When you love him so much...how can you make yourself leave?

Question

Ok...I'm sure that if anyone has read any of my questions they know I am pretty much going to have to leave my husband. I am 99% sure he is cheating on me he just won't admit it. Our son & I are moving away in 2 weeks to live w/ my parents. They know the situation. I have been thru a lot w/my husband, but I still love him so much. I know people say that you should love yourself & get out & not put up w/it, but it's so hard to imagine not being w/him. I hate the idea of another woman having him & not me b/c I love him. I don't want to make a big mistake but I don't want to always be hurt & not be able to trust him. What if he is able to always have a woman in his life & I don't ever find anyone else that I love as much as him no matter how much he has hurt me & I end up always regretting leaving him? I don't know what my family would think or say either if I stayed w/him. How do you learn to do as the saying goes to love yourself enough to get out when you love him so much?

Answer 1

Thank God you have somewhere to go - your parents! Take the opportunity and run with it! Everytime you think how you love him - think about him with another woman. And all the lies he told you! and all the lies he will tell you if you stay together! Your son will be OK. Plus, you dont want any diseases brought to you from him. Get a divorce if he is cheating. If your family knows whats going on, they will pity you for being with him. You deserve to be happy without him and you will. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Understand that a man who loves you doesn't leave you in a state of confusion. He doesn't let you wonder and worry about his faithfulness. He's above-board with you, making sure you are secure in the relationship. If your man isn't doing this, it's not the kind of love you can depend on, no matter how much you think you love him. You have a child, and you need to be in a good frame of mind to raise that child effectively. Make up your mind. Are you willing to continue in a marriage that makes you miserable, or do you want something better for yourself. It's not about him, it's about what you want for your future.

Sometimes a woman has to force a man's hand. She has to let him know she means business and if she has to leave him to do that, that what she does. Nobody can make this decision for you. Only you know how you feel inside, and only you can make yourself feel better. You may have made the wrong choice in a mate. It happens sometimes. If you've chosen the wrong man, don't let it ruin your future. And don't worry about another woman having him. He's not going to treat her any better than he's treating you.

Answer 3

I went back and read all your other questions - I don't think he's giving you much of a choice in the decision. You're going back to stay with your parents - go from there. No need to make a decision right now. You might find that the time apart gives you the strength to accept that he is (probably) cheating and to move on with your life. Or you might find that missing you causes him to admit what he's (probably) done and beg for your forgiveness. You sound more scared about starting a new life than you do about not being with him. Focus on you and your son for right now, let your husband worry about himself. The truth will come out and you're smart enough to make the right decision when the time comes.

Answer 4

If you can't go on with this kind of relationship wether it hurts you so much better move on and start a new life. Your lucky for having a supportive family. Try to write it down the pros and cons if you gonna leave him then weigh to yourself. The trust has been broken and the doubts never been out to your mind. What is love if you always hurt. Better hurt one time around than hurting you always. No one can love yourself more than anything else except you.Good luck.

Answer 5

You're doing it--moving to your family's home. This is where you start learning to love yourself--be by yourself. Get yourself busy with things you've always wanted to do for yourself--take a Yoga class, or a Salsa class--do things to treat yourself well--show yourself the love you so deserve and are missing in this relationship. Once you get yourself busy & start loving you, if this man wants you, you won't tolerate much nonsense. He'll have to ship up or OUT! Either way, you win! Here's to loving you....

Answer 6

Did you know 96% of long term marreges have a cheeting episode at some point.You dont have to end your marrege!You can confrunt him and ask for councling.You will impose a life of heart break on your child threw a devorce.Your heart is going to break daily if you end this marrege.You marred him for better or worse,ok this is the worse.I belev the only reason for devorce is abuse.I devorced a husband I loved deeply but becouse of abuse.It hurt so badly becouse i loved him so much but becouse I didnt want my children growing up seeing that I had to go.We all cryed a lot he cryed I cryed the kids cryed and it took a verry long time to get over it.You can fix this if hes willing too

Answer 7

after reading your question for the third time i think i can help just a little. i believe that you don't truly love your husband. i believe you love the ideal of what your husband should be. if you think it through i am betting that most of the thing s you love about your husband are things you are projecting on to him. fear is natural at the end of any relationship but you wont be able to move forward where you are. have faith in yourself that you are a worthwhile person and that you will be happier without the constant doubts that now consume most of your energy. i sincerely wish you all the happiness your new life will open for you. best of luck in whatever decision you ultimately decide upon.

Answer 8

The only way I would think about it is this....I personally belive that there is one person that you are going to end up with in the end. The rest are just people who will teach you things along that way. You are scared to leave him because you haven't been with anyone else. But he is NOT the man you are "meant" to be with, because that man will not cheat on you. So know that there is a man you are meant to be with out there- and that this is just happening to get you to move on, and let you take something on the way. He is not the man for you- the one is out there, but you can't find him staying with an *** hole like that. You'll get through it.

Answer 9

This is not something that will be easy to do for you and your son. you must first remember that you did not cause this brake up you are not the one that should be going through pain. he is. and sweet heart remeber you are not the only marriage that have had cheating spouse and you will not be the last. Take it one step at a time this is not the end of the road for you and the man you love you are only gong down two diffrent paths that will meet once again and then seperate and meet again etc.

Answer 10

the thought also crossed my mind, if there would ever be another love for me, but the cheating and betrayal, and the cover up was just too much to bear, but there was another ma for me, and a new life, better than living with a cheater, u can't ever trust or find peace with. there will always be regrets, as when u love someone leaving doesn't stop u from loving them, but having to put up with knowing the love of your life is cheating is far worse a thing to deal with than an uncertain future. as when one door closes other one seems to always open up. if he won't admit it, u can't fix it. as we can't fix what is denied. good luck