And why do they keep on forgiving them?
2007-03-10 06:39:21 · 15 answers · asked by purringout 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Women who fall into this type of pattern share a common trait, which is a weak sense of self. They are more afraid of isolation, loneliness, instability and being unloved than they are of their abuser's fists. These fears keep them locked into psychological slavery.
Excuse the vulgarity of this example, but it's the classic pimp/ho dynamic. A ho doesn't really need a pimp, but she believes that she does and he successfully persuades her that she does. So she pays a price for a service she has been led to believe she needs, through his manipulation of her weak sense of self.
2007-03-10 06:49:11 · answer #1 · answered by Wonderin' 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many women are scared to leave thier partner b/c they might be afraid of what that husband/boyfriend will do to her or her family. Women may also be dependent upon them whether it be children, finances, place to stay, etc. I've heard that women will leave and go back to that man up to about 7 or 8 times before they decide to break it off. There is also a cycle of violence that takes place. 1st there is a honeymoon stage where everything is perfect. 2nd there is a tension phase were the person is on pins and needles trying not to upset the partner. Then there is 3rd phase where the abuse happens. Then it cycles back to the honeymoon phase and the cycle keeps turning and turning and the abuse gets worse.
If anyone does need help with this there are services (free) in many cities that will offer counseling.
And for anyone in this situation IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, that you are being treated this way.
2007-03-10 14:52:39 · answer #2 · answered by mudpie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you keep going back? The mates to the abuser do not feel confident in themselves for some reason and feel that the abuser is the only one who gives them support or need in life. The abuser has them believing that they are the only person who will love them. To keep the mate around the abuser may tell their mate they are sorry and won't do it again only to abuse again with the repeat as before in circles. You abused?
2007-03-13 05:23:55 · answer #3 · answered by AlbeFree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AHH! been ther done that.
I didn't know how to let go. He told me I'd never make it, and was too stupid to live alone, he called me names, for no reason, dumped me numerous times, I forgave him, but he didn't deserve it. He did physically abuse me a bit, but I was too stupid to see that he was controlling my life.
He also threatened that if I dumped him, he would kill himself. So I was in love, and trapped. BUt as the love started to fade, because I realised I could live without this freak controlling me like some kind of puppet.
All in all, he never killed himself, and though it's selfish, I wished he either would have moved on sooner, or gotten so close to suicide, that it would have stunned him that he was a jerk.
As far as forgiveness goes? absolutely not. When someone has that big of an impact on your life, when you have to go through months of recovery just because of all the pain, he doesn't deserve to be forgiven. No one that hurts you that bad does.
Luckily now, I have a perfect boyfriend who loves and cares about me. I guess it really shows that there are always better people out there. Because there was for me.
2007-03-10 14:45:05 · answer #4 · answered by Love is Patient, Love is Kind ♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many reasons, one is the kids, a lot of women will go back because of the kids, money is another -the woman may have little if any money to get by on, also the fear of failure -she may feel that she somehow failed to keep her marriage together, low self esteem, she believes him when he says he has changed.
2007-03-10 14:43:42 · answer #5 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because the man will tear down the womans self esteem. And in the end she will think that she doesn't deserve to have happiness, and that she can't get any better than the guy she is with.
2007-03-10 15:22:17 · answer #6 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I ask my friend that same ? and she is not married and has 4 kids with 3 different guys her now boyfriend beats her for stupid things and she supports him I think they have low self esteem if they are that dome to let a guy lay a hand on them i will never do that to myself.
2007-03-10 14:50:25 · answer #7 · answered by Patty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All different kinds of reasons. Hundreds. Long relationships...he broke her spirit....don't know where to go....what about the kids....how can i look after us....i know he loves me deep down....he will change.....i love him..he says he loves me...he feels sooo guilty..he hates himself for it.... It's horrible to say but sometimes women are weak because they love soo much. Women have a gentle nature which applies to most men too...their not all monsters and their are a few demon witch bitches in society too
2007-03-10 15:23:19 · answer #8 · answered by lisa_t197 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time there are co-dependent. They convince themselves that the abuser really does love them.
2007-03-10 14:43:08 · answer #9 · answered by jings51 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a mental ting they see themselves as worthless and think thats how everyone will treat them they are too afraid to get help and too forgiving not to forgive
2007-03-10 14:43:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋