make it all harder. Especially on yourself. I do agree with counseling. If it absolutely comes down to a definate divorce, I wouldn't agree to pay for it on the grounds that you didn't want it. You would rather work it out. That should almost always be the first step in a marriage.
2007-03-10 14:41:05 · answer #2 · answered by Jamie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is always a third party. by the way, you're husband sounds like an a$$; he should grow up and make up his mind whether he wants the divorce or not. Good Luck!
2007-03-10 14:34:42 · answer #3 · answered by xodfba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a male but it sounds like he just wants everything on his term's...have you been seeing each other and having relations during the year of separation?...maybe he just wants his freedom.....only you can decide if he is worth waiting for.....I don't know him
2007-03-10 14:35:03 · answer #4 · answered by Erinyes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well refusing someone a divorce wont make them love you anymore, but agreeing to it will certainly make them wonder if they do, and if you agree to it without any objections, they may feel you don't care anyway? You need to sit this guy down, and try to talk to him, explain that you love him enough to let him be, but that its only your love for him that's making you agree. Make that clear and then maybe he will open his heart to you and explain whats really behind all this. Its a very complex situation, but its a good start. Good luck x
2007-03-10 14:41:17 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should ask him if he's willing to go to counseling and if he's not then I would grant him the divorce but not pay a single cent.
2007-03-10 14:32:35 · answer #6 · answered by stephaniemdwyer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something you wrote made him realize that he had been had so he didn't want to be a fool and pay for it.
Question is whether he can forget his anger to get back with you. Frankly, the chance isn't good.
2007-03-10 15:00:39 · answer #7 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband read this and said that he believes that it's over. Although you may think that your husband still loves you. I don't think he does (neither does my husband). You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally and make you happy.
2007-03-10 14:39:13 · answer #8 · answered by Sara M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and take responsibility for your marriage problems that you brought about!
then ask him to do the same.
Then after a real heart to heart, you should be able to find middle ground.
Now remember if you had an affair your pushing a cart full of apples up hill and it my get away form you now and again but keep trying.
Then get to a marriage counselor even if you have to drag him there after hitting him in the head when his back is turned!
Good Luck to you and hope you can work it out!
2007-03-10 14:38:41 · answer #9 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Men do nothing without having to, there probly is a third party, and if you don't want a divorce wait it out and it may make the third party leave. Sorry!
2007-03-10 14:34:42 · answer #10 · answered by shocker83_fear_me23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋