My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 years already. I'm very much in love with her. She loves me also. We are both 19. She's 4 months pregnant. We are in our 2nd year of college. I still want to keep seeing her. I know I will be with her no matter what but I don't want to spend my money on our child. Isn't there anything we can do? I hardly have enough to even spend on my own stuff since I have to pay for college classes and class materials. Same thing with my girlfriend. I was wondering how come my girlfriend is starting to be a lot more needy? I treat her (as a queen) the same way as before she was pregnant.
2007-03-10 03:58:32 · 14 answers · asked by Ansem 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Well first of all, you shouldn't be having sex if you're not ready to take care of the responsibilities that come with it. Bottom line is your life has changed. That's what having a baby does. To me you sound very selfish saying you don't want to spend the money. It's very possible that you may not be able to stay in school with a baby because news flash: babies are expensive. As far as your girlfriend being more "needy". She's just pregnant and with that comes more hormones and more emotions. You really need to evaluate your way of thinking because once that baby comes. It won't be all about you, it will be all about your child.
2007-03-10 04:06:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know you're only 19 but you're going to get a fair few harsh answers to your question I think. You were both old enough to have sex and you say you love each other so maybe you should look into exactly what happens to a fetus during a termination before you make any decisions. Especially at 4 months pregnant, that is too far down the line to have the usual termination. I think at this stage of pregnancy your girlfriend would have to have an injection that stops the baby's heart and then give birth to the dead baby. I don't understand however why you've stated that you still want to keep seeing her as if we should be impressed. Maybe I've just read it wrong. Maybe you should both see a counsellor together.
2007-03-10 12:04:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i understand the shock of being so young and suddenly you have a whole world of responsibility put on you. I was 19 when i got pregnant with my first. I was married to an older man though so money was no problem, but it was still scary knowing that i had a life i was responsible for. I also became clingy because when your pregnant you feel vulnerable and a lil scared that your partner doesnt find u attractive anymore. My ex started beating me when i was 5 month along so i left him and had to raise her alone for 2 years until i remarried and every dime that i made i put into things for her. He wasnt paying child support and had signed over his rights. The only shock was, i didnt mind spending everything on her. You'll feel soo good watching your baby play with toys you worked so hard to get him/her. As for now you may have to get a part time job and get some assistance for yourselves until you finish your degree. Its gonna be hard but my sis and her hubby did it and they are doing great now. Pamper your girl because honeslty she needs it. Keep reassuring her that you love her and that you'll do what it takes to support your child! RU guys planning on marriage? Some college campuses have special room and board for married students, talk to a counselor at your school and weigh your options!
2007-03-10 12:40:45 · answer #3 · answered by marinewife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all if you were the one to get her pregnant you need to pay for that baby. Because you guys had fun making the baby you have to take responsibility in taking care of the baby too, it's not fair to the baby that you don't want to spend money towards taking care of your child. i think you are being selfish! if you two love each other then thats good, keep loving her cause shes going need it. You need to be doing some prioritizing right now,between what is more important, your baby with the women you love or your schooling which you can always come back to??
2007-03-10 12:07:05 · answer #4 · answered by freebirdsflyin 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I cant belive you are being so immature about this. you dont want to spend you money on your baby, what the hell is that BS. its your baby you have to atleast help saport it. I cant belive you STUFF is more important then what you baby is going to need. Nad you girlfriend is getting more needy because shes pregnant! There is no way around her being needy or you having to spand you money on the baby!!! So grow up and become a man!
2007-03-10 12:46:18 · answer #5 · answered by Chrissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe that you have the right not to be the childs father. Meaning, you should have the right to say, I don't want to be a father and I don't want to pay for it. If she chooses to keep the child, then she can choose to be a single mom. Unfortunately, in many countries you do not have this right. What can you do? Express to your girlfriend your desire not to be a father. Give her information about adoption. It might be the responsible choice considering your situation. She's needy because she's hormonal and pregnant. Pregnancy has the tendency to cause mental illness as well. Heh, just be supportive and if you have no money now, well you won't have to pay any, but if she goes after you for child support, given she keeps the damn thing, then too bad. Next time, use condoms and be sure you're not having sex with a woman who wants kids, if you don't want them.
2007-03-10 12:08:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
By making the CHOICE to unzip your pants and drop your drawers you chose ALL of the consquences of that act and one of those consequences are pregnancy. Now you have to stand up and take RESPONSIBILTY for YOUR actions and that means paying for your actions. As the old saying goes "In order to do the dance you have to pay the piper" Your girlfriend needs more money because of doctor bills and pretty soon the hospital bill and child support...this was a choice that YOU made. Deal with it.
2007-03-10 12:04:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
thats great that you love her and want to stick by her side but in reality you are going to have to spend "your" money on "your" baby. that fact that you are already complaining about it isnt a good sign but its understandable that you are a little selfish being that you are still so young. talk with your girlfriend about this and start thinking of ways to have more income because you are going to need it. good luck!
2007-03-10 12:16:25 · answer #8 · answered by Krystina G 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What? Your problem is that you don't wnat to spend money on your baby? Doesn't that seem a little selfish to you?
And your girlfriend is being needy because she needs you
2007-03-10 12:02:42 · answer #9 · answered by cigaro19 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh my gosh, could you be any more selfish? You obviously had sex with her and enjoyed that benefit and she got pregnant. That child is now your MUTUAL responsibility. You need to man-up and take ownership of that and realize that you need to support her and YOUR baby. You do NOT have the option of walking away from her because you got her pregnant.
2007-03-10 12:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋