I can be so mean!?

Question

i am a mean person, i do not like taking orders from people, i get mad easily but do not like it when i do. how can i learn to relax and be nice?

Answer 1

First of all, I believe you are judging yourself much too harshly! Who else, other than you has judged you MEAN? AND WHY?
Taking orders from other people can be of help or edification at times - and at others, it will result in compromising that of yourself which gives you your identity to be usurped.
The trick is in how to separate the two : When to take orders is good for you and others. And when NOT to, lest you forfeit yourself.
You say you get mad easily . . If you were really a "mean" person, would you have confessed that you do not like it when this anger rises?
I don't know what you mean by trying to become nice?
Do you mean nice, as in becoming a "doormat" which other covertly , truly "mean" people will wipe their shoes on. That is not being nice, That is being sacrificial because you may be confused with your actions? Self-esteem?
Or do you mean nice, as in giving others a fair chance, audience, as you would like being given you?
I can suggest several ways of achieving some degree of relaxation :
* Take deep breaths before overwhelming your brain into becoming ferociously responsive. Therefore, consider what the situation is with a more composed attitude. You'll know better what is right for you to do and as well what is wrong.
* Journal. Every day. Whenever, as a matter of a self-help practice, as much or as often as you need.
* Contemplate upon what issues make you react a certain way . . then if possible, place yourself in both shoes : yours and the other person, with whom a problem, or disagreement has arisen.
* Meditate, parochially or secularly for some time or times within the day.
Ask only GOOD and Fully trusted people if they believe you are mean and in what way?
If you have managed to have maintained True, Good, Trustworthy friends for considerable lengths of time, that alone is PROOF you must NOT be a mean person, as you
judge so harshly of yourself!
Do not destroy yourself by harsh means, that is like flogging yourself because you feel an undeserved GUILT!
Guilt about what, ask of yourself before you go to the whip or hand some other, truly mean-spirited person, this whip.
To be Constructive with yourself achieves great , good changes - whereas destructiveness, will utterly obliterated
EVERYTHING!!!

I hope I have helped.
Good Luck.
Grace.

Answer 2

When you start to get mad, catch yourself, start to concentrate on relaxation techniques (after you learn them of course). Concentrate on positive thinking, try to make positive comments to more people, you will eventually become a happier person with yourself and to others.

Answer 3

Easy.

Just put yourself in the other persons shoes. Whomever you get upset or mad at, imagine how you'd feel if you were getting the short end of the stick.

TFTP

Answer 4

Try to find one redeeming quality about the peson, place, situation or thing that's making you so abominably pissed off. Also, you might try some deep breathing and counting to ten. That's good for controlling one's temper. Another thing, if it is a person, try to put yourself in his or her place. How would they feel? Would you want someone going off at you about something?

Answer 5

Sounds like you have some anger and control issues - get some counseling

Answer 6

well the hard part u rdy did..(reconize how ur).
now try to calm down/ think b4 acting or giving some1else answers/ be a little bit more patience/

Answer 7

Is something stressing you? There's a good chance that it is if you are having anger problems. Try to resolve your problems.