2007-03-10 04:11:51 · 9 answers · asked by stoney_buccs 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If your girls kids arent happy, then you will never be happy. Think about it and if you have nothing that you will be leaving behind then go for it. But think abut your son as well, what does he want! If hes ok with the fact of moving to Illinois then there should be nothing holding you back but if he doesnt want to leave then you should think long and hard and ask him what he wants and how he feels. He should be your number 1 priority before your girl and her kids, no offense!
2007-03-17 18:13:18 · answer #1 · answered by *HILWA* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't give the ages or the situation fo your son and your girls.
Where are the services the best for the children you are raising? I'm guessing your daughters are in Illinois and they don't want to move to where you are - New Hampshire. So you feel like you have to move to Illinois where they are.
Has your son ever been to Illinois? If the next crisis is that he must move back to Illinois because life is a living hell in Illinois for you, could you move back to NH easily? I'm guessing it wouldn't be that easy but I don't know for sure.
Where is your job? Which situation offers the most stability to the least stable of all of you (and that includes you). Unfortunately, you aren't going to be able to please everybody unless Illinois is some magic place that turns out to be wonderful move for your son.
Moves tend to be traumatic - his friends are going to be left way way behind. He will face a place where he has siblings but no friends. Are your girls going to be his anchor in a new situation or do they hardly know him and they're only thinking of how they don't want to leave THEIR friends behind.
What about just spending summers in Illinois? How about renting out your house for the time you are away: let's say a year at the most - and making it clear that you will be moving back depending on how everyone adjusts. Then, if at the end of that year, you truly can't wait to get out of Illinois, you can pack everyone up and move back. Your son would be back in his old school system.
Remember that girls tend to be the drama queens in situations like this. However, being the new girls in school is not like facing a new environment alone. They may be in for some new friendships that will make them happy to be in NH. And they have their family.
Be very very wary of succumbing to pressure from demanding daughters - they are just kids, like any other kids. They don't know what good things are coming up and they like to remain in the groups they are in now in school. Real life situations have more dimensions than that!
2007-03-18 11:55:24 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your girl may not always be your girl.... but your son will always be your son....
Make certain your decisions are the best for you and your son first... everything else comes after.
Here are some thoughts to ponder before moving...
If your girls kids don't want to move, is it because of their surroundings or because of the relationship they don't want their mother to move into? Are you comfortable enough with this relationship to move into unfamiliar surroundings and thrive, even if the relationship turns sour? What are you leaving in your State? i.e.. selling property, reducing assets, cashing in funds in order to make a major move? What supports do have set in place for stability of your lifestyle right now, will you have those similar supports in Illinois? How much distance would be placed between your son and his biological mother? Would you be financially responsible for making certain your son would be able to commute back to visit his mother? Moving from one State to another when children of a divorced couple are involved, everything is much more complicated than you would think it is. Carefully assess all angles before making any permanent decisions.
2007-03-18 11:42:14 · answer #3 · answered by Craptacular Wonderment 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does your son feel? If he's agreeable and gets along with the girls I'd say risk it. If your son says he doesn't want to, I'd think twice or try a comprimise. Your son will always be your son but sometimes relationships end even years down the road. If you;re really, really in love I don't know if you'd be asking this question...if you really love them both, then write down all the pros and cons and go over them with those who are important in this decision.
2007-03-18 11:45:22 · answer #4 · answered by Helen L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its really up to you, But let me tell you one thing. There's nothing like being with your family. I know that for a fact.
2007-03-17 09:29:31 · answer #5 · answered by curt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what u think is the bets for u & ur kids.
2007-03-18 09:27:25 · answer #6 · answered by saltnsaffron 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no y punish one and giv the others what they want
2007-03-18 09:47:43 · answer #7 · answered by coolcat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know... should you??.... does the pros outweights the risk?
2007-03-10 12:37:12 · answer #8 · answered by gina B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone should stay where they are right now
2007-03-16 15:57:59 · answer #9 · answered by Jo Blo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋