My husband and I were fighting and he was always telling me he was depressed and needed to see a doctor. I had ben trying to get him in to one when all hell broke loose. One day he just decided that he needed to get away and then he came back mad and said it was over.
Mean while we have a son together, he as a son and I have two daughters. He was all they knew as a daddy.
He wont give me any answers. I ask him about a divorce and he wont answer either way. This is crazy. He is at his parents and i know they are putting stuff in his head because it doesnt seem like they ever liked me or my girls. Im going crazy. I just want him to give this marriage a second chance. He has never left before or acted this way towards me. Even the day before he was saying he wasnt going to leave me and that he was in love with me. Im so confused. I know Im crazy but Should I try to see if he would want to make this work?
2007-03-10 09:00:03 · 11 answers · asked by Kimberly G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
also when we met he choose to take on the role as a father to my two girls, he eventually let me stay home with the kids, so i have no job,and we bought a mini van and a new house.
We had been having issues. I was insecure in our relationship and he never gave me a reason to be, but i brought past things with me.
Sometimes while sitting here trying to figure this out, i wonder if i nagged too much or was to insecure and i was stressing him.
He pretty much only text me right now, so i really dont know what he is feeling.
He wont say anything that has to do with his feelings.
2007-03-10 12:30:30 · update #1
depression is horrible, poor man, give him space and give him time, actually the more they try to paint you in a bad light the more he will resent them, and they should not be negative about anything in his presence, at this time-he will eventually make his own decisions. i think he will come back, but he needs time, but, some people need to realise that only if they are out of the picture for awhile. do your best to be calm and peacefu, he needs that strength right now, sometimes God allows us to go through these trial for our personal growth, remember you want to give him a good reason to return! so look nice, be pleasant and do not nag!!! he sounds scared, help him to do the right thing by being the wise woman, being the peaceful, strong woman, but also feminine. That way you offer him what his parents can't offer him. when you talk, ask him is he getting enough rest, is he eating right, and how about a hobby [golf is good] and reading the Bible-please do not say heavy things to him right now, be truely his better half. God says you are 'one' .
2007-03-10 09:09:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him the space he needs. Your acting needed can drive a wedge deeper.
He is obviously going through something. Hopefully, for your sake it is not another woman in the picture.
Maybe he is feeling overwhelmed or maybe its a mid-life crisis. You didn't say how old he was. He seems to want out but did not know how to make the break.
You can't make people love you if he has fallen out of love with you. But I would give him some space. Don't call him, just lay low for awhile and let him think it through.
2007-03-10 09:25:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depression does horrible things to a person and effects everyone involved. If he's not willing to seek help for his depression perhaps leaving you is a blessing. I know, because I am married to a man suffering from depression. He wont help himself but instead drinks until he's annihilated. No way for me to live or have my son around either. For me I'm just the next step to moving on. You just have to weigh things out and see if it's even worth the trouble of keeping it together.
2007-03-10 09:08:22 · answer #3 · answered by sweet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry!!! {{{HUGS}}}
He sounds like he definitely has a mental illness; not being a doctor, I won't even speculate as to what it could be, but hon...leave him be. I know your heart is probably breaking, and you feel like the world is caving in, but it WILL be okay. If you and he are meant, then you will find a way back to each other. He obviously needs to get his head screwed on straight.
Take care; feel free to IM me any time, kk?
2007-03-10 09:11:24 · answer #4 · answered by bcs_boadicea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where your husband is is where you should be...go visit him at his parents. Contact his mother and tell her your health concerns for your husband. He needs to start with a complete physical exam and be sure to tell the doctor of his depression. If you have insurance his primary care physician needs to write him a referral for a counselor.
Is there any chance he is using meth? That can give a person bi-polar like personality and/or give them the idea of living where they are likely to be enabled with impunity.
2007-03-10 09:16:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be drastic, let him be and let him cool down. let it be a test for you 2.
a little time and space apart for a short while would be good. if he loves you, nothing can cahnge that even his aprents. of it does . . . frankly . . . np point holding to it for it will happen sonner or later or "history will repeat itself" tha what?
headaches and sorrow again. let things solve itself if you 2 cant . .. if fate is with you 2 . . . you'll make it and if not. . . .
times have changed and so do people and thinking . . . so do you
good luck.
2007-03-10 12:04:52 · answer #6 · answered by dream_drifter05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when this happens we are confused, when it happened to me much in the same way, said he was depressed, that he was sick, that he hated his life, he went to his mom's, totally out of character for him. she was feeding him stuff, took a dislike to me. found out later the main reason, there was another woman in my marriage, and had been for quite some time. yes my ex also said thing that would make me believe he cared about me, no reason at all to worry, but than poof he was gone. another woman in your marriage may be the reason.
2007-03-10 09:14:16 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him alone for awhile. He might come back to you. Don't dwell on it. You have 3 kids you need to concentrate on taking care of you kids.
2007-03-10 09:07:22 · answer #8 · answered by Atheist Eye Candy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y'all need therapy. That is if he wants to make your marriage work. If he doesn't, then move on.....you don't want someone who is not happy being with you. I hate it for the kids, but they are so much better off without the arguing.....when they witness that, it is nothing but child abuse.
2007-03-10 09:07:11 · answer #9 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like something is really bothering him.All I know to do right now is pray about it.
2007-03-10 09:06:18 · answer #10 · answered by Buck 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋