the thing is i want i need him to give me money for his baby for the next 18 years but the thing is i dont want him to get to see his son bec ever seance he kick me out when i was 11 weeks along he not asked me 1 time to see how i was doing or the baby i did findly email him the ultrasound pictures to let him see them and he was nice and thanks but that he cdent make them out that and his other kids he has 2 more that live with him and they r like real mean to each other and i dont want my child to be in that kinda of place and i cant get someone to go over there and watch him with my child bec they cant inless i can proove that he is mean to his other kids or to my unborn child and he not it just not a good parent i dont think but anyway so is there a way i can get maney for my son with out him getting to see him bec i dont think he desives it after the way he has been treating me so can i and also about him seeing my son r son i dont want him to is there anyway i can not let him
2007-03-10 04:33:16 · 37 answers · asked by ? 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
my soon to b born son is not in any danger from his dad i just dont want him to be able to see his soon to b born son that it
2007-03-10 06:18:00 · update #1
Why don't you give the baby up for adoption? to a 2 parent married couple?
2007-03-10 04:37:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 3⤋
Well, you basically have to chose one or the other at this point. If a father is ordered to pay child support, he will also get visitation rights. If you don't want him to see your child, then you can't go after him for child support. If neither of those options are good for your baby, then I would strongly suggest giving it up for adoption. You may be able to have an open adoption where you can still see your baby. The most important thing is your baby's health and safety. You obviously don't think that the father is a safe person for your baby to grow up with. It also sounds like maybe you aren't financially able to care for a baby. I know it's hard, but you have to do what's best for your child. Also, you still have 7 months to figure something out. That might be enough time to figure out how to support the baby on your own or with the help of family or friends. You might also check into government programs such as WIC. There are a lot of programs out there to help mothers like you if you're willing to go looking for them.
2007-03-16 08:55:23 · answer #2 · answered by Kimberly N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Kim i am sorry to read about your situation but i must tell you that ; you cannot be thinking about yourself right now you have to think about the baby. I see where you say he kicked you out and stuff like that, he'll regret it one day trust me. And this is the time that you should open your eyes and see that he don't deserve you. He cannot kick you out when you are pregnant with his child thats just wrong. You just need to stay focus and see that you have a child to think about. Every decision that you make now will affect him in the future. As the part go for cutting him off and not letting him see your child and collect money to support the baby. I don't think thats gonna work he's gonna push to see his child and the court will probably grant him visitation rights. If it do reach court and you plead your case about your uncomfort with his other children around the baby, the court will grant a social worker to investigate his living conditions. But i wouldn't advise you to go down that pathway you can end up getting emotional trauma. Because suppose you even loose you child after all thats said and done, we can't have that now can we? Just think about this and don't make any rash decision and remember a baby needs both parents you don't have to be involved with him but you guys can have a mutual aggrement whereas its just about the baby nothing else. And if he wants to get in you pants again RUN THE BOY, men aren't worth it sweetheart. You have a life inside of you that should be your world. Good luck and be good
2007-03-12 10:54:54 · answer #3 · answered by Sexyness 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every child needs a father, but there is nothing you can do if the child's father doesn't want the job. If he kicked you out when you were pregnant, disregards the fact that you are carrying his child and is not taking proper care of the children that he has - why would you want to involve him in your child's life?
My advice to is to move on... Have your baby! This is a special blessing from God. Be the one responsible person in this child's life and give him the best you can. He deserves it - and so do you.
This may be tough, but if you seek child support from this man then he would be entitled to visitation. If you don't want this person in his life don't go this route. Go to your local department of social services and find out which benefits you are entitled to (the system is in place to help people that are having problems just like yours). Also look into job training so you can find a way to support yourself and your son. Rely on yourself, God and your family (if you have supportive family).
One day you will be back on your feet, with a great job, a husband and a beautiful family and it will all be because of your hard work and perseverance. The child's father will be a distant memory. Don't look back, look forward.
Best wishes to you and your baby boy!
2007-03-10 05:00:45 · answer #4 · answered by Heart is my Art 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tfirst thing you need to do is worry about you and your son. The second thing you need to do is CONTACT AN ATTORNEY....they have legal aid in all counties in all states and they will represent you for FREE OR NO CHARGE.
If you truly want to raise this baby on your own....do it....but if he's a piece of crap like you're saying, then you need to take his sorry butt to court and get things established.
You can wait until the baby is born and contact the Attorney General's office in your state...However, they will AUTOMATICALLY file for child support on the baby, especially if you are on ANY type of Govenment assistance program aside from Food Stamps. They will provide the DNA testing, EVERYTHING because every child has the RIGHT to know who their father is, POS or NOT and to be supported by his father. Whether he exercises that right or not, that's on him....not you.
If you can prove that he's abusive, then they will set the visitation as supervised, if not....then you go by the visitation Order that is supplied.
It's called SUIT AFFECTING THE PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP AND ESTABLISHING PATERNITY and it doesn't get filed until the child is born.
NO, I'M NOT AN ATTORNEY NOR AM I GIVING LEGAL ADVICE!!!!!
2007-03-15 14:38:50 · answer #5 · answered by kogoinnutz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation.
If you want the father to pay child support, he has a legal right to see the child. If you don't want him to see the child, you get no money.
If you choose to keep him out of the child's life, you can leave the "Father:" blank on the birth certificate and, unless he sues for custody and to be proven as the parent, he has no legal rights to the child.
If you put him on the certificate and file for money, then unless he has been abusive or can be proven unfit as a parent in court, there's no way around him seeing the child if he so chooses.
2007-03-16 06:12:42 · answer #6 · answered by Holly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you are going through. I went through the same with my first child. His dad is ordered to pay child support through the court. Visitation is a separate issue. They have to pay child support no matter what. When he tried to get visitation-they gave him temporary visitation-then set a court date for setting it up permanently. While waiting for the new court date-I built my case against him-without a lawyer. I pulled TBI records-criminal background check-found out he had 19 arrests!!! He lived with his parents and they are drunks and so is he! I found out he had a wreck-he was driving on a suspended driver's license and drinking. I had the state trooper in court to testify to this. His rights were suspended and he was told he had to clean up his act-then he could file for rights. He hasn't seen him in 1 1/2 years. The problem with child support though, it is hard to enforce. He has changed jobs a lot, so they can't keep track. Right now he has not paid since January. He is in contempt of court and the state is going to prosecute. They said he could go to jail and lose his drivers licence. It is a sticky situation-Good luck!
2007-03-16 03:54:05 · answer #7 · answered by orangecat43 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to receive money for your child then like it or not the father has the right to see his son too. However, if he is as bad of a man as you believe he is then he will not even want to see his child anyway. Good luck to you and your baby boy. May your circumstances soon change:)
2007-03-17 15:11:13 · answer #8 · answered by Tina M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is his legal duty to provide care for the child, so if he does not do so volunteerily then get help from the authorities.
In Canada it is not the right of one parent to deny access to the other parent unless they are deemed unfit by the court.
The child is both of yours which is why you are making monetary claims.
You cannot take the money and reject the man.
This is a personal issue and has to be dealt with separately from the rights of the child.
To many children grow up not knowing their parents or having severed ties with them when a break up occurs.
You have a very mature decision to make.
Do what is right for your child.
2007-03-17 10:42:23 · answer #9 · answered by makeda m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not trying to be rude, but if you do not think he is a good parent, why did you run the risk of getting pregnant by him? You can not change the fact he is the father now. If you want to pursue child support you just may have to accept the fact that he will be a part of this child's life, he has legal rights. His rights do not change because he doesn't want to be with, I think that is what I am gathering here. The only way to try to keep him out of this babies life is to either not put his name on the birth certificate, for go support, and hope he doesn't pursue it or sue for sole custody. I really think you should talk this over with a neutral party before you decide what you are going to do with everything.
2007-03-10 04:40:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Quite frankly what you want and how you feel are not the issue. The issue should be what is in the best interest of your child. How fair is it to your child for you to decide his dad isn't good enough to see him. He was good enough for you to lay down and sleep with knowing that you could get pregnant and that he already had other children. So tell me where is your head? You are entitled to child support and every child deserves to be taken care of. I think you are being selfish and should really start thinking about what is best for your child.
2007-03-17 10:59:49 · answer #11 · answered by badbeat1970 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋