Hi,
I have been married for 7 months. The day after we got married our problem started. The thing is I am a sick person & I have some medical problems. I told my husband about those things before our wedding & my parents were clear with their family when they came with the proposal. This was an arranged marriage, though we liked each-other before our wedding.
I have so many things to control. My doctors/ my food-habits/my sleeping/ walking........every single details in life I have to maintain otherwise I get sick.
Besides my sickness, I asked one thing from my husband that whereever he will go I will go with him, even if it is for 1 minute.
I am too much honest & staright forward person. Promise keeping is so valuable to me. BUT MY HUSBAND HAVEN'T KEEP HIS PROMISE.
And also he didn't understand how to handle my sickness. 6 whole months he made me suffer & I am so sick right now that I have use a cane to walk & I can't even go out alone without any help. I am at my Parents home.
2007-03-10 13:46:35 · 12 answers · asked by Sasha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I won't mess with you because you are sick. But it is impossible to be with your husband all the time.
The man has to work doesn't he. He has to use the restroom too. You cant be with him every minute. If you do you may smother him and he might get sick of you.
As the old saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder or something like that.
2007-03-10 13:52:26 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it's impossible for you to be with your husband every minute. Learn to depend on yourself a little more, I would think he's probably feeling a little smothered by you.
As for your illness, how informed is he? Does he know how to help take care of you if necessary? Does he know what things he can do to help you? Dealing with chronic illness is very hard on a marriage. You need to do the best you can to keep yourself healthy, and as your husband, he needs to help you do that.
I don't know much about arranged marriages, but I assume there would be some shame in asking for a divorce. If he's not willing to deal with your illness, then let him ask for the divorce, so the blame is on him.
2007-03-10 14:16:46 · answer #2 · answered by ~StepfordWife~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe not only should you see a marriage counselor but also a counselor just for individual help for yourself. 5 1/2 months is not very long to be 'working' on your problems. The mental, verbal and physical abuse have to be discussed in sessions with the counselor and things have to be discussed again and again to show the counselor whether they have improved or not. You have to speak up. You have to assert yourself because if you just coast through these sessions, nothing real will be discussed. Good luck! You're on the right track.
2016-03-16 08:34:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well as you said you were totally clear with your sickness before marriage, then there is no point in staying with a man who is not capable enough to keep you alright, neither he can be with you for sometime. The whole idea of being with him all the time is hard to answer becz at the end of the day he has to go out and work and will be out no matter what!! But yeah when he is back at home he needs to take care of u and needs to be with u most of the time. he just cant skip away from his responsibilites. If he cant take care of u and ur at ur parents now then its better to take a hard decision. talk to him abt it one more time and if he cant change the lifestyle then its better to make ur separate way towards life... instead of sticking to him and making your life hell. At times yes it can bfrustrating to be around your partner but when you have a special case like u then its ridiculous to be out and not caring for u.
wish you luck dear.. and god bless..
Deeps
2007-03-10 18:18:00 · answer #4 · answered by Deeps 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your illness, but it sounds like your husband was not prepared to take care of someone as sick as you. Do both of you a favor and get a divorce. Obviously he does not want to be with you and you need more help than a whiny husband.
2007-03-10 13:53:47 · answer #5 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men really don't no how important a promise is to us women.When you brake a promise we no longer trust you like we once did.But you don't care about that.Your husband is one of the worse there is he knew going in he wasn't going to keep his promise so why make it. He is a very selfish man and only cares about himself you need to get away from him because he doesn't care if you live or die.
2007-03-10 14:47:38 · answer #6 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you blame him? Youve only been married 7months. Thats too short a time for someone to feel so connected that he has to take care of you. Sorry to sound so cruel, but its too much to ask basically a stranger (for all practical purposes) to sacrrifice his life to take care of you. And I dont care how much you like someone, to ask to be with him every minute can really get on anyone's nerves.
2007-03-10 16:04:42 · answer #7 · answered by man_on_the_moon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. Your health in more important. This was explained to him and his family before hand. I am a diabetic. My to be husband knew of this before the marriage. We were married for 6 months when I had an insulin reaction. He told me he wouldn't put up with it and told me I had to take better care of myself. --- I left him. You have to trust the one you are with, if you have an illness. Leave for your health and well being.
2007-03-10 13:53:33 · answer #8 · answered by Drew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have avoided it. anyhow if your husband is a tolerable and have sacrifice in mind he can live: otherwise ask him to marry another and you try to live with your parents or there are many homes with love and affection to help.
2007-03-10 14:20:57 · answer #9 · answered by ar.samy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly u have not elaborated what is the medical problem.if it i cureable or not.many people marry but dont have the patience to take forward the relationship with someone who has a problem.try talking to him and your in laws.go for an extensive treatment....dont be dependent on him.he is a support in your life...not your life...
God bless you:)
2007-03-12 16:27:56 · answer #10 · answered by gary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋