Okay, I wrote this poem, tell me what you think. I know it's not professional but it's my favorite one that I've ever written.
I would fly into the distance
but he's broken my wings
He's left a dagger in my heart
and the pain still stings
But now that I've met you
I'm opening new doors
you're wings look strong
can I fly on yours?
2007-03-10 12:39:28 · 4 answers · asked by Carly 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
i give you a lot of credit for sharing your writing.
just one suggestion:
"you're" in the seventh line should be changed to "your."
good job!
2007-03-10 12:53:48 · answer #1 · answered by kate.renee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its not bad. you might want to work on the ending. something to do with his strength helping you to heal you wings so your not flying on his wings but with him on your own wings. either way its good.
2007-03-11 00:59:17 · answer #2 · answered by ~*~AmethystMoonBeams~*~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad. But, stay out of rehab and DON'T shave your head.
2007-03-10 20:46:33 · answer #3 · answered by goaltender 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow.....i mean wow. that is cool. very very meaningful. keep on writing.
peace
2007-03-10 21:08:03 · answer #4 · answered by Shadow Lark 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋