I found a text message in my boyfriends phone that said " are you mad at me baby" to a phone number i did not recognize and it wasnt stored in his cell. Of course I confronted him and asked him and this is what he told me. he has 2 jobs on the side he sells perfumes and clothes and etc and desperately needs the extra money. He said he met this girl while he was out and she bought from him and she said can u give me a ride home (it was at a bar) he brings it out with him. (i know cuz ive been there past times) anyway he never ended up driving her home, and left her there. so a few days later he text messaged her that .. so she wouldnt be mad and continue buying from him. he didnt even know her name and he said she was 45 and hes 24.
i cant seem to stop thinking about it. weve spoken about it so much and he said it was innocent and he has made an improvement since. i just get mad cuz he likes to go to bars with his friends , which i do the same. any advice please
Additional Details
2 minutes ago
by the way when he was telling me he seemed sincere about it and ive been with a year and 1/2.
that weekend it happened i didnt speak to him the entire time because i was mad he went out with his friends instead of hanging out with me when i asked him to hangout with me and he said he was tired. ( he really wanted to go hangout with his friends) so i didnt speak to him that monday .
this happened 2 months ago i brought it up again and still he denies cheating and that he would never text someone that again and he has shown improvement but now i question EVERYTHING he does
2007-03-10 11:15:57 · 5 answers · asked by nygirlsrdifferent 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he hasn't done anything else to question your trust in him why do you continue on about it. He told you what happened and you have to trust his word. There is no use in continuing to question this one incident if this is the only one you have. Accept it, deal with it and move on. By bringing up this one incident over and over is growing old and if your not careful, it will end this relationship.
To me, this sounds like a minor incident and the lady involved is just lonely and trying to get to him. Don't give him a reason to stray, move on and concentrate on the relationship now. If he was at all interested and did do something, he would have never told you a thing in the first place.
2007-03-10 11:30:15 · answer #1 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who in the world talks to a customer like that? Using the word "baby"? And who in the world, texts a customer and asks if they're mad at them? If she was a real customer, he'd say "Are you mad at me?", or try and offer her a free sample of perfume or something.
Something doesn't sound right.
I'm sure he hasn't cheated (maybe not physically), but cheating emotionally or knowing you want more than just to sell perfume to another girl, is still cheating, and hurts more than just a one-night stand.
You also shouldn't be too controlling/protective, because he's going to start getting stressed and want to break up because of your behaviour, and your lack of trust for him.
If he's been true in the past, and not that kind of guy to cheat, then I'd say it's dubious, but give him the benefit of the doubt and let it go. But if it's happened before, and you get the feeling he would do it again, or he keeps saying he wants to go chill with his friends, he's tired, he's busy, he's got a lot of work to do, and your relationship has changed.. then something is wrong.
2007-03-10 19:22:55 · answer #2 · answered by Fabulously Broke in the City 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, she is a client.....not his baby.
Either way, him calling her baby was out of line. I would at least address that u r the only one he should be calling baby.
As far as the rest of it, its a 50/50 story. If he is showing improvement, then just be cautious for awhile....a long while.
Thats about the only thing u can do.
You guys have a long relationship and I would tell him that u were hurt over the text but that u are willing to let this one go. This one is a freebie. But, he needs to watch his wording when it comes to his clients and lady friends. Ur his baby, no body else.
Good luck hun.
2007-03-10 19:27:18 · answer #3 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are going to chase him away if you keep bringing this up. If he has improved and looks you in the eye while he denied his cheating THE FIRST TIME why are you hounding him? It sounds like you two may be too young for this relationship. If you do not trust him after 2 mos. you will never trust him again. If that is the case you need to move on so you do not get to hate and try to control his every move.
2007-03-10 19:22:54 · answer #4 · answered by ladygwen 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
IF YOU DON'T HAVE TRUST YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING PUT A BLOCK ON HER NUMBER SOUNDS FISHY WHEN HE GOES OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS SPY ON HIM TO SEE WHAT HES DOING WHY IS SHE CALLING HIM BABY YOU NEED TO FIND HER AND TELL HER THAT HES YOU MAN DON'T LET YOUR GUARD DOWN KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON HIM TIME WILL TELL HE SHOULD HAVE A NIGHT WHERE HE CAN GO OUT BUT HE SHOULD TELL YOU YOU SHOULD BE NUMBER 1 IN IS LIFE IF SOMEONE WAS TALKING TO MY MAN LIKE THAT I WOULD START ASKING QUESTIONS JUST TELL HIM IF YOU CHEATING ON ME I'LL CHOP SUE IE YOU THEN YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ANYMORE MARK MY WORDS HE WON'T DO IT AGAIN KEEP HIM IN LINE
2007-03-10 19:25:07 · answer #5 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋