my best friend and i are very happy together. however, he is a gay male and i am a straight female. we total function as a couple, financially and emotionally. we seem to meet on the same wave length at any given moment, and can speak in half sentences and completely understand each other. a lot of my old friends have a problem with this and i don't understand why they would, when i'm so happy with it. we both feel that we are in love with each other, however we both choose to pursue other men, is that possible that we are actually in love? that you can be in love with more than one person?
2007-03-10 11:06:32 · 8 answers · asked by Curious Kim 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
i should also mention, we have lived like this together for over 3 and a half years
2007-03-10 12:57:48 · update #1
and we do not pursue sexual gratification from each other. mild kisses and cuddling, but thats it and we are both pleased with that.
2007-03-10 13:03:19 · update #2
One can always have affection and attraction towards others, but really the pressure is off in your circumstance. You aren't actually committed to each other- you are both pursuing other men. My ex and I are the same way. We live together, work together, trust each other implicitly (I'm bi, she's MTF Transsexual), share bills and live in a household that works effectively as a cooperative. I think you have a deep affection for each other and the trust is there, but you a female and straight, so it is easier from your perspective than it will be from his. Please, I certainly don't wish to imply I can speak for him. But he's straight up gay and you are (it sounds pejorative, but it really isn't- trust me) the fag hag. It happens a lot- no secret gay men and straight women go together like two peas in a pod. This is one of a multitude of examples of that. May you always feel the same about each other. : )
2007-03-10 11:21:57 · answer #1 · answered by wanfuforever 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is an interesting dilemma. This may not necessarily mean that this is love. If your friend is set on who he is and KNOWS without a doubt that he is gay, it may be that it isn't love, but certain aspects of your relationship with one another fit together. It is very possible that you just have a very good friendship that a lot of people may not have. Some people may view it as something different than that if they haven't experienced this type of friendship or don't know what this is. But if both of you are set in your ways and know that, then this is not a case of love, but a case of a very good friendship. You should try not to let a love factor interfere with a good frienship (not to say that its bad, but could cause problems). Just try and realize that you should be there for one another and have a love for one another that isn't sexual, but one that you appreciate each other and know that you care about that person.
2007-03-10 12:37:25 · answer #2 · answered by Mickey Von Luttrell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a couple of best friends like that too. He is a gay man and she is a very well educated woman and she usually the one to help comfort him and to get him through his dark times. Like yesterday for instance, he got some really bad news that we all that love and support him knew would turn out differently and she was the one to stay with him and console him and make him feel better and then she stayed with him at his apartment to make sure that he got something to eat and some rest as the last two days have been very trying for all of us but for him especially and they joke about being like a married couple but it is strictly platonic.
2007-03-10 11:14:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is much, much more than sex. I've been in a situation like this before, it may even work out as long as you can seriously recognize that you two may -never- be able to be sexually satisfied together. That may seem like an easy detail to overlook but stop and think about it for a while, sexually dysfunctional adult relationships almost never persist.
2007-03-10 11:14:28 · answer #4 · answered by lordwashu13 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds to me like you are souls mates on some level,however I believe you can have more then one soul mate in a lifetime.I believe that you could be in love with him and he could possibly be in love with you but in the long run,I believe you will be left broken hearted if you pursue this relationship,because you are never going to change the fact that his sexual preference is men and that is going to surface eventually,no matter what is happening now.So take care of yourself your friendship with him and your heart,so it does not get broken.
2007-03-10 11:29:16 · answer #5 · answered by FYIIM1KO 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its great that you two are best friends. To keep the friendship strong, just keep it at that. From your question and description, it kinda sounds like you're looking for more from him.
2007-03-10 11:31:32 · answer #6 · answered by Brent W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What gay man doesn't love his mother?
2007-03-10 17:07:42 · answer #7 · answered by Mike G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not if you two are happy with each other then where is the problems.
2007-03-10 14:01:03 · answer #8 · answered by Indira B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this just goes even further to prove that there are no such thing as gays and lesbians..
I hope everything works out for you both
Good Luck
2007-03-10 11:11:07 · answer #9 · answered by Azeem 2 · 3⤊ 5⤋