My best friend is having an affair and...?

Question

I found out about it. We are in the process of forming a new business. He is lying to me about it and if his wife finds out (she is a friend as well), he will be ruined financially. Should I ignore his private life if he would be a business asset? I can't handle the dishonesty to me as it just makes me wonder if he would lie to me about other things. He is aware that I know something is going on but will only admit to what I have found out. What should I do ? Break off the friendship? Break off the business relationship? We're like brothers and get along great...now I just don't think I can trust him.

Let me add...he knows that I know about is secret life and he's stubborn as a bull about admitting anything. I don't need to know the details and I know he's not really happy in his marriage (obviously) but he's financially bound to it. I've told him the consequences and he seems to want to risk everything for this relationship that he claims isn't more than a friend (non-sexual). I know some of the things he tells me are lies and he's well aware that I don't approve of the situation. Luckily, there are no children involved... This thing has been in the works for over a year and now when things are finally starting to move, I run onto this.

Answer 1

well u make a good point in saying u don't trust him coz first he didn't trust u enough to tell u whats gong on with him u said u trust him his like u r brother but maybe he doesn't feel the same way cuz he didn't share his personal life with u unless u asked or told him what u know .2ND thing that is his life and if u feel uncomfortable with hiding things from his wife then u cant come between them both coz if she forgives him then Ur gong to look like the bad guy and Ur friendship with him will be ruined he wont trust u anymore ..do what u would want some one to do to u if u were in his place

Answer 2

If you are trying to start a business with someone else you would be wise to seek counsel from an older business person that you respect. At the very least write out a list of your "non-negotiables." The traits that you value highly and must have in a business partnership and the ones that you will not tolerate. If you don't know what these are....don't start a business yet. Integrity...honesty....those should be a given. You are asking for trouble if you overlook this lack of trust.
Why don't you tell your friend that you aren't sure you want to go into business with him because of this trust issue? His response to that will likely give you your answer.

Answer 3

Look that is your friend so you should be able to talk to him. So you sit him down and let him know that look what you are doing could effect us with the business. Explain that if the wife finds out she'll take him for everything and let him know there are ways to fix the home front. Then you let him know if you are not willing to attempt to fix your home and put your extra activity time into this business rather than that chick than I cant do business with you. Because you refuse to have the business jeopardised over his infidelities.

Answer 4

As far as the business goes you are right to have doubts. Not only the ones you've meantioned but what if he uses the business as a 'cover' (excuse) to be able to meet with his honey? You're left with all of the work to do. I would stay out of his personal business as long as we continued to be business partners. It's his life let him mess it up. He's a big boy.

As far as my relationship with him goes? That's a tough call. You say that you all are as close as brothers but he's put you in an impossible situation, has lied to you, and given you reason to doubt him. Is that what true brothers do?

My guess would be that you already know what it is that you want and should do but are just here to seek moral support. As long as you follow your heart you will be fine.

"To thine own self be true."

Answer 5

if he's like a brother he wold've told you, hey his wife thinks he's like a husband, and look at that..... Break off the business relationship, she will take him to the cleaners and you'll be left holding the bag or protect your finacial end of the business. in case this does happen you'll be protected..but i would hold off and confront him with the prospect of this happening. you should be able to talk to him if you are like brothers and going into business you would need to expose more than that to each other

Answer 6

Seeing how it could affect you financially, I would break off the business relationship.

Answer 7

be honest with him tell him how u feel n if u feel so dishonest bout it n u jus dont think things will be the same with u then u should break the business relationship with him but if u cant keep the friendship relationship with him so be it then

Answer 8

if you tell her and they are in love it will turn on you,he will lie to her and she loves him enough she wont want to believe it would be much easier to accept that you are trying to cause trouble or both will wind up mad at you as for the business if it is in your best interest go for it if not dont be sure to keep business where it belongs and make sure to avoid getting into his relationship it really doesnt concern you....good luck

Answer 9

Just make sure that everything about the business is legal, binding, and you have signed, notarized contracts in writing!!! Make sure that you are covered financially and legally if something should happen to the partnership,,,

Answer 10

She is going to find out eventually. And it will hurt your business relationship if it actually ruins him financially.

Only tell her if you do it out of friendship and not out of saving your own skin. I would definately boot him out of the business though


Good Luck!