My hubby and I have been married 9 months, together for 3 + years. We have a lot of factors (we are both bipolar, have 4 kids, work opposite shifts..etc) but in the last month he suddenly stopped showing any interest in me. I talked to him about it last night and he said he just isn't interested lately. I'm frustrated. Any ideas on how to get his interest or should I just wait for him to come around?
2007-03-10 10:41:48 · 18 answers · asked by reighne 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe it's just that he's tired, stressed or if he takes drugs, the drugs have killed his interest.
2007-03-10 10:45:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This question is far to complicated and serious to leave to the armchair therapist that offer advice here-- seek pro help from the prescribing psychiatrist. As you well know, bipolar disorder distorts moods and thoughts, incites extreme behaviors, destroys the basis of rational thought, and too often erodes the desire and will to live (much less have sex). While neurological in origin, it really has a psychological feel also... the suffering carries is immense weight.
Answers needed: Side effects of meds? What effect does our hectic schedule have on this? What effect do the 4 kids have? Where is he on the cycle.. if depressed, this does effect desire? Where are you currently? Really, you need to see the psychiatrist or a therapist ASAP before this worsens and becomes a chronic condition.
2007-03-10 18:59:47 · answer #2 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you just gave 3 good answers to your own question: 4 kids(!), bipolar, and working opposite shifts! Those things do not suggest a whole lot of interest in ANYTHING, much less in the bedroom. most of the loving happens BEFORE marriage, so do expect a huge increase in romance now that the paper is signed.
2007-03-10 18:56:55 · answer #3 · answered by zelgadiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both are extremely busy, with working and tending to your children. I suggest that you try (I know it will be difficult) spending sometime alone, not just in the bedroom. IF you can try and get out of the house together where you both and let your hair down and have no worries, just for that evening. IF possible try and get a nice hotel room and spend the night with no interuptions. You both need a breath of fresh air, and I believe the rest will follow at the end of the evening.
You have to remember (sounds as if your doing so) to make time for each other.
2007-03-10 18:49:10 · answer #4 · answered by onefinesacaman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is on medicine for bipolar that could be the answer. Some of the medicines make men unable to get aroused. Ask him if he is depressed. Ask him if he is having an affair. Sounds like he is just settling or something is truly bothering him and he thinks he is unable to open up to you. If not on medication, I suggest he go. There is something more going on here then we can help you with. I have been going through the same thing for years now. So sorry for your loneliness....same thing. Good luck...I hope you find out what the problem is.
2007-03-10 18:48:42 · answer #5 · answered by ladygwen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be that he is tired, that the medication is effecting his sex drive, that he is feeling depressed or that he is under stress and could even be cause from high blood pressure.
I would take him to the doctor and have a physical, including blood work. I would also suggest talking to the doctor who perscribed the medication to see if there is another med tha won't effect his sex drive.
It might take time to track down the reason and I know that will be hard on you. During that time, masturbate to take care of the tension and try to spend more time talking and cuddling to keep you two close and intimate.
2007-03-10 18:55:45 · answer #6 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't put any pressure on him, that might push him further away. I totally relate to what you're going through (have been in the same spot for years!), but the important thing for you is to not blame yourself or feel insecure. It's his problem right now, and if he's a good husband he'll come around and let you know what he's going through. At least he should!!
2007-03-10 18:56:24 · answer #7 · answered by Christy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There could be many reasons. It could be emotional, he could be cheating (sorry), he could be really stressed. I wouldn't keep bothering him about it because it might just make it worse. You could subtly hint at times that you want to have sex and see what happens. If he is stressed, you could try to get a baby sitter on a night that you will both be home, maybe get some lingerie and try to make him feel special.
2007-03-10 18:47:15 · answer #8 · answered by jbvo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about things he might like to do different to spice things up. Talk to him dirty about what you want to do with them-maybe something that you haven't done or at least done for a long time. Tell him how much you are excited about feeling his body-stuff like that. If that doesn't work, maybe try counseling to see if there are other issues affecting his drive.
2007-03-10 18:46:55 · answer #9 · answered by kws504 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to figure out whats changed. More stress at work? A change in meds? Somethings different. Figure out what it is. In the mean time, you'll need to get more creative...vacuum in the nude. That should wake him up.
2007-03-10 18:44:57 · answer #10 · answered by helplessromatic2000 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋