How can i stop caring about what others think....?

Question

I tend to live my life caring too much about what others think...How do i change this way of thinking.....

Answer 1

Just ignore what people think about you and focus on whats important but I know from experience when you want to ask a girl out you instantly think about what she thinks about you but that could just be me

Answer 2

Whose opinion do you specifically care about? I care about the opinions of my husband, parents, sister and really good friends. Anyone outside of that is welcome to think what they want to, but it probably won't impact the way I live my life. For example, if a total stranger told me they think I'm a bad mother, I would have to think that they only saw the tiny bit of parenting I did while in their presence, so they don't really know if I'm a good or bad mother. But if my sister said it, I would really have to examine it, because she knows me very well, and wouldn't say unfounded things to me.

Answer 3

They know that's why you do it too. Honestly, the most attractive thing in either sex is confidence. You lack it, and you need it. You just have to quit caring about what they think and start figuring out what YOU want. There's no secret way to do that. You just have to decide to do it. Good luck!

Answer 4

you have to love your self before anyone else can so take time to your self and realize that your a good guy and u love your self and hold your head up high it wont matter what people think and who cares what they think you will see a person no more then a year maybe less. dont care what they think because it should matter what u think

Answer 5

do what I do, listen from one out the other...A prof. once told me and these are words of wisdom, that If I care what others think or say about me..I will never able to get anywhere in life..and trust me I don't care what others say and it keeps me very happy :) hope it helps.

-Rohit

Answer 6

Only your opinion counts! Who cares what other people think?

Answer 7

First off, there's absolutely no way anyone can ever stop caring about what people think of you. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying to you (and themselves), or they just don't know the truth. Look, to value the opinion of another is perfectly fine and healthy. Not to mention it's human nature. It's how we're wired. Why do you think we dress the way we do? Act the way we do, or anything we do at all? Am I saying you should be a people pleaser your whole life? Absolutely not. What I AM saying is that you should stop and REALLY think about how the opinions of other people really affect you.

For example, you get dressed for work thinking: "I need to wear this brown belt to make sure it matches my brown shoes." But think about it...if you wear black shoes with that brown belt is anyone REALLY gonna notice? And even if they do what's the worst that can happen? "Uh oh, he's not wearing a matching belt with those shoes!!! He's a bad dresser and a bad person!" And even if THAT scenario happened, would they even have the guts to tell you? Probably not. So the only way you would know that that person thinks you're a bad dresser and a bad person is if YOU put it in your head.

I love it when I counsel married couples or single men and women who "don't care what people think." lol That's such hogwash. It's OKAY to value one's opinion...so long as you don't let it consume you or live for their approval. People who say they don't care about what other people think are usually the ones who care the most about what other people think...why? Well think about it, in today's culture people that SAY "I don't care what others think" are admired. People say "Gosh, I wish I could be more like him/her" and often times they actually tell that person they admire or respect that quality about them...which is why people make the "I don't care what people think" statement in the first place. See where I'm going with this? They make this statement to get outside approval which means they have very little self esteem.their esteem comes from others (hence the name SELF esteem)...which usually means they care a LOT about what others think. Of course they'd never admit that to you but in most cases it's true.

So you want to know how to change this way of thinking. The answer is simple. Run the scenario in your head. Let's go back to the shoes and belt situation. If someone notices that your shoes and belt don't match and for one brief moment they actually think "Oh my gosh, he's not matching!!!" Does that REALLY affect your life? Is that one person that actually noticed your shoes and belt don't match going to completely alter your life? Are you going to get into a car accident on the way home? Are you going to cut your hand with scissors? Is your life going to fall apart? And even if all these things happened, did it have ANYTHING to do with the fact that one person noticed that your belt and shoes don't match? Of COURSE not. What's more is that your mismatching shoes and belt probably won't change their opinion of you one way or the other. And even if it did, how would it affect your life...I mean REALLY think about it. How would that alter the couse of your life...or even your day?

Look, we all want to be admired in a lot of ways. The way we look, the way we talk, our demeanor, everything. We want people think think of us in a positive light. There's nothing wrong with that. But going out of your way to be this perfect person everyone admires says that you're not giving people enough credit. Your not trusting them to admire you for who you really are. If you truly think that the people around you require you to be this perfect person, believe me when I tell you this, you are mistaken. People for the most part will accept anyone for who they are. And if they don't, oh well. You were going to get into that car accident anyway. You had already cut your hands with scissors earlier so it really doesn't matter does it?

My advice to you would be to trust people to accept and like you for YOU. Give them a chance to get to know the REAL you before you make a decision on what they want or don't want. Give them the benefit of the doubt that they're not as shallow as you assume they are. The truth is, real people aren't nearly as shallow as they appear to be on television and movies, they really aren't. Even if they seem to be, chances are they probably aren't as it's just a mask they wear to avoid rejection...much like the one YOU wear when you're trying to impress THEM.

It's healthy to value the opinion of another...on the flipside it is extremely unhealthy to live for another's approval. So go ahead, continue to dress to impress and continue to and pretend to be a cool customer that's in total control in certain situtations even of you're not. That's perfectly fine and it's perfectly normal. Just don't let it get to a point to where you're rehearsing phrases and facial expressions in the mirror. That can become an addiction and eventually YOU won't know who you are...much less other people.

Good luck!

P.S. Your belt and shoes SHOULD match, but you didn't hear that from me ::wink::

Answer 8

People pleaser. Look in the mirror, viola you are a people, please that people before you please any other people. I am a retired psych.