My bloke belted me all round the house last night and I have absolutely had enough. I have counted my bruises this morning and I have at least eighteen. He thinks I am sleeping with someone else, even though I never have and have not been looking.
Can't you just come home and put yer strong arms around me and tell me that everything is gonna be okay whillst stroking my hair and holding me close?
Can men just do this?
Sorry. Feeling a bit wounded and scared of the future and down.
2007-03-10 03:16:31 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I can't just go. My kids live with my mum just down the road. There is really no room for me too and it's like I'm admitting defeat if I go there (she knew he was a bad 'un). I would rather the kids be safe than me. I have nowhere to go. I need to plan this carefully.
2007-03-10 03:27:45 · update #1
I used to be one of those nice guys until I got tired of sitting home alone and not getting any. All the time wondering why women like you were always going after the sorriest things you could find. Now I ride a Harley, act like a total *** hole and I do not have to do without if do not want to. Your kind made the rules, I just play by them.
2007-03-10 03:33:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Sounds like wishful thinking - the illusion many chicks have "if they could only find their nice guy"
Strange thing is that they actually believe it
Actually women that SAY they want a "nice guy" actually would never be TURNED ON by one - no matter how hard they wish, as their evolutionary baggage as represented by their DNA prevents this
These chicks might temporarily (in between lying jerks) date a "nice guy" - however invariably the poor slob ends up being dumped on the curb - trying to figure out what went wrong
Men that treat women nicely often (subconsciously) get tagged as weaklings - inferior in an evolutionary context
Cheating, controlling behavior, lying, and even violence in males (to some degree, preferably restrained violence) - are a big turn-on for most chicks - these are key evolutionary survival skills for males over the first 3 to 5 million years of man's existence - and chicks will absolutely keep going back for more with these kinds of males as they tend to generate what most chicks crave the most - the crack-cocaine like high they call "chemistry"
Now that said: sounds like you are in danger and you need to seek shelter of some type
I suspect this behavior just didn't start recently, you obviously have seen signs of this before
I also suspect the typical noncontrolling, non-cheater, honest, and non-violent males (aka "nice guys) probably bore you to death - however that is quite normal as in evolutionary terms they are effectively (perceived) as genetic dead ends - not good bets in the genetic lottery of life
You probably need a bad guy that doesn't hit you, or the least worst jerk - jerky enough to attract you but not to threaten you with harm
2007-03-14 02:50:54 · answer #2 · answered by JET99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey x get out while ur still with the living and its ok to swallow ur pride and admit defeat, im sure your mum will just be relieved that ur safe. Go and stay with a friend if u cant go to your mums, drink some fine wine,get hammered, wallow in self pity for a day and then go seek some real comfort and cuddles with your kids and ur mum.. Make a nice plan with your mum for mothers day, picnic or something, and you will soon feel better and know that you have done the right thing.Be strong girly, you CAN do it .....
2007-03-13 22:18:17 · answer #3 · answered by oldybutgoody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is somewhere for you to go. Contact your GP,the council,the police-anybody. You don't deserve this. You can get out! I did-with no family at all in this country. I'm now in a rented flat-my little girl and I-and proud of myself for standing up and saying,'NO MORE!!!' You can do it! There are friends,family that will help you-you're not admitting defeat by leaving-you're admitting defeat by staying and letting him do this to you. You owe it to yourself-and your children-to leave him and start over now. If you don't,then there is every chance that one day his beatings will go too far-and your children won't have mummy living down the road-they won't have mummy at all. Think about that. You deserve a happy life with your children.
2007-03-10 04:26:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart you can just go. Your mum will find room for you rather than having some **** hitting you. It is hard to admit she was right and you were wrong but she will admire you for it. Your children need you there with them. If there really is no room then get intouch with a women's refuge or go to a mates. Don't apologise, I'm sure you are feeling scared but you MUST walk away before he hurts you really badly and your kids are left without a mum. Please don't stay with this man any longer. You deserve so much more and there are nice decent men out there who would treat you properly. Good luck hunny. Please walk away. x x x x
2007-03-12 03:27:19 · answer #5 · answered by picklexxx 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen you need to leave as next time it could get worse,i know your scared of doing this but admitting that you made the wrong choice and swallowing your pride and going home could prove the best thing you do.Under the current circumstances i am sure your mum would be relieved to have you around especially as your covered in bruises.I bet she would not say i told you so at all.You have to think about your children and get out whilst you can,wait for this piece of sh** to leave the house grab a suitcase and pack as many of your things as you can then leave you`ll find it allot easier then you think.One day you will find the right person but right now you need to get out whilst you still can.............good luck.
2007-03-10 03:40:32 · answer #6 · answered by sarah y 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation hun. It takes guts to get up and leave plus, I thought ' better the devil you know ' You do have to consider the worst case scenario though. What happens if next time he does it he puts you in hospital, what if next time he kills you ? OK your kids are safe but you have to make yourself safe too. There are a lot of womens refuges about, please go to one. From there they will help you. Put yourself on the council house list, you have a strong case to be near the top of the list. Please do not stay just because you feel you have no-where to go, there are people out there that can help you just have to find the strength to do it. I am divorced now and have met a wonderful man who is tender and caring (they do exist) took me a long time to trust, but I am now happy. Please take care of yourself hun and stay safe x
2007-03-14 03:17:34 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Isis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of guys who can give you want you want. First, you have to get rid of this guy for good! In many cases of demostic violence, the woman always comes back. If you have as many bruises as you say you do, you need to contact the police and go to a battered womans shelter. If you don't know where one is, the police will know. This will only get worse until YOU do something about it!
There are plenty of guys who truly know how to treat a woman. There are also plenty of ways to find them as well.
2007-03-10 03:25:55 · answer #8 · answered by Gary M 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Leave now before he really hurts you. Call the cops if he does it again and have him arrested for assult. That will wake him up, but get the hell out of there before you need to do that.
Many men do love their gfs and you deserve better than this coward.
2007-03-10 03:27:09 · answer #9 · answered by Pierre Patelin Longshanks 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You like so need to quietly kick some *** by disappearing before he makes you disappear- do you get it kid- his self esteem is so f---ed up that he can't see the forest for the trees. You are a beautiful person who needs a change NOW.
2007-03-10 03:24:58 · answer #10 · answered by bwitt321 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋