2007-03-10 14:01:36 · 6 answers · asked by skingirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well this is tricky... My fiance and I are kinda like that... I don't know if I want one or not and he does... luckily, he has told me that he will be able to live with the fact that I don't want any if that's what I decide. Everyone keeps telling me that you might change your mind as you get older, even years into the relationship. How long have you and your husband been married? Perhaps you should wait so many years and see how you feel then. Tell your husband that right now you don't want any kids and feel like you never will. Explain to him that you want to wait 5 or how ever many years and see how you feel then, but make sure you point out that you may still not want any kids. It's tough, but don't have a kid just to make him happy. You might end up resenting him or the child since you didn't want one in the first place.
Good Luck! I hope everything works out well!
2007-03-10 14:09:06 · answer #1 · answered by jlg_jdf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You two really should have cleared that particular issue up before you got married. Did it somehow not come up? I don't even know how to help you here. You two just need to spend a lot of time thinking and talking about how strongly you feel about this issue, possibly with the help of a marriage counselor if you can't work it out on your own. Good luck!
2007-03-10 14:07:46 · answer #2 · answered by ckmclements 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is SO totally something you should have discussed before marriage, because it is one of a very small handful of what I call "deal breakers". However, given that you are married, that's water under the bridge and you must now deal with the situation as it exists.
I am of the firm opinion that nobody who does not want a child should have one. You must tell your husband you don't want them, and you must be very clear in this statement so that there is no misunderstanding. However, when you do tell him this, please be prepared for the worst. It was morally wrong of you not to tell him this before you married him, because having children is a normally-accepted outgrowth of marriage. So, when you tell him, you must be prepared to accept whatever he decides about the future of your relationship.
2007-03-10 14:12:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could be a devastating choice if your not careful for your marriage. My hubby wanted a child with myself as well when we were married but I informed him that the children I had from my prior marriage was all that I wanted. After long conversations and many stressful nights he caved and we were married. Good luck..sit and talk to him but don't compromise your own life.
2007-03-10 14:15:04 · answer #4 · answered by Maybe I am a smartass..so what 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So WHY didn't you talk about this BEFORE you got married? In essence now your marriage has been based upon a lie. He wants children and you don't...what IS there to do?
2007-03-10 15:40:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have told him this before you got married. You are not being honest.
2007-03-10 17:39:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋