but also love my daughter. i have a son 8 years old with this man. i have forgivin him because that is what i needed to do as a christian. but with lots and i mean lots of counseling for all of us is it understandable by anyone to want to stay with him? a footnote to mention my daughter is going to be16 and by the time he got out of jail she will be over 18. thanks and god bless
2007-03-10 10:38:28 · 58 answers · asked by bertalou 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
im sorry being christian or not i would not forgive anyone that would sexually asult my daughter.
2007-03-10 10:42:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 10⤊ 0⤋
Put your self in your daughter shoes. What do you think she must feel shearing the holidays with this man? You must learn that before anything in this world you are a mother and your job is to protect your kids. Is seams you are not doing a good job as a mother. Nobody cares how much counseling, or if you forgave him. This is your daughter, your blood the person the you must love the most. Remember man may come and go, but a child is forever.
This is a nonsense question, there is nothing to think about!
2007-03-10 11:02:49 · answer #2 · answered by Atzy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Being an adult doesn't change the fact that your daughter was raped as a child, no less by the very man she should be able to trust the most. What does staying with him say to your daughter? "Gee, I'm sorry you were raped and didn't like it, but I just can't get enough of him!" Being a Christian doesn't mean you also have to forget when you forgive. It's time to wish him well in life and move on for the sake of your children. The Bible makes it pretty clear that men who hurt children should be put to death.
2007-03-10 13:26:35 · answer #3 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You must pray about this. Your husband is a pedophile and he will reoffend and it's going to be some other young person. Many pedophiles prey on both male and female. Your daughter has been violated in the most horrific manner. What are you doing for her? Is your daughter going to want a relationship with you and him? You can forgive him but that does not mean you invite him into your life. What he did was evil. And for you to want to share your life with a pedophile is evil as well. I don't believe you understand the mind of a pedophile and you must if your considering sharing your self with him. I think your a very sick and evil woman and need help and I hope you get it.
2007-03-10 10:53:10 · answer #4 · answered by divinity 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's terrible that you even had to ask anyone this question. Your love for your child comes first and foremost...this child is part you. She looks up to you, no matter what her age, for guidance, security, trust and RESPECT. For you to even have to play a tug and war, with a man who took all that away from your daughter...is beyond anything I think a mother should do. How do you continue to love a man, who only is asking for forgivness.AFTER...he was caught.....HURTING YOUR CHILD....how? YOu need to be string, and pull yourself togther, and get some counceling, to make yourself strong. Be there for your daughter %100....because right now she needs you more then ever. I understand you are Christian....remember, god will forgive you for why you need to divorce your husband. He will also guide you and give you the strenth to be there for your daughter. Go to your church, surround yourself with loved ones, and take your children oiut of this man's life.
2007-03-10 10:56:13 · answer #5 · answered by combodeal2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are 3 things that you do not need to 'stand by your man' for. Abuse, adultery and addiction.
By 'loving your man' even though he did the unspeakable...permanently scarring your innocent daughter for life...you are basically saying......"Hey...it's OK that you molested our daughter. That's OK...because I love you and I forgive you...she'll be 18 when you get out of jail...so that makes it OK cause then she is an adult and not a child, so she won't be in danger of you doing it again".
Would you like to know how your daughter is now damaged? Let's see...she is going to face...possible drug/alcohol addiction, broken relationships, distrust of men, sexual problems, job problems...the list it too long to mention.
You are betraying your daughter and your son and yourself by staying with him.
You are afraid to be alone. That is what you need help with. You are afraid of your anger...because if you really, really thought about the sick,demented crime he did against your own flesh and blood...the moon would hear you howl...your tears would fill an ocean.
But you aren't crying any tears are you? You are more concerned about your own self than your children.
No amount of 'counseling' will help a child molester!
I pray for you because the bible does not say we have to stay and accept and stand by sick abusers. Get on with your life....forgive him silently unto yourself...but you don't remain faithful to a pervert. I get so upset by this type of Christian philosophy.
I am truly sorry for being so harsh...but I get the feeling you need something harsh to jar you out of your dreamland.
2007-03-10 10:54:22 · answer #6 · answered by kallie m 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Dear Betalou.
Honestly, if I were you, yes I forgive him, and send him to therapy. Your kids need a father not a mohomed. My sisters were even younger that your. I mean my dad rape my two little sister, and I can’t seem to forgive him, not only for that but because of the brutal abuse I went myself on his hands.
But if you want to forgive him, and start a new life, I think is the best thing you can do. And perhaps, I mean perhaps in the future if things do change with that who rape your daughter, then who know maybe you two could forgive and forget.
Ps. that depends on how your daughter feels about it.
Sorry for any misspelling.
2007-03-10 10:51:44 · answer #7 · answered by FlowMaster 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's one thing to forgive or love a man- it is another thing to endanger your daughter. As a mother, your responsibility is to stand by your daughter and protect her. What he did is so wrong. What message will you be sending to your daughter by taking him back? It's Christian to forgive but Christianity does NOT require bringing him back into your home.
Your daughter will suffer from the impact of his molestation the rest of her life. It will impact ALL her future relationships and trust of men. Don't make it worse by making him a part of your family again.
Counseling rarely makes permanent changes in sexual deviations. You can never trust him.
2007-03-10 10:50:11 · answer #8 · answered by Karrose 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
NO! you don't stand by anyone who abused your children sexually or otherwise. Big deal if the christian thing to do is forgive but you should not forget. Chances are very high that this guy will do this to another girl. I'd guess your daugther was not the first. Do what any good mother would do stand behind your daughter.
2007-03-10 10:43:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Listen her lady and I am going to be very blunt and I don't mean to offend you, but that happened to my sister and I. My sister and I were sexually abused by our step father, and he was charged. My mom is still with him to this day, and since had another baby with him. You want to know that I love my mom, but I choose to have little to nothing to do with her. You made the choice to make your daughter and she had nothing to do with that decision. On the other hand it was a mutual decision for you to be with that man. You have absolutly no right to continue being with someone that hurts what you and you alone decided to make. Your daughter is your daughter and always will be. Your husband is a perve and needs to burn in hell for that ****. I suggest you wake up lady. You only live once. What do you want to be remembered for? The women that choose a man over her own, or the woman that loved her children so much that she would sacrifice her own selfish wants and desires for them?
2007-03-10 10:49:39 · answer #10 · answered by ellasdaughter2004 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
YOU ARE JUST AS SICK AS HE IS!!!! HOW COULD YOU EVEN LOOK AT A MAN WHO DID SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO YOUR CHILD? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? IF YOU WERE ANY KIND OF A MOTHER AT ALL YOU WOULDN'T BE ASKING THIS QUESTION. DON'T SITE CHRISTIANITY AT ME, I AM A CHRISTIAN AND I AM A GOOD MOTHER. CHILDREN COME FIRST! YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR CHILDREN TAKEN FROM YOU! YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN THE PAEDOPHILE HIMSELF! YOUR DAUGHTER'S LIFE HAS FOREVER BEEN CHANGED BY THIS SCUMBAG AND BY NOT HAVING A MOTHER TO BE THERE FOR HER. I HOPE SHE CAN SOMEHOW MANAGE TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE REST OF THE WORLD ISN'T LIKE HER LOVING FAMILY!
2007-03-10 11:23:34 · answer #11 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋