I have been with my hubby for almost 4 years & we have been having some problems. For the past week I have not beenstaying at the house with him. I love him, but I'm tired of all the hurt in our relationship. I hurt when I'm with him & I hurt when I'm not. There is no other guy in my life or no one else in his. We talked for so long last night & he wnts to make a decision on wether or not I'm going to come home today & deep in my heart when ask myself that question I find that my heart is silent. Please help me..?
2007-03-10 05:09:16 · 15 answers · asked by babygirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has gotten physical in the past, but it has not happened in a while. He gets very jelous. He will not give me more time, i have tried that. He wants my decision today. I feel presured into making the chioce. I don't want to wait to long & loose him & i don't want to go back feeling pushed & regret it?
2007-03-10 05:22:51 · update #1
Hi , i know how you feel as i went though a tough time with my husband for years but i loved him then and i love him now. I hope we are over the worst of it. I know how you feel you get sick of the hurt and you want to walk away but your heart won't let you. You feel so alone!! .......... try some couples councelling it may help in time. your heart will open up again in time. You are protecting your self from the hurt. Talk to him explain to him how you feel and how numb your heart is and that you can't face being hurt anymore. Then he has to decide if he will come to councelling with you. Give it one last go, tell him you need to be apart for a little while . Good luck. I really mean it I know what a dark place you are in now. I hope either way it gets better for you.
2007-03-10 05:26:55 · answer #1 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should be understanding that you are going though a rough time, why does he need to know so badly? You should try counseling as you said that you talked and it hasn't changed anything. What hurt is there? You said that he was physical in the past, but is it his jealous nature that you don't like? I would talk to him some more, and go back and see how you feel, if you are uncomfortable in the house and just can't stand it then leave, but I think that you have made your decision already as you are already trying a semi separation and there are still doubts. I would give it one more time, marriage isn't perfect and it takes work, and if he is willing to work on it too then maybe you all have a chance.
2007-03-10 05:26:39 · answer #2 · answered by Hawaiisweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for almost 5 years same problem we faced so some of he hint i will tell u to continue your married life with lot of love and happy life. First i would like to tell u that if you truely love ur life partner then you have to care him a lot for example if he start fighting with words dont answer back to back. keep silent then if you want to say sorry keep some chit on the table where he sleep and expresss your feeling by saying sorry and always remember married is a relaitionship with very strong bond to each other and if we care each other that bond grow in a very happy life.
I would like to suggest please go and stay wih him because if you stay away with him from that day gap will occupy in ur married life and most probably he will try to find love in another girl.
Same he has to care you and appreciate your effort and feeling . I would suggest try this way once and pls dont rush to get result soon please wait for right time yes he will understand ur caring nature.
2007-03-11 04:31:03 · answer #3 · answered by Janasheen 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you made any changes in the relationship? or he just wants you to come home to the same ol BS? You both need to get to some counseling. And I know your tired of it. But your married NOW. You can either fight through this or, stop hiding form your fear and just get the divorce. Because you sound like your afraid of actually telling him the truth. Or your afraid of telling your self the truth.
But seriously there has to be some kind of changes in order to stop the hurting.
2007-03-10 05:19:14 · answer #4 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him you need more time, I would recomend that you find a counselor or a therapist and make an apt without him. Sometimes this will allow you to make a decision just by talking it out with someone who most likely has had experience with this type of situation. I wish you the best.
2007-03-10 05:15:07 · answer #5 · answered by zoeybean 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to the man, a 3rd party situation like marriage counslar.
Tell him exactly what you said here, and tell him that it is real love but you need to have standards where neither one of you hurt only love. But I can tell you,16 years of marriage has taught me life has to much hurt and your marriage should be your release from that and neither one of you hurt intentionally either one of you.
Good Luck to you and hope this helps you!
2007-03-10 05:16:08 · answer #6 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry your feeling this way it really isnt nice i have been like this for some time 2 although i havent left and it always raises it s ugly head again ...
you have to ask yourselves if your happy with one another and are you both willing to put up with these problems and will they go away maybe you will find the answer then ..
good luck
2007-03-10 05:18:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried marriage counselling? That's the only advice I can give because you didn't say what your problems are. No one can tell you to go or stay without knowing the details.
2007-03-10 05:17:51 · answer #8 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On a sheet of paper, HONESTLY write down the good qualitys and the bad qualities of the relationship. Look hard at them and base your decision on that.
2007-03-10 05:15:25 · answer #9 · answered by acedelux 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds to me like you need to give yourself a little more time Sweety before you go back. I just don't think you're ready!
2007-03-10 05:15:35 · answer #10 · answered by kathy l 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋