Why are teenagers so determined to hide their mental illnesses from the parents?

Question

My friend was builmic and she would do everything and anything to stop her mum finding out. After a year she told her mum. (We were going to tell her mother, but she told us after a month she had stopped, when really she hadn't, when we found out she hadn't stopped, we treatened to tell her mother if she didn't)

A lot of my other friends sneak around behind their parents backs to go to counselling and etc.

But if it was a physical illness they would tell their parents and go to a doctor.

Why are teenagers so determined to hide their mental illnesses from the parents?

I understand that all parents are not as loving and caring as they should be. But most people have a teacher or a friend's mum or family member they can talk to that they trust.

They say that they want help, yet they hide it from the people who can help them the most!

Answer 1

Well with most illnesses as bulimia and such there is a lot of guilt and shame involved. Many teens feel like they are already strange and weird and misunderstood. So when a major problem comes along they definately dont want to stand out or make an even bigger scene in their life. Many teens dont have loving family and friends and are afraid that they will drive away the few they do have with their condition. I suffered from severe depression in high school and then later in adult life found out that my grandmother had it and so did my mother!! No one in my family talked of it because they were ashamed!! HELLO I could have killed myself just because no one would talk of feelings and shame and of getting help. Fortunately these days we do have the internet and more self help hotlines than ever before. Many teens can reach out and still be anonymous. It is really great that you asked this question because the more people talk about teen problems the more we can get help for those who need it and help them not feel so alone. I now take an atidepressant and have a great life. I also am watching my two daughters for signs of depression and eating disorders as well. GREAT QUESTION!!!

Answer 2

Because it's hard telling them about stuff like that. Some are scared that our worries will get shrugged off as juvenile and others are scared of the consequences, like what their parents will do about the problem. Sometimes parents can make a big deal out of nothing and it's embarrassing. It's just hard. You're worried about parents getting mad, and disappointed in you and not getting the support you need. Not everyone comes from a supportive family and some parents are very strict with their children. Like your friends case, if she told her mother about her bulimia, she wouldn't have been able to keep making herself throw up. If we told our parents about our illnesses, we would have to stop doing what we feel is the right thing to do to get what we want. Talking to parents just make things difficult. Half the time, they just don't seem to completely understand....

Answer 3

For one, after someone has admitted a mental illness to their parents, there's no more kidding themselves, they have a mental illness.

Another is that they don't want to appear weak or messed up in front their parents (teenagers are liable to see their homelife as a war) and admitting to one problem or another might just justify many criticisms parents have made in the past.

But the most important thing to remember about teenage behavior in general is that it is ruled by emotion, not reason. It makes perfect sense to inform loved ones of a mental illness, but it can be very stressful or painful emotionally, so teenagers will seek to avoid it.

Answer 4

I struggled with one in middleschool. I guess in my case I was afraid that my parents would think of me differently. With a physical illness it isn't really your fault, but I felt like mental illness was my fault and they would think of me differently for having it. Also going to them meant that they'd get me some sort of treatment and facing a mental illness is scary........I think there's a point though, when the illness becomes unmanagable, that teens will seek out help from their parents.

Answer 5

I don't know why, but I know a girl who is bulemic, I even caught her throwing up in the bathroom and she is VERY skinny.... I have anxiety and after like a month of hiding it (I'd get this urge to throw up if I got nervous) I told my mom and now I'm on medication and doing great! I guess it's just one of those things where you think what's going on is bad and think yo u have it under control

Answer 6

You make the assumption that all parents are open, willing or able to help their child's problems.

Most kids are out of the womb and are on their own in coping emotionally/mentally. Parents are often the last people you can turn to for help.

Answer 7

embarrassment, shame...etc. It's so hard to talk about i guess. These teens need to realize that (like you said) it should be the same with a physical condition, no stigma. If you broke your leg would you act like everything was fine? Of course not, the same rule should apply. I guess too many people feel that mental illness is their fault....maybe better education about such things is needed.

Answer 8

they just don't want the people closet to them and that they love the most to know something is wrong with them

and its a control thing parents control 90% of your life and people with mental illness need to feel in control this is how they get control of there illness

Answer 9

In the teen years, kids are building their own independence. They don't want to be cuddled, or hugged by their 'wierdo' parents. =) But, it does all turn around when they're about 21-22, and 'individualized,' when their brains start functioning as adult brains. Nothing wrong here, it's all natural.

Answer 10

Mental illness. She needs help and when you find a secret out like this, always! I mean always tell! I'd rather risk losing her friendship then her risking her life and that's what it all boils down to!