Is this my life??

Question

Hi my name is Sarah Jane, I moved to London a year ago (i was 18) thinking this is the begining of a new life, it was but not exactly what i had planned........My boyfriend already lived over here with his mum and i moved in with his auntie for the first few months everything was great......

then i lost my job, but his auntie let me stay with her rent free and told me i could pay her back when i had found another job i was out of work for about 2 months any money i had i had to use it for food and travel,
when i got myself a new job i moved out oweing his aunt £900 in rent then owed her another £600 for bills my parents still live in ireland but are moving to Canada in 2 weeks my boyfriend is great and i dont want to loose him but now i cant even come over to his house without his mum makin a big deal out of it,

i have no friends no money and pretty soon no were to live

i dont go to college i work temp everywere i can

am i crazy not moving to Canada???

Answer 1

What are you doing, Sarah Jane?
Are you waiting for things to progress with your boyfriend? Do you think he will marry you and then you will have a different life than you do now? If his mum is not crazy about you, don't ask for trouble by expecting more of your boyfriend than he is able to give you. It's very important that you have the support of in-laws if you hope for a long-term relationship.
Why are you temping? You are struggling along from week-to-week when what you need is a career plan, a job with a future and the commitment to make that work before you do anything else.
Your boyfriend's aunt has a right to expect to be paid. If she were a formal creditor, your credit rating would be crap but as it is, all she expects is for you to live up to your end of the bargain you had with her. Since she is not a formal creditor (a landlord or a company), it was indeed a bargain for you.
Moving to Canada to be with your parents would look like you were running away from debts you owe unless you pay your debts.
You're looking like a deadbeat unless you work to pay what you owe and avoid oweing in the future.
Adulthood means paying bills, saving money and being responsible. Your question is really a cry for help about facing those responsibilities. Unless you have a drug or alcohol problem (do you?) or a general 'I'm lazy and I can't get going' problem, you are an able-bodied person facing all the requirements that everyone else faces. No one is persecuting you - not your boyfriend's aunt and not his mother.
You will have friends, money and a place to live when you rise to the challenge of being a productive working person. Get yourself started on college. The beginning of a new life starts with having some goals beyond visiting London.

Answer 2

It depends on what you want! It definitely sounds the easier option to move to Canada with your parents! But the easiest options aren't always the best! Would you want to leave your boyfriend? If it's just the money thing talk to them, try and arrange a payment plan that would suit you both?
Try and find a permanent job, call centres tent to be good pay if you don't have any qualifications.
You could aways move to Canada your parents aren't going to close the door on you if you decided to move later on down the line.
Think about what it is you really want!
Good luck! x

Answer 3

as lame as canada is compared to london, I would go if your parents will support you. maybe you can go to college, get some skillz and then move back to london in a few yrs and get a better job. if you end up with this boyfriend at that point then it was meant to be but I don't think the fact you have a boyfriend now is a good enough reason to stay in london where you're pretty much freeloading off his aunt (sorry) and becoming destitute. why would he want you to live like that? take some time off in canada, get your s$%t together and then go back.

Answer 4

Go with your parents, pay back what you can a little at a time and keep a receipt each time until you've paid what you consider you really do owe them.

Don't stay here without back up from your family at such a young age.

If you're parents want you with them GO...

I was unwanted and unable to be with mine at your age and married far too young and never had my freedom or my single days, I can't go back and start again, I'm far too old.

You can and must... this is not the life you had expected and not the one you need... as a mother of much older daughters, four to be exact and two adult sons... I'm telling you quite firmly... go home to you family and go with them and make a lovely life.

If this guy loves you, let him make the effort to follow and prove he is capable of caring for you if you had a family in the future. If he can't, or wont, he isn't worthy of you.

God bless.

Answer 5

You can still move to Canada if you decide things are just to tough in London and especially without your family. Just stick it out a bit longer things may change. Maybe you should think about more what you really want to do with your future, job wise.

Answer 6

wow tough one, cant believe his aunt actually took money off you when she said you could live there rent free, why could'nt you live with the boyfriend?
if he invited you over you should be stopping with him,maybe he shouldve talked to his mum before doing this instead of him making you move over here in the first place without thinking what it was going to do to you

id quickly think about how you want your life to be hun,if you cant see yourself in a long term relationship with the b\f, and no proper job or anywhere to live, and of course no friends
id go with your parents hun

good luck

came to edit, you owed her 900 for 2 months? and still owe her 600 for bills, does she live in a palace that is way too much hun especially for ONLY 2 months no one pays that much money for bills in 2 months, dont care who they are
sorry to say this hun i would just go home and forget about paying her, shes had her share off you too much too

Answer 7

His Aunt should realise that you are struggling. It was nice of her to help you out though and you should try in the future to pay her back.
You should move to Canada, its a cruel world out there and you should take advantage of living at home with your mum and dad while you can (whilst working of course) Youre still young, go and see a bit of the world, you can always come back.
Besides, do you want his mum to be your future mother in law......oooh dear.

Answer 8

You should move to Canada but you still owe the Aunt for being a good person to you.

Answer 9

If your boyfriend's not supporting you then dump him and move to Canada. I would love to have the opportunity but I'm not eligible. Grab it with both hands as there are plenty of other blokes in the world, and it strikes me that he's not helping you much anyway.

Answer 10

its hard but yeah i think you should move over to canada , if your boyfriend loved you he would try and move over there with you , it`s a question you have to answer im afraid mate , it`s to easy for someone to say yes or no , you are the one that has to deal with it all , good luck