Can you write an amusing paragraph or 2 or more about a BLIND DATE, that includes these phrases?

Question

(No. This is NOT a homework assignment...just a little fun on Yahoo.)
1. Ok, don't get me started on gravity.
2. Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?
Fine! Be murky!
3. You ARE speaking metaphorically.....right?!
4. Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback.
5. I'm sorry, there's laughing in my head.
6. Goodbye normal person. Hello psychopath.

Answer 1

Even before becoming a nurse, I never trusted conventional wisdom, so it was only natural that after getting my degree I started seriously studying everything "alternative". Living in NYC, the best place to learn about 'new age' anything is at the New Life Expo, held twice a year at the New Yorker Hotel(next one is March 30-April1),where you can meet and greet a plethora (luv that word!) of mind, body and spirit "experts"in the field of alternative and vibrational medicine, but I do digress!
So I'm at the last Expo, enjoying all the craziness, when I "sense" a hostile glare coming my way. There are 2 youngish girls(maybe22 or so) staring at my 'Big' hair and pale pink lipstick and smirking. I overhear one say "whoa, whoa, prom night flashback" , while the other laughs. I'm wondering why these two not half bad looking girls are attacking my 'look" when I see that the poor dears are merely jealous! Since I AM old enough to be their mother, I send them one of my best Farrah Fawcet smiles which seems to totally confuse them. "Hi ladies,You both look gorgeous and this is a great expo, isn't it?" They nod dumbly and say thanks.As I continue walking, Im sorry, (but)there's laughing in my head! Kill them with kindness as my mother always said!
I get a "free sample" from one of the psychics who tells me my aura is 'murky'. He's circling me and making hand gestures "no" I say "stop cleansing my aura, just leave my aura alone okay? He looks insulted. "Fine! be murky! he airily states as he moves on to the next 'victim'!
I see my friend Errol Flynn (thats really his name!!) the massage therapist who is at EVERY expo. He tells me I am "as sweet and invigorating as a spring rain in a quiet forest" Hmmm, I love this guy!! You ARE speaking metaphorically....right? I say . His eyes are fastened to my breasts which are apparently defying gravity at the moment and ok, dont get me started on gravity, it seems like everthing I own lately is starting to go south( except for these two!!) I stop and get a twenty minute session of reflexology with Flynn and I feel great. I think it even worked to clear my aura because when I get my aura photograph a little later(at the aura photograph booth, of course!!) it is not murky at all!
I cant wait for the next expo! And... its only two weeks away (march30-April 1st) For those three days, twice a year, I can say" Goodbye normal person, hello psychopath!!!" Hope to see you all there!

Answer 2

You really don't know me do you, our first date, blind at that, and you want to to ask me questions, you can ask me anything but just because I am short " don't get me started on gravity OK' I had enough of those jokes. As we continued through the evening he asked " what is that pitch fork I can see?' 'Oh you are speaking metaphorically ..... right, Oh no I meant a smiley, That's our Cathedral your pointing at"

AS we became more used to eat other he began to lick my ear, " Oh stop" I said, 'Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay' with a little more pressure I began to like it so I whispered, " Fine! be murky" I began laughing, the laughing became worst, He asked why am I laughing, I said, 'it's not be, I'm sorry, there's laughing in my head. I'm not really laughing, it's my head" Well, "Whoa, Whoa,"he said, your the second one, "Whoa Whoa prom night flashback" I must say "Goodnight to you my blind date, thanks for a look into you mind" with that he walked away, leaving me stranded, than he shouted, "Goodbye normal person, Hello psychopath" Not sure who he was calling psychopath, me or him. Oh well that's life.

Answer 3

mom...u need a new bra...u were so embarrassing when my new boyfriend was over.
new boyfriend?tell me about the blind date.
well when we first sat down to the table the waitor started talking about his aura and he was like Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?
Fine! Be murky! SO i was like ok....? and then he told me i had a red stain on my dress and i was like 3. You ARE speaking metaphorically.....right?! he was its ketsup on your back. and the waitor went to wipe it off and said I'm sorry, there's laughing in my head. and after that we juz sed
Goodbye normal people. Hello psychopaths.

Answer 4

specific i will! gimme a jiffy. i would be outstanding back! ….i will’t have self assurance you caved! HAHA ok, ok. It replaced right into a awful humorous tale. I’m sorry! supply me ten minutes, ten awful minutes to describe that I didn’t lie to your mate. certainly, I wasn’t mendacity! IT replaced into STELLA ARTOIS! Huh?? WHAT DID you're saying?? NOWAYJOSE! i replaced into not mendacity! i replaced into JOKING!! Scroll up! do you prefer to be responsive to why I lied? WHY? WHY do you prefer to be responsive to? Wouldn’t this be a large international if lack of self assurance and desperation made us greater beautiful? certainly, you couldn’t be greater beautiful to me NOW than you have ever been! You’re like a sort of creatures in Greek mythology who’s 0.5-goat! And…simply by fact of this i admire you WillyMine! hehe .. i'm a ravin_lunatic fo sho!