my mom has me do EVERYTHING for her! like a slave. I am now 18 and have a life of my own, the pressure is building up and i need a NICE way to tell her to stop depending on me for everything...
2007-03-10 02:52:48 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have an 18 year old son too. Sometimes its hard for us moms to realize our children grow up. Talk to her and tell her that you are an adult now and that you are still trying to figure out what to do with your own life and that you need some space. I'm sure your mom loves you with all her heart and you may be the only person that she has to depend on so don't be too hard on her. It's very hard to let go of our children.
2007-03-10 03:17:09 · answer #1 · answered by Cool Callie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom was like that too. In fact, my friends used to call me Cinderella.
I mean, she would be sitting in the kitchen and call me out of my bedroom (my retreat from her) just to get her a drink of water.
It stopped (for the most part) when I moved out. There were times when she would call me to take her to the store, bank, or whatever. I guess she just wanted the company, because she drove. Or perhaps she wanted her house cleaned--because it turned into a junk heap after I left.
I would go over once a week or every other week (she had 6 of 8 kids who took turns on different days)and subject myself to her abuse (if that's what you want to call it) to make her happy (which never worked).
I tried to tell mom to do things for herself because I wasn't always going to be there (I was the last to leave the house), It didn't work. I think she was oblivious to her actions even after confronted about them.
Be it that she was lazy, tired, mildly depressed, or in need of psychological help, I don't know. But I did know she would not be here forever (she died 3 years ago) and sometimes I wish she would call me up to take her to the store.
2007-03-10 11:34:06 · answer #2 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that is a narcissistic mother who cannot separate her son's emotion/life from hers. There is no nice way to tell her this. You have to confront her (repeatedly), so that she gets the message. Just as I have done, it is everyone's responsibility to fight for one's independence and freedom. Now is the time.
2007-03-10 11:00:58 · answer #3 · answered by dansdna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take her with you at first (to the supermarket to washt the car etc ) and after a while phone her oh you'll have to this by yourself i have to go to a seminar..or blabla any excuse will do ...the lamer the more she gets the message
but that doens't mean to really stop doing things for her.just not as often.
2007-03-10 10:58:02 · answer #4 · answered by flaming red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you still living at home? Then move. Get an answering machine to filter her calls.
2007-03-10 11:50:47 · answer #5 · answered by narcisscus24 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋