6 months into the relationship were were engaged (i've known him since 16, but not well). We were going for two years before we got married (we were living w/each other since we were engaged). got married and now im thinking it was the wrong decision. i love him but he gets so mad (doesn't abuse me) but will say mean things. before we got married i told him that he would have to stop that because it hurts to much and he promised me he would change. just recently he got mad and said to get out of his house (second time he said this and we both pay the rent), so i left for the night. We argued talked about divorce. in his mad stage (when he gets mad he doesn't think) he said he not sure if he can change, so i said we should end it since i can't take it anymore. In the end i forgave him and he promised to try harder. Im at the point where I need to decide now before we get our house because I'm not sure he will ever change. I love him but not sure if its enough anymore......
2007-03-10 09:20:23 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
GET OUT NOW!! I have been there and my girlfriend too. I got out she stayed. He verbal became physical and then he divorced her and got the house and half of her LARGE bank account! GET OUT NOW SWEETIE IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE! If you can't handle it now what will happen once you get a house together and you have to pay him off for your half or loose it all together. Sweetheart save yourself now.
2007-03-10 09:35:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If i were in your shoes the next time this happens, i would leave for more then on night doesnt mean u have to get divorced, id tell him that 2 things need to happen before we get back together, 1. marriage counseling, and 2. he needs to get help with anger management.. untill he learns that there is no more his and hers, everything is now "ours".. and he cant seem to control what he's saying while hes angry, so he definately needs some anger management..
If he loves u, he'll do it.. and remember the first year can go 1 of 2 ways, it can be like ur living on cloud 9 , playing house kinda thing, but usually with those that were living together prior to marriage, its a pain in the azz to get through the first couple of years cause the real you, and the real him comes out , and your both going to learn alot about each other, good and bad, and it will try u at times till u can find a common ground.. but what he is doing is wrong, and if this is going to work he's definately going to need to learn how to communicate with out exploding..
Good Luck..
2007-03-10 09:33:49 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to save your marriage. Seek counseling before you go to see if it can be saved. The counselor can also help your husband with the way he talks to you. A marriage isn't something you just give up on. You promised until death. You two got married very young which is going to offer challenges in itself. Try reading the book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura to see if that can help on your end and cause some change in him as well.
Good luck!
2007-03-10 09:26:26 · answer #3 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey why don't you try again try getting professional help you guys haven't dated much try dating now. Now is the time that you guys should link and pull together to make this work. Why made you think that marriage is a picnic? Its not so get with it and work at it because if you love him you would try at it.
If he loves you he would try to stop hurting you and try to get help he seems to have some anger issues and it could have had a part to play in his past. Probably childhood so you should look into that as well.
2007-03-10 09:35:19 · answer #4 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs anger management therapy. Don't give up on him yet, he's really got a problem. However, if he refuses to get professional help, then there will continue to be problems. Sounds like you love him, but if he doesn't love you, the marraige is over with.
2007-03-10 09:26:49 · answer #5 · answered by Suzie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please get out of that relationship and get some counseling for yourself esteem. You do not deserve to be treated that way by anyone EVER. Seek help with family members or local woman's shelter. You just described every mother's nightmare for their daughters to be in this situation...PLEASE get out of this marriage as fast and as quiet as possible. I wish you the best and will say a prayer tonight for you to be safe. =)
2007-03-10 10:09:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get out now. If he yells at you and has such a bad temper then things will only get worse. It's better to invest only 4 months into this marriage than to waste precious years.
2007-03-10 09:31:54 · answer #7 · answered by nimo22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless he agrees to professional counseling. If he won't, then get out now while you can. Sounds like he has some anger issues. If you don't stand up for yourself now, it'll just get worse.
Good luck :)
2007-03-10 09:26:19 · answer #8 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you first try relationship counselling, then if he doesn't change you should get divorced. Abuse is never acceptable, you deserve better.
2007-03-10 09:24:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when the word rupture comes around is because the end is coming...
so you have the choice... let it finish right now or letting the relationship falling appart over the time ...
2007-03-10 09:36:17 · answer #10 · answered by Luc G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋