More about woman and men having 'unwanted' babies?

Question

So they had a one night stand and the condom broke. She got pregnant and decided to keep the baby even though he didn't agree with her choice because 1. They weren't in a relationship, 2. He had used protection but it failed. Now he has to live with being a father, paying child support, etc even though he had NO SAY in the process.

NOW: People can say that she has to carry the baby for nine months and bring it up, etc but don't you see that SHE MADE THAT CHOICE? When she decided to keep baby she knew what she was getting herself into for the next 18 years, he didn't even have a choice, just has to accept that his life has changed forever.

All I ask id 'do you think this is fair?' Women - would YOU do this to a man? Men - 'How do you feel about this'?

Another question - why bring a child into a world where its parents aren't in love and that is rife with problems stemming from its conception?

Just to clarify as well, I know my name is Glenn but I am a woman......

Answer 1

I can see what you mean, there should be a clause somewhere, where the man can say 'look, I don't want this baby so I will sign all rights over to it's mother and forgoe any of the resposibility of parenting as well as the rewards' Maybe allowing access to a medical history or something.

Not sure why a woman would want to bring a child into the world when she knows so little about it;s father, I mean a 1 night stand is hardly romantic especially when its a drunken fling. Maybe the woman is so desperate for love she thinks a baby can fill the hole - or she wants money from the government (ooohhh harsh!)

Answer 2

Would i keep the baby? Yes but i would hold the father for any kind of child support. At the same time, he does not want to support the baby, he cannot particapate in the "fun" parts either, no trips to the zoo...etc. I believe abortion is a personal decision, it is not for me but i i do think people should be able to choose. That said, a man should not be able to "force" a woman to have one and should be able to force her to carry that baby, assuming he is too take full responsiblity later for the baby, If i got pregnant by a one night stand, i would ask the father's opinion, if he did not want the baby, than so be it....Let's get that in writing...Turn over all parental rights.

Answer 3

Its just the way life goes..Everyone knows that there is ALWAYS a slight slight possibility that you can get pregnant when having sex..It doesnt seem fair to the man-No but part of being a MAN is stepping up to the responsiblity..Same goes for a woman...All animosity should go away after the birth of a healthy happy and beautiful baby-Again its called be an adult...

Also-Thats why its called no sex before marriage..It really does make sense huh..I suppose thats what you get for having one night stands..

Answer 4

But . . .but he DID make a choice--when he chose to have sex with her!

Mr. Blue put it best:

"If you get on a train in Pittsburgh that's headed for Chicago intending to get off in Cleveland, but you fall asleep and wake up in Chicago, don't be too shocked."

No one is 'entitled' to a 'free pass' on one-night stands. Any birth control method can fail, at any time. Sometimes two or even THREE methods used together at the same time fail!

These biological facts have NOTHING to do with making decisions about caring for a child, love, relationships or any other consideration. A pregnant woman makes all the decisions since it is her body. The decision the man makes is whether to play or not in the first place.

Answer 5

My husband had a one night stand (before we where together) and the girl got pregnant. He did not want the baby but he also did not want her to have an abortion. I that it is both for their faults. They both should have been more careful about who they were sleeping with and the protection they are using.She should not have to give the baby up because the father doesn't want it. Also I do not think that a woman should be able to have an abortion or put her baby up for adoption with the father being given a DNA test and agreeing to the kill or give away his baby.

Answer 6

People know that condoms fail, therefore they take that risk when they choose to use them. People should discuss what would happen if a pregnancy occured BEFORE going to bed together. Promiscuity does not relieve one of parental duties or sexual responsibility.

And while you may argue that it is not FAIR to the man, it can also be argued that it is not FAIR to the child to not be financially supported. We don't punish children for their parent's stupid choices.

And just one more word on FAIRNESS. I'd like to see the certificate that anyone got at birth that promised things in life would always be FAIR.

Answer 7

It does sound unfair, but if the mother can do it why not. IF and only IF the mother can bring the child up on her own then she should have an open relationship with the father, let him see his child if he wants, no mandatory child support, but would like to help every now and again. But if the mother cannot bring up the child on ehr own and needs the support of hte father then no its not fair. Yes its her body, but she needs to understand that hes not going to be willing to be a father and therefor not right for the child.

Bottom line it takes two to make a child, and it takes Two to raise a child.

Answer 8

i am in the exact same situation. when i told my baby's father that i was pregnant he told me that he was going to pay for me to get an abortion. i am TOTALLY against that so i told him no. i gave him absolutely no say in the matter. i told him that it was my child and i was choosing to keep it. i also told him that if he wasnt ready to be a father or didnt want to, that was fine. he didnt have to be in the babys life. there are plenty of women out there who are single mothers and doing fine. besides, there is somebody out there who is going to love and accept me and my son and we will be a family. it takes a guy to make a baby, but it takes a man to raise that baby. i am now 37 1/2 weeks pregnant and havent spoken to my babys father in over 4 months. i am not going to take him for child support or anything like that because i gave him the option to leave or to stay. it was my decision to keep the baby and that is something that i have to deal with on my own. i would never force him to be a father. to me, he is just a sperm donor and that is fine. i dont like the girls who try to force these guys to be men when they are truly little boys. guys will rarely change because of a baby and girls out there jsut have to accept that. be smart about it. if you are not ready for a baby they have other options other than condoms. obviously they dont always work. i am almost 22 years old and am not sure if i am ready for this only because ive never done it before. but its a choice that i dont have now cuz i allowed myself to get pregnant. i think that abortion is just an easy way out. what people dont realize is that the baby inside you, no matter how old it may be, deserves a chance at life. what if your mother never gave you a chance. a lot of our parents suffered because of us, but that was their choice as parents. any good mother would not get an abortion because of any guy! its just not right and the ones who do, i dont know how you live with yourselves!

Answer 9

He chose to have sex with her. It really doesnt matter that he used protection

what matters is that it didnt work. If he was not having sex with any woman that opened her legs this would not be a issue.

If he did not want to risk being a dad he should have stuck with his hand. I myself would not make him pay support. I support my own children, however, I would not have sex with someone i didnt really know.

Its the womans place to pay for 50% of the childs expense.

Answer 10

I don't think it's fair. I think that there should be a law that the father can decline paying child support, and the woman needs to inform him about keeping the child before the 3rd trimester of her pregnancy.