I give and give, but where´s my reward??? I guess the problem is that expect a reward, right?? I find it hard to enjoy the actually giving...maybe now I sound very selfish, but I can´t be the only person who feels like this????
2007-03-10 09:38:37 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I will be nice to people but If I feel like I am not appreciated then I don't help that person again. It is useful to be nice to people and create a good network among people that could come in handy when you need a favor. This is a pragmatic way to be a good caring person. If you have done someone a good favor then put that person on your list of people to ask for help when you need it. If they don't help then forget them.
2007-03-10 09:45:29 · answer #1 · answered by Ken 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Giving and being a caring person are not the same thing.
Sometimes giving is very impersonal, and it's not appreciated by those who receive from you. Tax payers give social assistance to the needy. But how many of those needy appreciate the 'love' and 'care' they receive from hardworking taxpayers? It's like that giving through charities too. Those who receive from you don't know you.
The best reward of being a good and caring person is the love you receive back from the people you love and help. And to get this reward you have to do it in a personal way through some kind of a personal relationship with the person on the receiving end. Only then people will naturally appreciate your goodness and give you the reward of their love for you.
Of course when you are helping others, then there is always a possibility that people are taking advantage of you. And knowing the difference between true love and being taken advantage of is the most difficult part of being a good and caring person.
2007-03-10 10:01:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your reward is a clear conscience and the ability to look at yourself in the mirror and know that you are doing the right thing. if you are by nature a giving and caring person and you try to act another way it will cause you grief through guilt.
sure most people will not thank you for your kindness and many people will take take take from you but think of the people you have helped. remember the few people who are grateful for your kindness. thank about how you feel after you do a good deed. (most of the time-not the times when you have been used)
your kindness is rare and the reward is knowing that you are being true to yourself. keep being a blessing to others.
2007-03-10 09:52:59 · answer #3 · answered by slow thinker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well at least you know it WILL probably pay in the end. At your funeral, people will say, "She was a good and caring person."
I don't know if you want to wait that long. Maybe you should grab for the gusto like everybody else. Either that or do good and be caring for the sake of doing the right thing, and not for any reward. Otherwise, you'll be disappointed most of the time.
2007-03-10 09:43:09 · answer #4 · answered by ThatLady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I find it hard to believe you wouldn't feel good about giving. Maybe you should take some time to think this over. What exactly is it you are giving? Maybe you are giving of the wrong thing. Giving should never be about getting something back, that is NEVER what it is about.
I'm sure your not the only person who thinks this way, unfortunately, and that is part of the reason the world is the way it is.
2007-03-10 10:37:30 · answer #5 · answered by elimayme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,
it is said that being a good and caring person is the reward within itself. you have had your reward all along, by choosing to be the person that you are. there are givers and there are takers. the givers do so willingly, never expecting anything in return. if you are not seeing the blessings of your actions, take a closer look around you..you will find them.
2007-03-10 09:56:48 · answer #6 · answered by Sandra Dee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are focusing too much on the REACTION rather than the action. If you are always looking to be rewarded for doing good, forget it...you will be sorely disappointed. People who ENJOY doing good toward others are those who have the ability to place their whole focus upon their good intent...they are just good people to start with and goodness exudes from them without effort. Does being "good" pay off? That depends upon how you view your feedback.
2007-03-10 09:46:22 · answer #7 · answered by Dr. J 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your being a good and caring person and expect to be rewarded for it, your going to be disappointed. If your being a good and caring just because that's the kind of person you want to be, then care on...
2007-03-10 09:45:44 · answer #8 · answered by Pahd 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you give and expect something in return, how does that make you feel? You don't enjoy giving because you force yourself to. So that's the secret. You give because you WANT TO and DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING IN RETURN. It will pay off in the end, when you're taking you're final breaths and review what you did in your life, go in peace or ....
2007-03-10 09:47:18 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don;t think so. I know it sounds terrible. But like you say you give and give and get kicked in the teeth. I can't tell you how many times I have tried to help someone (who really needed help!!) and it has always been a headache.I know..I still want to help people but I have stopped because it just cost me to much financially and mentally.
2007-03-10 09:50:28 · answer #10 · answered by little3nikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋