what do you do when things don't turn the way you imagined?
2007-03-10 11:33:51 · 13 answers · asked by Aquamarine 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, marriage is complicated. If you thought that marriage would solve issues you already had or if you thought they would change, then your up for a long hard battle.
You have to accept who they are or try and come up with a compromise. If both parties set out their problems and they are both willing to work through it for the sake of their spouse, your off to a great start. Don't ever try and change the person for your own selfish needs. You fell in love with them with the flaws in place, why would you want them to change, it's what makes them unique and love-able. Why else did you pick them. To achieve a perfect husband may happen but once the job is done, they don't seem all that appealing all of a sudden.
2007-03-10 11:47:01 · answer #1 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. It really isn't that complicated. Really.
Of course, that's as long as you've married a person that's emotionally mature, who has a sense of compromise and forgiveness, someone with patience and who's willing to work on life's problems instead of hitting the back door at the slightest hint of difficulty...
Life is a gamble, and a series of choices and problems.
Welcome to reality.
Life is no different for a single person than a married person.
The difference is that you either have the grace to LIVE in harmony with another human being....or you don't.
When things don't turn out "the way you imagined," you have a number of options:
- suck it up, choose another option and move on.
- cry in your beer and do nothing.
- hit the back door because you don't have the courage to face failure in the eyes of your partner.
A mature adult would say,"OK...this didn't work...let's try something else" and make the best of the circumstances.
2007-03-10 20:34:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is not supposed to turn out exactly just as you imagine. Life has complications, people are emotional, sometimes weak. Marriage is very complicated, and I think the biggest mistake people make is to assume that the "commitment" of marriage means they will be free of pain and complications thereafter.
2007-03-10 19:46:53 · answer #3 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on how bad the situation really is. If you are just disappointed that marriage isn't like it is on the soap operas or in the movies, then you need to grow up. Marriage isn't easy. You have to work at it. It takes two completely committed people to make it work. If you aren't willing to give 100% of yourself every single day to the guy you married, then either get counseling to find out what went wrong and how to fix it, if you are still in love with him, or find a good divorce lawyer and chalk it up to a lesson well learned.
2007-03-10 19:44:21 · answer #4 · answered by ptcruisinflutterby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it complicated? Just a little!
Everything hinges upon good communication. If you can't talk sensibly to each other, even over upsetting issues, the marriage tends to become tense and even unbearable. It's a really good idea to establish limits before you agree to get married (you may not burn the house down, or neighbor's houses; you may not molest children; you can't steal from me; you can't ignore me, and so on). You have to be honest with yourself too. And you have to defend your interests (such as your dignity). No, it isn't easy at all. But it can be very fulfilling if you have the right person.
2007-03-10 19:46:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not easy if that's what you mean. I guess it all depends on what you imagined. If you are realistic and know that it won't be a fairytale, you can handle it. Marriage is what you make it. It does take work, but it is definitely worth it. The marriage vows even give you a heads up..."for better or worse"...
2007-03-10 20:01:39 · answer #6 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You set down together and work out a resolution. Often developing a new direction you travel together. Life is neither simple or easy and that is reflected in any marriage, however you face those challenges together, thats what marriage is.
2007-03-10 19:41:28 · answer #7 · answered by Randy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can try, go to counseling, or just give up. Marriage is never what you imagined, but you really have to work at it, and even though sometimes it seems that things that will never work out, if you really try, they do.
2007-03-10 19:42:46 · answer #8 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, nothing ever turns out the way you think it is! The truth is what we all think we want is nothing what we really do....
2007-03-10 20:12:24 · answer #9 · answered by jewel64052 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to pick your battles and then compromise on issues.
2007-03-10 21:06:39 · answer #10 · answered by sassynsweet1221 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋