i told my mom that my dad not coming to my wedding still hurts. she said not to tell him. but i want too. what should i do. my dad never wants to come visit. the reason he said he didn't come waas his blood pressure was up. but he says that every time my mom come over and he's don't. should i tell him it hurt or not.
2007-03-10 13:45:33 · 16 answers · asked by lisaanndubay 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, you should tell him. Tell him plainly and simply. Phrase it like, "When you didn't come to my wedding, I felt hurt." Don't accuse of lying about his blood pressure, nor act angry; stay true to your honest feeling of hurt. He can't argue with such a statement, and by saying it you will be opening a fresh and honest line of communication. It may go nowhere, so be prepared for that. On the other hand, opening up with such vulnerability might bring you closer. If you resolve to do it in the right way, I think it's worth a shot for the emotional benefits you might reap in the long run.
2007-03-10 13:51:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am actually going through close to the same thing right now. I moved out of my dad and stepmoms house at 17, about 2 months before graduation. Dad was at my graduation. His wife didn't acknowledge me. The only reason she was there is that her sister graduated with me. Neither of them, nor any of her family went to my graduation party. I put it on myself to make it nuetral. Still, nobody. It's been 7 years. I'm now married with 2 children. But I can relate. I feel the need to confront him and his wife. We get along ok now. But that experience will be between us until I get it out in the open. The goal I set for myself is to take the chance and confront them within a month. I only have 2 weeks left....LOL. But I will do it. I think it will make me feel much better. I think it will help you too. (sorry this is so long)
2007-03-10 22:00:57 · answer #2 · answered by Jamie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should tell him exactly how you feel. Hold nothing back. This is hopefully a one time thing for you and he cant come to see his baby girl get married. I know several people who have high blood pressure and that don't stop them from doing anything. That's just a LAME excuse. Tell him,pray about it and leave it at the alter. Then move on.
2007-03-10 21:53:50 · answer #3 · answered by reddchilds 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were once your "daddy's girl", then you should appeal to his forever love for you. A father would never do anything to sadden his "little girl".
The fact that he could come to your wedding is now over. Establish the communication link again first. If he hates to be in the same place with your mom,, you just have to work around that.
If you don't feel he is that important in your life, don't do anything.
2007-03-10 22:03:46 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely I would tell him that it hurt! (unless you felt some fear of him getting violent with your or your mom)
He is your father after all, just because he is your father doesn't mean he gets to use excuses anymore than anyone else does.
Obviously either his medical problem is far worse than you realize since he cannot leave to go to his daughter's wedding, or he is just using that as a crutch to get out of doing things he should.
Bottom line is I would tell him one way or the other, phone, in person or lastly in a letter.
Good luck! He should have been there for you!
2007-03-10 21:53:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this hurts and yes i would tell him how it hurts. But you cant let them interfear with the fact that you just got married and you have a husband to take care of now.
2007-03-10 21:51:09 · answer #6 · answered by valerie s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, tell him it hurts...otherwise you'll hold a grudge about this maybe its best if you go see him and talk with him, maybe there is more to this, tell him your open minded he will like that also tell him this" Dad, I still love you no matter what" that is important to a dad..
2007-03-10 21:56:59 · answer #7 · answered by Gina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your relationship is yours and not your mothers. If you feel you need to tell him that he hurt you by not being at your wedding, the by all means, tell him. Don't do it with meanness, do it from your heart. I would tell my father.
2007-03-10 21:55:21 · answer #8 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry baby. Sucks to hear your dad can't be at your wedding.
2007-03-10 21:49:51 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is English your first language? I don't know what this question means.
2007-03-10 22:05:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋