I wrote this, what do you think?
A blissful breeze,
a gentle heartbeat,
a silent breath,
a single tear,
is it a friendship,
or is it love?
whatever it is,
It hurts.
2007-03-10 03:28:04 · 8 answers · asked by Rhode Islanda 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
If you think the poem is good, it really doesn't matter what I think in the long run does it?
2007-03-10 03:40:12 · answer #1 · answered by hobo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is great!
very fast paced, and the end is a good shift from passionate to painful. But maybe the last line you could find another word for hurts. it feels a little blunt.
2007-03-10 15:28:10 · answer #2 · answered by teh c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very nice, except for the last line
2007-03-10 11:34:29 · answer #3 · answered by nalla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very nice, you've captured the essence of your relationship. love hurts, but it also brings great joy. maybe you can give us another poem when you figure it out.
2007-03-10 11:31:31 · answer #4 · answered by ♪ ♫ ☮ NYbron ☮ ♪ ♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to many subjects what are you really trying to say?Is it a lost of a frienship or a love?
2007-03-10 11:35:28 · answer #5 · answered by blue2602001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice.
2007-03-10 11:32:44 · answer #6 · answered by idog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice
2007-03-10 11:34:37 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good... but it could use some work
2007-03-10 11:36:10 · answer #8 · answered by tumble_chic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋