I just moved out with a new roommate-he's very young and I fear the worst will turn out-any advice?

Question

I'm 23 and he's 20. Everything's in my name and I'm worried I'm gonna get screwed. I gave him a month free to get settled, but he has his friends over and eat all my food and leave the dishes, lock my cat in a room away from litter box, broke my fouton, etc. I don't have any other roommate options-please help. Should we write a rule list? A contract? SOS.

Answer 1

You certainly have to confront this now before too much time passes and he gets used to living this way. Yes, draw up a contract. Free board is OK, while he settles in, but definitely, no free food...he has to supply that himself. You are not his mother, you are his roommate....he must be responsible for himself.....You are being a good friend and trying to make it easier for him and he sounds like he is taking your kindness for granted. You will get screwed if you dont put some guidelines down now...not tomorrow, right now...dont put it off because it wont get better. He is now living independently, and with independence comes responsibility and if he is allowed to treat you and your generosity with disrespect then he is learning nothing about independence....he may as well move back to his parents place because it seems to me he is not ready to be independent, nor take responsibility for himself. He is an adult and he needs to respect basic rules of living in shared accommodation. He needs a dose of reality. Maybe you could say to him....you understood his predicament hence allowing him to live for a month with free board, but you are not his mother and unless he respects you, then you will have to ask him to move out. Tell him the moth is a probationary period and if it doesnt work out, then you will expect him to find alternative accommodation. It's in your name, so he hasnt got a leg to stand on. Sit down with him, give him a list of your expectations....see how he reacts. If he still continues to be selfish then give him his marching orders. You are a kind person, but that doesnt mean he is allowed to walk all over you....Get it straight now or you are going to find yourself in all sorts of difficulty. This is your life too...you can give so much, but when it becomes an issue of you being used...then put your foot down and put a stop to it.

Be strong...he is the one who is going to be disadvantaged if you get mad, so it would be in his bests interests to respect you and the rules you expect him to live by.

Answer 2

What? no he locked the kitty in another room away from the liter box! ya that's seriously is NOT RIGHT!

Look, you need to get rid of this person. He's bad news and he's taking you for a ride. You need to find a respectable, responsible roommate who is SERIOUS about being a roommate. And one that even likes cat's.
You can right a rule list but it sounds like this little sap is on his own quest. My guess is he'll probably have a hard time coming up with the rent. You need to PUT YOUR FOOD AWAY FROM HIM! let him buy his own. Other wise I say get rid of him, start looking for a new roomate ASAP!

Answer 3

You are setting yourself up for a financial downfall. This guy is already showing a very immature behavior. Do you honestly think he will honor any kind of agreement when he hasn't respected your property up to now? I have had a daughter and two nieces already experience this with the same result - it cost them more than what it would have if they had lived alone and paid everything to begin with. Young guys are irresponsible and aren't dependable or they would be able to live on their own to begin with. Don't make a mistake here. Tell him to find another place to live immediately before you are forced to move back in with mom and dad due to the bills he will leave you to pay on your own.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

In order to protect yourself from having to go to court, you should have some sort of contract drawn up as to who pays what or what portion they are going to pay. As for food, that is something that should be discussed between the two of you, not necessarily put in writing. Courtesy is respecting you, your stuff and replacing what was damaged, used/eaten.

Answer 6

Definately set some boundaries and ground rules. If he has any decency he will replace your food and pay for repair/replacement of your futon. Maybe you need to restrict number of friends/visits unless he can be more responsible and respectful.

Answer 7

How did you meet him or is he your brother If he has no money & is sponging off you a contract won't do much good If it were me I'd move out I know thats hard but the reality is you can't afford him

Answer 8

draw a contract

Answer 9

Tell him to leave, and Invite me, I'll behave well