My husband has been sleeping on the coach for the last 4 months and even though he says nothing is going on it make me feel hurt. He states that the bed is too full with our small pug and sometimes our 2 yr. old son. He also states its more comfortable on the couch. I have told him that this hurts my feelings and makes me feel like less of a women but he continues to do it. I am stuck and do not know what to do. We have had some problems in the past, and I was starting to think things were getting better but know I am not sure. Plz help.
2007-03-10 10:34:53 · 32 answers · asked by kris10sh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
get the dog and the kids out of the bed
2007-03-10 10:38:25 · answer #1 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can understand his point of view. It's hard to sleep in a bed and try to cuddle with you and a dog and a kid all over the bed. Maybe the couch is more comfortable adn I would not let the dog sleep in teh bed and I would tell my 2 yr. old that he can only sleep there only when it is necessary. Well your husband doesn't mean to hurt your feelings what he wnts is sleep since he can't get any on a full bed. SO the next best thing is sleep. But maybe if you get the dog and kidd off the bed and buy a firmer mattress he might go sleepw ith you again. Hey don't put the blame just on him, look in the mirror and think why did I let it go this far?
2007-03-10 10:46:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Kris...Here's what I would do. He's already stated that the beds to cramped with the dog and your 2yr old. I'd work on that first. Put a nice doggie bed for your pug on the floor somewhere close by you (you may want to put an article of your clothing on yer pups bed at first to still give him the security of your scent there, the dogs favorite toy as well..thus making it inviting and cozy for the pup and not as he's been bad and can't sleep with you). Next..try weening your 2 year old into there own tottler bed.
This now free's up two of the reasons that your husband has expressed in not being comfortable and wanting to sleep with you. To me there's nothing like feeling squished hugging that seam on the side of the bed..it's just not comfy!
This also now shows him that your not picking the dog over him! A womens man should ~ALWAYS~ come first.
Now that he's seen there's a side that's actually for ~him~ and not to be shared in 1/3's by your child and a dog....ask him since he feels that the bed isn't very comfy if you could go look together for a new one..him going with you to see what soft or firmness he'd like for a mattress.
If all that doesn't work....that's when I'd want to sit down at talk to him about what might really be going on in his heart!
Good luck to you Kris!
SmileyCat : )
P.S. My couch is really comfy too! zzzzzzz!!! hehe
2007-03-10 11:07:42 · answer #3 · answered by SmileyCat : ) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the first step is to (as painful as it might be) kick the pugs and your son out of your bed. Children don't belong in the marriage bed. It is the most intimate place in your home. It
should be you and your husbands private place. Once you have stopped allowing everyone else in the bed, if he continues to sleep on the couch you will know that is not the issue. If he continues sleeping on the couch you should begin to look at your relationship. Maybe he is not getting what he needs. A very easy way to give him what he needs is to do what he loves most (what makes him feel loved). Is it when you do something for him, buy him things, tell him something positive, spend time w/him or touch him. Whatever it is do it and do it often. Once he feels loved by you he will do whatever he has to to make you feel loved. Good luck!!!!!
2007-03-10 10:48:45 · answer #4 · answered by Starrlyte 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How hard is it for you to understand that your husband wants to sleep with you, not the pug and not your 2 year old? Can't you just figure it out on your own? If you want the man to come back to bed, put the dog on the floor and the child in his own bed. Then, clean up your bedroom and keep it that way. You'll start feeling more like a woman and your husband will treat you that way.
2007-03-10 12:06:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like most everyone here answering, the first step is to get the dog and your child out of your bed so you two can be intimate with each other as well as hold each other...both are very important to a marriage. That you have to ask what to do with a dog and your son sleeping in bed and your husband on the couch...that's a bigger thing to me, you need to put more emphasis on your marriage in general I would bet to be confused about this. I would bet that it makes him feel like less of a man that you would be more worried about your dog and your child being there once he told you it bothered him to have them there.
2007-03-10 11:36:42 · answer #6 · answered by mark63049 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is sleeping on the COACH, and the coach is a man, your husband is probably gay...is this the first sign you have had? Have you notice him cruising men at the grocery store? How did you find out about him and the coach? Does the school board know? On the other hand, if the coach is a woman, he is probably not gay, just tired of you and wants a change...give him some room, the coach will end the affair soon enough. Good luck
2007-03-10 10:57:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is actually uncomfortable in the bed, then let him continue to sleep on the couch. I know plenty of couples like this. The husband is getting back problems or something from the amount of people, animals or whatever in the bed, or the matress is too uncomfortable, so he sleeps on the couch. If this is the case, get over it.
If this isn't the case, though, you need to get to the root of the problem. Sit down and have an actual conversation with him about it.
2007-03-10 10:39:53 · answer #8 · answered by Kayla 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all get the dog and you son out of your bed. Not just for tonight but from here on out. Step two clean, upholstery, burn the couch so there is not a reason for him to sleep on it. This also goes for lazy-boy chairs. Step three maybe Victoria Secrets??? Good luck.
I have a feeling that your husband may feel a little upstage by his own son but he doesn't want to say anything.
2007-03-10 13:09:28 · answer #9 · answered by J C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a dog or any size dog in your bed is a big No! No! I understand about your son but once the baby falls asleep, you pick him up and take him back to his bed. Men are the biggest baby’s of all and if you do not give them the attention that they need they will seek it elsewhere. I have been married for 26 years with three sons, and my husband has always come first maybe it is not to late for both of you, but again get rid of the dog on your bed!
2007-03-10 10:50:16 · answer #10 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm hoping that isn't a actual question on account which you're surrounded by skill of a few very disturbed adult males. If a coach is offering to place your son on a team for sexual favors he could be suggested on the instant. additionally, is that this the fashion of coach you pick your son to benefit baseball from? i'm particular there are different adolescents leagues on your section for him to connect. in the journey that your husband particularly stated which you will have slept with the coach - slap him two times as complicated. seek for marriage counseling. stable success.
2016-11-24 19:11:55 · answer #11 · answered by fearson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋